Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One time my FIL brought in holiday desserts - two pies and a cake. Everyone got as much as they wanted but DS was offered ONE piece of ONE item. I laughed and said "do you really think you can give him something different than everyone else???!!!" and he said YES I DO AND DO YOU HAVE TO LAUGH AT EVERYTHING?!?!?!? and with that he stormed up stairs and did not come down to say good bye.

So i guess i laugh too much - my response is to giggle at stuff, no matter what it is- you know people like that. Drives ya crazy, right? heheheheeeee.

Umm, yeah, you do sound kind of annoying. . . .sorry. . .

Rather have someone annoying (which I don't think pp is) than someone who judges so easily like you, correct?

The Perpetually Laughing In-Law:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05Ycygz6YNM

Dh stands up for me and doesn't let him treat me like shit. He also demands that she treat him better. Unforgivable.

Anonymous wrote:I'm white. Hubby contributes to our household now so he isn't giving them as much time and money.

Umm, wow. I was going to write the same thing and add that I don't take their crap and they know it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One time my FIL brought in holiday desserts - two pies and a cake. Everyone got as much as they wanted but DS was offered ONE piece of ONE item. I laughed and said "do you really think you can give him something different than everyone else???!!!" and he said YES I DO AND DO YOU HAVE TO LAUGH AT EVERYTHING?!?!?!? and with that he stormed up stairs and did not come down to say good bye.

So i guess i laugh too much - my response is to giggle at stuff, no matter what it is- you know people like that. Drives ya crazy, right? heheheheeeee.

Umm, yeah, you do sound kind of annoying. . . .sorry. . .

Rather have someone annoying (which I don't think pp is) than someone who judges so easily like you, correct?

We're not close, and she believes it's better to ignore a problem than face it head on. So I have no idea what she doesn't like about me.

But like I said, we're not close. We don't talk, on the phone or when she visits. When we are talking, it's generally about the weather or a half truth about what is new personally or with extended family.

I'm pretty sure the not being close is related to the fact that there are plenty of things she dislikes about me. But I suppose it's hard to tell.

We've been married almost ten years.

My MIL is actually a really nice person, but she is super insecure. I think she dislikes things that make her feel bad about herself.

- I am not country enough and "I just don't understand how real America is"

- She is super bothered that I pushed DH to get a higher degree and professional job by getting loans. She has stated strongly that "you just work and that's that." She things DH is "putting on airs" and that it's my fault.

- That I insist on eating "fancy food" and she has expressed fears that I will starve our children because we won't be able to afford enough of the "fancy food." Note that my grocery budget is $450 a month for a family of 4.

- And then one that I don't know for sure, but I suspect, is that I'm frankly kind of a contentious person. I can badger and be irate and disagree just because. I'm not proud of that. But she is the most compliant person in the world and I think she really doesn't like that I don't go with the flow more. I'm way too Type A. Maybe I just don't like it about myself, but she has commented on how I should be less of a perfectionist (in nicer words than that) so I think it may bother her. I don't blame her on that point.

Anonymous wrote:That I like "highly spiced food"...this means anything with any flavor other than extra salt.

My FIL has never tasted pizza, hamburgers, burritos, garlic or any "ethnic" food. He's old school british, from up north.
Sweet guy though.

They get upset when I go shopping when they say they already have food in the house - yep, its fish sticks on white bread (w/extra butter) for dinner for 4 adults! Yum!

WOAH. Tell me more about what they eat PP. I'm baffled!

That I keep my husband from calling them (he never calls unless I pester him to call, it is annoying and I don't think it is my job).

That I keep my husband from visiting them (he never wants to visit them, I would have to make him visit).

That I'm difficult and not very friendly.

That I don't enjoy spending time with them.

Let's see...

They probably think I took their son away from them even though he wasn't close to them when we met.

I'm liberal.

DH and I drink (although this is probably more of an issue for FIL than MIL, I think).

I'm DH's 2nd wife (divorce is frowned upon by them - so maybe that's more an issue for DH than me).

I will not just go along just to get along. They suck, so I limit my time with them. I do very little out of obligation

I'm really lucky with my in laws. My fil is great and my mil drives me crazy but she loves us. It gets under her skin that I expect her son to help around the house. Also I don't keep house up to her standards. She cleans her entire house every week on the same day and never changes this routine. We sacrifice having a showroom home because we have foster dogs that scratch the floors and furniture, shed everywhere and generally create chaos. It's all attributed to my low class upbringing because she can't believe her son would choose to live this way!

I am not driven career-wise. My in-laws are extremely smart and had incredibly successful careers and although I went to good schools I ended up in job I love but is not prestigious/newsworthy...

BILs can say what they want to MIL and it will be taken as the final word. If I (far more politely than BILs) state my opinion when asked, MIL is DYING to sweep it under the rug and it bothers her that I would have any opinion. Ever.

So it bothers her that I am not a nightmare 1950's sedated housewife, I suppose.

This is an interesting exercise. I think my in-laws mostly like and value me as a good partner for their son and a good mother for their grandchildren. A couple of things they probably don't like:

- I didn't change my name when we married, and we alternated the kids' last names (his, mine, his, mine). I know for a fact they dislike and disapprove of that.

- They wish we lived closer to them and visited more often. I don't know that they blame me for how little we see them, but they might. (They live in CA and the reason we don't go out there more often is that it's freaking expensive for five tickets to fly to the West Coast. And the reason we live here is that DH -- before he met me -- chose to attend law school here, and then he got a job here, and then he got offered partnership here, so ... not bloody likely we'll be moving across the country anytime soon).

- My MIL at least thinks that we are not stern enough disciplinarians with the kids. But they aren't around us enough for this to really be an issue.

- My MIL used to think it was weird that I BF my kids beyond 12 months (and I didn't do it that much past then, but every day of it just bothered her on some level), but then my SIL came along and nursed her oldest through a second pregnancy and is tandem nursing her 22mo and 4mo to this day, so I'm off the hook on that one lol.

That's all I can think of. I'm pretty lucky in the in-law department. They're Democrats, they're not religious, and they drink. Any small beefs they may have with me are very small indeed.

Anonymous wrote:One time my FIL brought in holiday desserts - two pies and a cake. Everyone got as much as they wanted but DS was offered ONE piece of ONE item. I laughed and said "do you really think you can give him something different than everyone else???!!!" and he said YES I DO AND DO YOU HAVE TO LAUGH AT EVERYTHING?!?!?!? and with that he stormed up stairs and did not come down to say good bye.

So i guess i laugh too much - my response is to giggle at stuff, no matter what it is- you know people like that. Drives ya crazy, right? heheheheeeee.

Umm, yeah, you do sound kind of annoying. . . .sorry. . .

One time my FIL brought in holiday desserts - two pies and a cake. Everyone got as much as they wanted but DS was offered ONE piece of ONE item. I laughed and said "do you really think you can give him something different than everyone else???!!!" and he said YES I DO AND DO YOU HAVE TO LAUGH AT EVERYTHING?!?!?!? and with that he stormed up stairs and did not come down to say good bye.

So i guess i laugh too much - my response is to giggle at stuff, no matter what it is- you know people like that. Drives ya crazy, right? heheheheeeee.