Anonymous wrote:This is what Emily post says...



It’s never wrong to send a written thank-you And people always appreciate getting “thanks” in writing.
Why? Handwritten notes are warmer and more special than other forms of thank-yous. The rule of thumb is that you should send a written note any time you receive a gift (even a ‘thank you’ gift) and the giver wasn’t there to thank in person. But notes are not always necessary. If, for example, the gift is from a close friend or relative (and it’s not a wedding gift) you can email or call instead if you prefer. Below are some other note-writing guidelines:

No, people don't *always* appreciate a thanks in writing. I think it's a waste of time, and I truly don't care if you send one or not (assuming of course there was a thank-you in person).

I have a friend who was meticulous about thank you notes until she had her 2nd child. At that point she verbally said to me, I hope a verbal thank-you is OK ... thank you notes are just more than we can handle right now! It was short, it was sincere, and I think about that all the time.

I don't hold it against people if I don't get one and I am pleasantly surprised when I do.

I think it's a nice thing to do if someone took the time to get you a gift or arrange a nice meal.

I'll be happy to mail thank you cards to appreciate the gifts when I receive thank you cards to appreciate the very fun bday party we put together. Until then, most important thing seems to be to ensure a great, special event for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course it is nice to get a thank you note, but i do not count on them nor should you. we always write thank you cards, but on two occaissions, i lost the cards in my piles of stuff, and never mailed them. i just can't keep it together so on the occaisions that i mess up, i hope you are not stewing over it.

No, not stewing; but I did notice, and I do remember.

Honestly though, I don't want to be friends with someone who is going to hold a grudge against me or my child because we didn't send them a thank you note. I'm sorry, but I do appreciate gifts, we thank people in person. If appropriate, I will send a card, but not for a kid's birthday party when my kid already said thank you to the kid who gave them a gift and I verbally thanked the parent. If you expect a thank you card on top of that, then you are probably not my kind of person and I guess I'm just not "fancy" enough for you.

Again - not stewing, and no grudge against you, and for heaven's sake, of course no grudge against your children. Just saying that I, like many people, appreciate a thank you note as a nice gesture and will notice and remember when a host doesn't bother sending them.

Anonymous wrote:When/where did Lizzie Post say that? Her family's webpage says the opposite, as noted by a PP.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/10/living/etiquette-kids-birthday-parties/index.html?hpt=li_bn3

It's such a simple thing, and it goes such a long way..and it does nothing but make you look good - i can't believe anyone would stubbornly insist on not sending thank you notes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course it is nice to get a thank you note, but i do not count on them nor should you. we always write thank you cards, but on two occaissions, i lost the cards in my piles of stuff, and never mailed them. i just can't keep it together so on the occaisions that i mess up, i hope you are not stewing over it.

No, not stewing; but I did notice, and I do remember.

Honestly though, I don't want to be friends with someone who is going to hold a grudge against me or my child because we didn't send them a thank you note. I'm sorry, but I do appreciate gifts, we thank people in person. If appropriate, I will send a card, but not for a kid's birthday party when my kid already said thank you to the kid who gave them a gift and I verbally thanked the parent. If you expect a thank you card on top of that, then you are probably not my kind of person and I guess I'm just not "fancy" enough for you.

When/where did Lizzie Post say that? Her family's webpage says the opposite, as noted by a PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And yes, thank you notes are common courtesy and good manners. Period. You want presents, be prepared to invest 30 minutes in a quick thank you note to your guests. Agree 100% that it's a good habit to start young. People appreciate thank you notes and they most definitely notice when they don't receive them.

I agree. I do definitely notice when I do not receive them. And when I do not receive a note for a gift that I've mailed, or placed in a gift bin at a bounce place party as a PP said, I always wonder if the kid ever even got the gift - or if it got lost or something. And I have to admit that my esteem of someone decreases a tiny, tiny bit if she turns out to be a person who doesn't send thank you notes.

I thikn the opposite. I notice and appreciate when I do get them. But I don't freak out and ban someone from my friendship if I don't get one. Y'all are overreacting. These are CHILDREN.

Do I keep an actual list of who sent a thank you note? No. Do I mentally note that I didn't receive one. Absolutely. It's common courtesy to thank someone for a gift and if the recipient can't be bothered to acknowledge the gift, then I won't be bothered to send them a gift in the future.

Anonymous wrote:Dear God people just send a thank you note for receiving a gift. To defend not sending a note is ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 year old parties this year where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one but would it have killed the mom or dad to acknowledge the gift we gave? I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via mail and have not received a note. Did they get it? Did it get lost? I have no idea. Just be polite and stop justifiying your rude behaviour because your too lazy to be grateful.

This x 10000. Can't believe so many people defend bad manners, especially when the task in question - writing a quick thank you note - is so easy to accomplish. Not writing thank you notes is lazy and poor form, period. You can't defend it.

And for those who said they interview candidates for jobs and don't care if they get a note, you're in the minority. I work for a top firm and believe me, especially for internships, thank you notes (or e-mails) are tracked and circulated among the partners making the hiring decisions. So it's not just about thanking Susie-Q for her birthday gift - it's a basic life skill.

I don't keep track of who does not send notes, but I think sending them is important and should be done. If your child received a gift, it is especially important to teach them to be gracious, and that includes writing/drawing and sending a thank you note. As to the "it wastes paper" people, have you ever sent a wedding invitation? A Christmas card? The same argument could be made.

Dear God people just send a thank you note for receiving a gift. To defend not sending a note is ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 year old parties this year where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one but would it have killed the mom or dad to acknowledge the gift we gave? I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via mail and have not received a note. Did they get it? Did it get lost? I have no idea. Just be polite and stop justifiying your rude behaviour because your too lazy to be grateful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course it is nice to get a thank you note, but i do not count on them nor should you. we always write thank you cards, but on two occaissions, i lost the cards in my piles of stuff, and never mailed them. i just can't keep it together so on the occaisions that i mess up, i hope you are not stewing over it.

No, not stewing; but I did notice, and I do remember.

That says a hell of a lot more about you than it does the person who forgot to send the card.

I have my kids write thank you notes because (like others) I think it's a good skill to develop. But I truly could not care less whether I get them. Once I give a gift, I'm done. I don't give it another thought. I can't imagine having the time or energy or desire to track who sends me a note.

It doesn't involve any "tracking." i said i noticed, and i remember.

We attended a bday party earlier today.

Not sure if we'll get a card or not, but don't really care--

The bday girl's verbal "thank you" and big hug of my son way way better then any card could be!