Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 15:36     Subject: Re:Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Anonymous wrote:Do people still read Deleuze? Thank god I'm no longer an academic! Hated all that pomo Homi Blabla crap.....


Were you a professor? What did you do when you left academia? I hated reading those philosophers in school but now I miss it a lot. I liked it when grappling with simulacra was the biggest worry of my life!
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 15:20     Subject: Re:Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Do people still read Deleuze? Thank god I'm no longer an academic! Hated all that pomo Homi Blabla crap.....
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 13:25     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hi OP here. DH wants divorce, but he is reluctant to move out. part of out is money, but I offered to write him a check for 3 months of living expenses. am I delusional to think he doesn't want to move out because he still loves me? and if he does love me, why does he refuse to work? I know part of the answer is because I allowed it to happen and I finally reached my limit.

Thanks for your support and being a sounding board . This is so confusing
! I'm meeting with my attorney today. We're supposed to get lunch but I can't keep anything down.


OP, Perhaps you missed my response. His not wanting to work has nothing to do with loving you or failing to. Male artist-thinker types DO NOT, like women, try to have it or do it all. They understand that earning a living or keeping a house takes away from precious time and intellectual energy. Like Kant, Balzac, Nabokov, or Solzhenitsyn they seek out women who will support this kind of lifestyle.


I see your point. I am a dancer by training before I went to med school. Being a doctor satisfies somewhat my fascination with movement and the human form, but I really really just want to dance. I guess I'm super lucky I have a job that can support us/me, and like you said,I absolutely try to do it all.but I'd love to swing in a hammock and read deleuze. maybe I could afford it if DH wanted to work or lost his taste for the good life. No more trips to Bali dear, I have to practice my solo! maybe once I'm divorced I can find my very own out patron of the arts.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 13:13     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Anonymous wrote:Hi OP here. DH wants divorce, but he is reluctant to move out. part of out is money, but I offered to write him a check for 3 months of living expenses. am I delusional to think he doesn't want to move out because he still loves me? and if he does love me, why does he refuse to work? I know part of the answer is because I allowed it to happen and I finally reached my limit.

Thanks for your support and being a sounding board . This is so confusing
! I'm meeting with my attorney today. We're supposed to get lunch but I can't keep anything down.


OP, Perhaps you missed my response. His not wanting to work has nothing to do with loving you or failing to. Male artist-thinker types DO NOT, like women, try to have it or do it all. They understand that earning a living or keeping a house takes away from precious time and intellectual energy. Like Kant, Balzac, Nabokov, or Solzhenitsyn they seek out women who will support this kind of lifestyle.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 13:10     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Nominate this thread for best troll feeder.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 12:27     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
he wants a 50-50 split and spousal support (at 33, with 3 years of marriage and no kids) so he can live off his PT job and your alimony and enjoying himself in his esoterical research project that won't go anywhyere, while you work to get money to pay spousal support.

Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 10:23     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Anonymous wrote:Hi OP here. DH wants divorce, but he is reluctant to move out. part of out is money, but I offered to write him a check for 3 months of living expenses.

I should clarify we share all of our money, but now that he wants a divorce, he doesn't think he should dip into the family pot. Nice and very gentlemanly, but it doesn't make trying to separate easy. And also why does he want a 50-50 split and spousal support on top of that? Not gentlemanly!
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 10:12     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Hi OP here. DH wants divorce, but he is reluctant to move out. part of out is money, but I offered to write him a check for 3 months of living expenses. am I delusional to think he doesn't want to move out because he still loves me? and if he does love me, why does he refuse to work? I know part of the answer is because I allowed it to happen and I finally reached my limit.

Thanks for your support and being a sounding board . This is so confusing
! I'm meeting with my attorney today. We're supposed to get lunch but I can't keep anything down.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2012 06:11     Subject: Re:Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Anonymous wrote:
As an academic, I would tell him to publish three articles based on his five years of research within the next year. Then, I would have him apply for positions that support independent research. There are a lot of such spots available in DC. Also, approach publishing entities regarding the possibility of a book.


Bullshit. You are not an academic, or you would know something about publication cycles and why it would not be possible to publish 3 articles in one year with no prior publication history.



I think that was the point, pp. The first pp was setting up a difficult challenge for the DH to provide clarity as to how serious he is about this research. Was he just twiddling his thumbs or is there a "there" there? Also, you wouldn't like get to publication, but you could submit three papers.

Also, read the rest of the thread. The DH wants a divorce now so the whole issue is moot.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2012 22:14     Subject: Re:Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
As an academic, I would tell him to publish three articles based on his five years of research within the next year. Then, I would have him apply for positions that support independent research. There are a lot of such spots available in DC. Also, approach publishing entities regarding the possibility of a book.


Bullshit. You are not an academic, or you would know something about publication cycles and why it would not be possible to publish 3 articles in one year with no prior publication history.

Anonymous
Post 06/26/2012 21:55     Subject: Re:Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
sorry hon, you already lost your best friend. best to move onward peacefully if you can.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2012 21:15     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Hey OP, just wanting to check in and see how you are doing today?
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2012 22:27     Subject: Re:Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEzuC5UoM8g&feature=related
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2012 22:14     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
Anonymous wrote:You Arter not the only person whoop has ever gotten divorced. It blows Arty first but then you well be happy and free.tighten up and lose a little weight. 33 its getting up there but you should be able to find love with some attention to you're looks and attitude. Good luck
!

Are you freaking kidding?!
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2012 21:36     Subject: Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?
You Arter not the only person whoop has ever gotten divorced. It blows Arty first but then you well be happy and free.tighten up and lose a little weight. 33 its getting up there but you should be able to find love with some attention to you're looks and attitude. Good luck
!