I am at A, could end up at B or D

I would have to get divorced or negotiate a one-sided open marriage for myself

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if some of you men weren’t so lousy in bed, we would want to sleep with you more.

LOL why do you think women are good in bed? 90% are horrible. Seriously!

Anonymous wrote:We picked D. Parents get along fine in front of the kids. DH is loving towards kids. We mutually are not interested in having sex with each other. I wouldnt care if he had an affaitlr. DH treats me poorly behind doors and I'm now too unattractive to him with aging and weight gain. We have about 15 years to go.

Not divorcing niw bc neither wants to split time with the kids and drastically lower standard of living. Gotta play the hand your delt. This to us is better than shuttling the kids between two homes. Also, watching my divorced friends try to find new husbands is horrific. Id trade one set of problems for another if we split.

Maybe you picked D, but men really don't "do" D (or A) ..... both are just different ways of saying B. Fortunately you appear to know that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if some of you men weren’t so lousy in bed, we would want to sleep with you more.

I can and will keep a smile on your face 24/7. You have to want it, though. Too many women don't.

Yup. Beyond a certain point, you need some help from her hormones.

We picked D. Parents get along fine in front of the kids. DH is loving towards kids. We mutually are not interested in having sex with each other. I wouldnt care if he had an affaitlr. DH treats me poorly behind doors and I'm now too unattractive to him with aging and weight gain. We have about 15 years to go.

Not divorcing niw bc neither wants to split time with the kids and drastically lower standard of living. Gotta play the hand your delt. This to us is better than shuttling the kids between two homes. Also, watching my divorced friends try to find new husbands is horrific. Id trade one set of problems for another if we split.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if some of you men weren’t so lousy in bed, we would want to sleep with you more.

I can and will keep a smile on your face 24/7. You have to want it, though. Too many women don't.

No sex for 9 years.
Oldest turn 18, divorced.

Anonymous wrote:This actually pertains to me. My wife and I have not had sex for 2 and a half years. I love her. She is my soul mate. I don't want to leave or divorce but if I make an advance she will always push me away.There are no other overriding conflicts. No abuse, no alcohol or drug abuse, no infidelity. Frankly I don;t know what to do. I don't initialize anything anymore because I know she will not want me. I just wondered if anyone else fell into this pattern and ever recovered their marriage.

Now tell us about your girlfriend.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if some of you men weren’t so lousy in bed, we would want to sleep with you more.

Don't marry them then. I had the courage to walk away. Still single but not stuck with bad d@ick for a few more bucks.

Maybe if some of you men weren’t so lousy in bed, we would want to sleep with you more.

I stayed for a lot of years in a marriage like this. Stayed because I would had lost my child for 50% of the time and based on her issues she would not have been a good parent. So I stayed. Out child legally becoming an adult at 18 though was the catalyst for me. Told her we were done. She was dumbfounded. Took less than a year and final signature on documents done. I now see a sunrise instead of a sunset.

This actually pertains to me. My wife and I have not had sex for 2 and a half years. I love her. She is my soul mate. I don't want to leave or divorce but if I make an advance she will always push me away.There are no other overriding conflicts. No abuse, no alcohol or drug abuse, no infidelity. Frankly I don;t know what to do. I don't initialize anything anymore because I know she will not want me. I just wondered if anyone else fell into this pattern and ever recovered their marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A DH here. Getting back to the woman who hijacked the thread, if he really is calling her those names and treating her with such disrespect, it sounds as though he is no longer attracted to her and doesn't want to have sex with her anyway. And my guess is that HE is staying together for the kids' sake, too. Once they are out of the house, he's gone. You would not believe how often that happens. A colleague at my work said after his parents dropped him off at college they drove back home and filed for divorce.

It sucks because the child has not developed a social network at school, is in a new phase of their life, and wonders if their parent's entire marriage was a scam. Thanks mom and dad for doing this to me. You did no favors.

They did what they thought was best for you and presumably acted in good faith at least towards you. I assume you don't use it as an excuse for stupid/asshole behavior in the here and now.

NP here. I think the point of posts like these is to alert parents who may be "staying together for the kids" (as my parents did), that you may not realize the extent to which your relationship (or lack thereof) affects your kids.

If you truly operate as BFFs who do not introduce bitterness, toxicity, resentment, or betrayal based on your lack of sex or other issues; and you model a healthy, loving relationship; and you stay together until the kids are gone, more power to you. I just think most folks aren't capable of that, and the kids suffer the same as or worse than the children of divorce.

And to be clear, I hope I don't engage in stupid/asshole behavior too often, but when I do, I don't blame my parents.

Anonymous wrote:C. An affair is not acceptable. I didn't get married to jerk off either (not that there isn't plenty of that anyway in even a good marriage), and waiting til the kids are older is stupid. Do you want your kids to be miserable during the best parts of their lives?

Nope- C- get divorced now.

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