Anonymous wrote:That is a lot of money to spend on a watch whether you can easily afford it or not. I would just tell him you love it but prefer to find something in the $X hundred range.

I actually just found a fun watch on amazon for $35, it came last week. I absolutely love it and prefer it over any expensive watch. I can afford a $5,000 watch but would never want to have one. Lord knows how much other money I was on other useless things. Expensive things are just not my taste.

Our car is an example of this. My husband insisted on this particular brand just because that is what his parent have, but that car is so not us. I am reminded everyday when I drive it that I just gotta be me!

Typo:

was = waste

(sorry)

That is a lot of money to spend on a watch whether you can easily afford it or not. I would just tell him you love it but prefer to find something in the $X hundred range.

I actually just found a fun watch on amazon for $35, it came last week. I absolutely love it and prefer it over any expensive watch. I can afford a $5,000 watch but would never want to have one. Lord knows how much other money I was on other useless things. Expensive things are just not my taste.

Our car is an example of this. My husband insisted on this particular brand just because that is what his parent have, but that car is so not us. I am reminded everyday when I drive it that I just gotta be me!

I could buy three new watches a year for the next 25 years for $200/year.

Honestly, OP? If my husband spent 5K without telling me, I'd blow the fuck up. But your marriage is not my marriage (and uh, your financial circumstances are not mine--I took back the $200 earrings because I thought that was outrageous). I think the more concerning piece is that you feel uncomfortable telling him ...

Like PP said, I get the feeling that this is more about him than it is about you.

Anonymous wrote:10:21 here, and no, I WOH.

And I don't see why anyone should be OK with a spouse spending $5K on a present that doesn't ring the recipient's chimes. I also can't imagine letting that sort of outlay slide just because I don't want to hurt the poor little bunny's feelings. We're grownups, which means we can accommodate both feelings and reason.

Spending that $5k on a watch was about HIM, not her. He gave HIMSELF a gift. The gift of feeling like a high roller who can buy his SAH wife a watch from Cartier and them brag about it. She didn't get a gift at all.

10:21 here, and no, I WOH.

And I don't see why anyone should be OK with a spouse spending $5K on a present that doesn't ring the recipient's chimes. I also can't imagine letting that sort of outlay slide just because I don't want to hurt the poor little bunny's feelings. We're grownups, which means we can accommodate both feelings and reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, he earned it, let him spend it.
Like others I have trouble reconciling how "we" (read: he) could easily afford it (how I hate that DCUM constant - "not that we COULDNT afford it.." ugh, ugh) yet college and renovations are an issue.

I hate the notion that it's his money and he can do what he wants with it. They're a team. They need to make financial decisions like a team.

let me guess, you SAH.

Let me gues, you are the stingy selfish woh spouse who gives your sah spouse an allowance like a child?

Huh? My husband and I both work and share the childcare duties like a team.

OP, I understand and admire your frugality. But it appears that your husband really wanted you to have this watch, you can afford it, and to reject his gift might hurt his feelings. So I would advise that you swallow your concerns this time, thank him, wear it in good health, and then gently let him know that you're good for a long time in the expensive gift department.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, he earned it, let him spend it.
Like others I have trouble reconciling how "we" (read: he) could easily afford it (how I hate that DCUM constant - "not that we COULDNT afford it.." ugh, ugh) yet college and renovations are an issue.

I hate the notion that it's his money and he can do what he wants with it. They're a team. They need to make financial decisions like a team.

let me guess, you SAH.

Let me gues, you are the stingy selfish woh spouse who gives your sah spouse an allowance like a child?

many people spend $5K on a family vacation for a week or on going to Disney. This is a far more meaningful gift that will last a life time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, he earned it, let him spend it.
Like others I have trouble reconciling how "we" (read: he) could easily afford it (how I hate that DCUM constant - "not that we COULDNT afford it.." ugh, ugh) yet college and renovations are an issue.

I hate the notion that it's his money and he can do what he wants with it. They're a team. They need to make financial decisions like a team.

let me guess, you SAH.

Anonymous wrote:Eh, he earned it, let him spend it.
Like others I have trouble reconciling how "we" (read: he) could easily afford it (how I hate that DCUM constant - "not that we COULDNT afford it.." ugh, ugh) yet college and renovations are an issue.

I hate the notion that it's his money and he can do what he wants with it. They're a team. They need to make financial decisions like a team.

Anonymous wrote:Eh, he earned it, let him spend it.
Like others I have trouble reconciling how "we" (read: he) could easily afford it (how I hate that DCUM constant - "not that we COULDNT afford it.." ugh, ugh) yet college and renovations are an issue.

I can't speak for the OP, but I would say something similar and here's why: a Cartier watch is a complete and utter luxury. I was raised to believe that you can never save too much, and it's hard for me to let go of the feeling that I have to save, save, save. My dad was laid off when he was 49 and decided to retire then. He's now 68 and has supported him and my mom (and us while we were still in college) all on his own wits playing the stock market. They have to be very careful how they spend their money, but due to being very frugal, they have quite a bit now. But my mom shops at thrift stores, buying clothes for $1 or $2 and she makes a lot of her clothes herself. They buy cars like Honda Camrys and drive them into the ground. They refuse to pay full price for movies, so they wait until a movie becomes second-run at the $5 theater. They just don't see the point in paying full price for stuff. So while we would have the money for a Cartier watch, I would feel guilty accepting it b/c a $50 watch could do just as well and the rest could be put into the kids' college funds.

Eh, he earned it, let him spend it.
Like others I have trouble reconciling how "we" (read: he) could easily afford it (how I hate that DCUM constant - "not that we COULDNT afford it.." ugh, ugh) yet college and renovations are an issue.

Anonymous wrote:

+1 My husband bought me a Rolex for a wedding present, and I wear it every day. I'd have gone through ten watches by now if I were buying cheaper ones. Many people wear Cartier/Rolex watches that are 50 years old, or older. I will give the watch to one of my children. I have expensive cashmere sweaters that are ten years old and look great. The $50 sweater I bought last year has already pilled up and looks crappy.

I do think that people who were raised "cheap" (not necessarily "poor") often don't understand that spending more money up front for quality can be smarter in the long run.

I don't think that's what's happening here. The least-expensive thing isn't always the best deal, but the most expensive thing isn't always worth it in long-term payback, either. If it's not making her happy to see that watch on her wrist every day, it doesn't matter how long it's going to last. It's not a good deal. And if it did make her happy, and they could afford it, it wouldn't matter whether the cost per year of usefulness was more or less than the cost for a lesser watch.

Every expenditure is an opportunity cost, because there is always something else you could do with the money. If the OP's husband is buying presents for her based on what makes him feel good, that's messed up. If he's getting her something she wants but doesn't feel right buying for herself, that's sweet.

FBO wrote:Considering Cartiers will last a LONG time, think of it this way; he really only spent about $200/year for it to be on your wrist for the next 25 years. Have a daughter to pass it to? Even better.

Pretty good investment.

+1 My husband bought me a Rolex for a wedding present, and I wear it every day. I'd have gone through ten watches by now if I were buying cheaper ones. Many people wear Cartier/Rolex watches that are 50 years old, or older. I will give the watch to one of my children. I have expensive cashmere sweaters that are ten years old and look great. The $50 sweater I bought last year has already pilled up and looks crappy.

I do think that people who were raised "cheap" (not necessarily "poor") often don't understand that spending more money up front for quality can be smarter in the long run.