Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you "fill up the day" with when you're not working and don't have kids?

Tons of stuff! Travel, work out, get together with friends, take random classes that interest me (like right now I'm taking a cooking class), go to the beach house, read books, go shopping.
All those things you wish you could do but don't have time for because you're working? I do them. Plus, I'm not exhausted when DH gets home from work!

Ditto! I never understand when people say they are bored and have too much time on their hands. There are always interesting things to do and learn especially in a metropolitan city.

Anonymous wrote:One other question to the women who chose to stay home before having kids. Do you feel like you have to ask your husband for money? Is there an expectation that you are "pulling your weight" so to speak -- perhaps running a household, cooking meals? Or are things really equitable with no questions asked? I guess it probably depends on the marriage.
Also, I wonder if there are any men out there whose wives do well who choose to stay home without raising kids.

I do not have to ask my husband for money. We have had joint bank and credit card accounts since we were married. I handle the non-investment side of our finances, run the household and cook about half the meals. Things really are equitable and we don't fight about money. I think it helps that we were both raised in traditional families and have complementary personalities. There is always something to do!

I like my job and it would still be great not to have to work -- not to have to answer to demanding bosses, be tied to email constantly etc. What I would worry about, unless the family is trust fund wealthy, what happens if the wife never works and then “has to” for some reason. I know people say that if you have a college degree, you’d land something, but these days, I’m not so sure. Even people with great degrees are un/underemployed. Can you imagine going to an interview and saying - I went to college 20 yrs ago and have never worked at any kind of job since. I think it can be doable for women who worked for 5-10 yrs and then quit - kids or not. But I’m talking about the few people I know who have absolutely never held any kind of job -- I think they’d have trouble even landing a secretarial, retail, fast food job and nor would those jobs even come close to supporting their upper middle class lifestyles.

OP here. Correct term would be envy, 22:56. But whatever the term, I don't think it's envy I have. I think maybe a lack of respect. But having read some of the responses from women who aren't working, I guess their choices make somewhat more sense. Of course I understand it's none of my business and their life choices don't need to be justified to anyone but themselves, but I found it interesting to hear their reasoning. It wouldn't work for me, but to each his own. I guess there are just a lot of people out there who don't enjoy working. And that's kind of sad considering most of us have to work.

OP you are obviously jealous. Anyone I know would do this if they could, no matter how important their job/career/title is. You sound like a ridiculous jealous child, don't let it get the best of you. I've seen women in this in my neighborhood - they hate the SAHMs in the beautiful new houses and they could not be more jealous. It really oozes from their pores. Don't be one of them!

I am happy in my old house, working 35 hours, but that is just me. It is not for everyone. If people do well for themselves, they have obviously made some amazing decisions in their lives and had some amazing choices that most of us have not.

Back off OP. Learn how to find your OWN happiness. You sound like a busybody bully hag.

Anonymous wrote:I would LOVE to do this. Working is overrated if you ask me. My husband and I hope for me to quit one day, kids or not. I've worked in high powered jobs for 10 years and have saved a lot of money and think I deserve it.

Your husband hopes for you to quit one day? Because you deserve it? What about him?

22:45 again...to clarify prior to getting married I just lived with him on weekends because I didn't want a hellish commute to work every morning. Called it "our condo" but was in his name then. Once we married I moved there completely.

I moved for my husband and was out of work the first 4 months of our marriage. I had plenty to do. We had many repairs needed in our condo which I just kept putting off prior. Finally painted a room. I finally scheduled doctors appointments, dentist, etc. I made much more exciting meals and experimented with all sorts of more time consuming recipes than I would have before. I was more willing to entertain on a weekend because I wasn't stressed out and needing to unwind. I job hunted and interviewed.

He loved it. I was so relaxed and could focus more on him. No I'm not all retro, but I see no issue with people who do this if they can afford it. I enjoy my work, but it's nice to have that long a break to focus on family life-yes 2 people are a family. Also, stress can contribute to infertility.

Anonymous wrote:Lordy-I wish this could be me! I love my job, make just as much money as my husband and honestly like going to work everyday. But, I've been going to work every day for the past 21 years. If my husband made enough so that we could have the same standard of living of higher, I would totally capitalize on that and quit working!! The people on here who have their panties all wadded up and are so judgey about that just can't admit that some little (if not big) part of them is jealous. I find that cheerfully admitting envy or jealousy really is quite cathartic and allows you to let go of alot of anger.

NO part of me wants to quit work. NO jealousy because I want to work. You do know that women like me exist, right?

If you have family money, not much to lose. I don't really get it for the women without a pot to piss in.

I have a friend who did this for a few years before kids. She had just finished grad school, they knew she would stay home with kids, and then they had some fertility struggles. Some years later, they are divorcing. She has not worked at all in quite a long time. I worry about her job prospects. They do have a small child now...

I know a woman like this. She married straight out of high school, never went to college and hasn't worked a day since (12 years). She had planned to be a sahm, but hasn't gotten pregnant. She stays at home with the dogs (referred to as kids), posts to Pinterest and plays Facebook games all day. I think she is wasting her life. Her husband confided that this wasnt the plan, but he feels stuck. She has no life outside of the home. It's "different" to say the least.

Anonymous wrote:What I don't understand is why both partners don't work until they can afford to both retire. I hate working and can totally understand not wanting to work, but I can't imagine thinking my husband should work while I don't.

Well, at least in my case, my husband will never retire! We have enough for him to retire now, but he has an entrepreneural spirit and will always work. His work is his passion. Thankfully, he's not tied to a desk job and has a lot of flexibility.

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who never had a job as far as I know. But she is busy running the household, takes care of all the details from paying the bills, stocking the house, planning vacations, etc. DH makes a decent amount as a law firm partner but they are very down to earth, live way below their means and do not have any help.

And no kids or pets either. DW uses her free time for her hobby, which she is quite good at.

I know someone who never had a job as far as I know. But she is busy running the household, takes care of all the details from paying the bills, stocking the house, planning vacations, etc. DH makes a decent amount as a law firm partner but they are very down to earth, live way below their means and do not have any help.