Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my child asks me why she doesn't have a sibling, I'm going to say, "We're happy with our family the way it is." Which is the core truth, regardless of any adult concerns about having enough resources, whether financial or emotional.

Just tell her you stopped at perfection!

Agree. I always feel a little sad when I hear mothers say that even with the child(ren) they have, they don't feel that their families are "complete." it's like saying that their existing children are somehow deficient--not a great message to send to your kids.

Anonymous wrote:When my child asks me why she doesn't have a sibling, I'm going to say, "We're happy with our family the way it is." Which is the core truth, regardless of any adult concerns about having enough resources, whether financial or emotional.

Just tell her you stopped at perfection!

for me, one of the best things is that I am never sick of my one kid. I am not the world's most patient person so get annoyed sometimes, but i never feel like i've had enough of him. we have lots of friends with 2 or more and many of them seem eager to be away from their kids (use camps on vacation, drop them off with g-parents a lot, complain about not having free/cheap child care so they can go away for weekends, etc). i KNOW i would feel that way if I had more than one, so it works for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finances. I think one kid taking care of a parent who has $1 million in the bank would be a less stressful situation than 2 kids taking care of a parent who has 0 savings.

I just love when people post a simplistic black-and-white statement, thinking they are making the perfect point.

Yeah, all parents of multiples are penniless, and all parents of singles are millionaires. :eye roll:

Sorry, to offend you. I was listing an advantage for me. With one child, we're able to save for retirement. With a second, the costs of daycare, college, and possibly private school (not to mention all the other expenses children incur) would really eat away at that.

Anonymous wrote:when the only at some point will ask the parents why they didn't have another child and to wish for a brother or sister. How would that make the parent REALLY feel "because only one was in the cards for us due to stress and hardship or other reasons cited here?" I'm sorry but if you are physically and financially able to have another i think you owe it to them to have another. The reality is they need a sibling in this world. Someone to lean on when they become adults, attend their respective weddings, take care of the parents when they get old, on their deathbeds TOGETHER.

I'm just not sold on an only.

I think no one is really trying to sell anyone on having an only. You can close the thread and move along - no one is trying to convince you to do anything.

A family of three fits very nicely on a plane, as there are usually 3 seats together. And addressing the more serious point brought up above, you cannot predict whether siblings will get along. A sibling can be a burden rather than a blessing. My brother has brought so much worry and heartache to my family as an adult and as a child. For every person I know who has a close and loving relationship with a sibling I know another who is in a situation similar to mine.

Anonymous wrote:when the only at some point will ask the parents why they didn't have another child and to wish for a brother or sister. How would that make the parent REALLY feel "because only one was in the cards for us due to stress and hardship or other reasons cited here?" I'm sorry but if you are physically and financially able to have another i think you owe it to them to have another. The reality is they need a sibling in this world. Someone to lean on when they become adults, attend their respective weddings, take care of the parents when they get old, on their deathbeds TOGETHER.

I'm just not sold on an only.

The one child I have is so nice I don't want to risk having another one who turns out to be a jerk like the quoted PP

When my child asks me why she doesn't have a sibling, I'm going to say, "We're happy with our family the way it is." Which is the core truth, regardless of any adult concerns about having enough resources, whether financial or emotional.

Anonymous wrote:Finances. I think one kid taking care of a parent who has $1 million in the bank would be a less stressful situation than 2 kids taking care of a parent who has 0 savings.

I just love when people post a simplistic black-and-white statement, thinking they are making the perfect point.

Yeah, all parents of multiples are penniless, and all parents of singles are millionaires. :eye roll:

Pro: private school.

Con: no emotional insolution in the house when parents fight.

Anonymous wrote:when the only at some point will ask the parents why they didn't have another child and to wish for a brother or sister. How would that make the parent REALLY feel "because only one was in the cards for us due to stress and hardship or other reasons cited here?" I'm sorry but if you are physically and financially able to have another i think you owe it to them to have another. The reality is they need a sibling in this world. Someone to lean on when they become adults, attend their respective weddings, take care of the parents when they get old, on their deathbeds TOGETHER.

I'm just not sold on an only.

My DH is one of four. Every one of them moved far away from their parents and from one another, as soon as they became adults, to every corner of the US.
They hardly ever see one another and rarely talk to each other. They are friendly, but not friends. There was and is no drama/trauma. An average family.

There are no guarantees for anything! You do not have to give your child a sibling. And you certainly should not do it for the often cited reasons of 'giving them a friend' or 'sharing the burden to take care of their aging parents together' . These things have a knack for not panning out.

Finances. I think one kid taking care of a parent who has $1 million in the bank would be a less stressful situation than 2 kids taking care of a parent who has 0 savings.

One of the PPs said something about always craving a house full of kids and a big family, but then growing up to realize it just wasn't in her personality to have that and remain calm/collected/sane.

It's never occurred to me before that this is also me, but wow -- I think it is!

We don't have a huge network of friends or family by any means, and many of our friends are childless still, but somehow I've already managed to cultivate relationships for my young kid that involve having other kids over, taking them places, and generally having a fun and busy child-centric vibe when I feel like it. And I think that's working for me.

'One and done' allows me to live my life to the fullest, and create a truly full life for my right-sized family.

Choices. We can live in the city or the burbs, buy a small place or a big place, and go public or private.

Anonymous wrote:when the only at some point will ask the parents why they didn't have another child and to wish for a brother or sister. How would that make the parent REALLY feel "because only one was in the cards for us due to stress and hardship or other reasons cited here?" I'm sorry but if you are physically and financially able to have another i think you owe it to them to have another. The reality is they need a sibling in this world. Someone to lean on when they become adults, attend their respective weddings, take care of the parents when they get old, on their deathbeds TOGETHER.

I'm just not sold on an only.

Lemme guess - in addition to being a thread-killer and throwing in baseless comments about optimistic future-telling, you're also a pro-lifer, or voting for Mitt, or evangelical?

I love spending time with my husband, who works a lot. With an only, we don't have to have one parent go to kid 1's baseball game while the other parent takes kid 2 to soccer. We can do these things together. I think the divide and conquer approach can be one reason a couple grows apart.

I also think giving a kid happy parents can be just as important as giving them a sibling.