This was sort of me - I dated a 43 year old separated guy just after his wife kicked him out when I was 29. He was attractive for all the reasons PP said: giddy with freedom, well versed in being a boyfriend, sophisticated, cool career ... His wife (45 at the time) must have been cringing. But she was smart - she did not let him get their kid mixed up in things because she knew her ex and knew he would screw up (tho later she told him he should have married me!) And of course, dude ended up being a massive cheater and depressive and just generally fucked my life up for several years. I ended up feeling very sympathetic for his wife, who had to deal with his drama for 15 years, not just 2 like me. Anyway, my point is, your ex is still the same person, and now the 24 year old has to deal with it. You may want to consider feeling sorry for her!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I a 42 yo married woman so I fully realize that this could happen to me too, but I honestly cannot understand why your would cringe or even care enough to cringe. He is getting married and she was not his mistress. Try to be happy fo him and her. She is going to be your children's step mother.

That's part of the problem! Many people that age don't have the maturity to guide children and teenagers into adulthood.

Please; plenty of women are responsible Moms at 24. Please don't start the young Mom bashing.

Sorry--I really didn't didn't intend to sound like young mom bashing. Actually, I was a first-time mom at 23. I still think that what I wrote is true when it comes to parenting another person's teenagers and pre-teens.

Grade level children sounds like < 5th grade to me. So, maybe she'll be closer to 30 when the kids reach this stage? I honestly don't think the OP will have to worry about that far ahead. This relationship will run its course in 1-2 years. Better to not waste time worrying about something that is doomed anyway.

Anonymous wrote:A grad student, or his grad student?

I'm guessing his graduate student. I guess he is a professor.

As to why a young woman dates an old man... because she hasn't yet learned how to say no. Because she is a good girl who obeys authority figures.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I a 42 yo married woman so I fully realize that this could happen to me too, but I honestly cannot understand why your would cringe or even care enough to cringe. He is getting married and she was not his mistress. Try to be happy fo him and her. She is going to be your children's step mother.

That's part of the problem! Many people that age don't have the maturity to guide children and teenagers into adulthood.

Please; plenty of women are responsible Moms at 24. Please don't start the young Mom bashing.

Sorry--I really didn't didn't intend to sound like young mom bashing. Actually, I was a first-time mom at 23. I still think that what I wrote is true when it comes to parenting another person's teenagers and pre-teens.

Anonymous wrote:Married 21 years, divorced 9 months ago because of numerous issues, non of which were infidelity to his credit. We have 3 grade school kids. I am happier without him and feel, although not ideal or expected, divorce was best for our family. However, I cringe with this news. Just watching my 46 year old ex announce he is marrying a graduate student after there 5 month courtship makes me cringe. Wtf. No I don't think it's love and I have no fucking idea what the hell she is thinking....what 24 year old wants 3 kids over the age of 10? God I feel like such a lifetime movie, so embarrassing! Rant over.

It's really none of your business.

You have the right to ensure that your kids are cared for and safe around her and your ex. You have the right (imo) to feel that out and make judgments as to whether that is the case (5 mos. is not long enough, imo). But, beyond that, if they are safe, loved, etc. while with them, butt out.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of younger women lover older guys

Yep! Look at the situation in Arkansas! What a mess!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I a 42 yo married woman so I fully realize that this could happen to me too, but I honestly cannot understand why your would cringe or even care enough to cringe. He is getting married and she was not his mistress. Try to be happy fo him and her. She is going to be your children's step mother.

That's part of the problem! Many people that age don't have the maturity to guide children and teenagers into adulthood.

Please; plenty of women are responsible Moms at 24. Please don't start the young Mom bashing.

Anonymous wrote:it is very odd. spare me the sexual innuendo jokes, but i really don't know what a 24 year old would relate to in ab older man. and vice versa. and genders/ages reversed. of course there are some "old souls" who are young in age but you still gotta wonder. i feel old hanging out with my BIL and his friends and we are only 8 yrs apart.

The secret, its money ,look at hugh heffner

Or your husband is a great guy and you are am awful wife

Sounds like a bunch of bitter old women posting.

46 is not gross. If the guy takes care of himself, he can actually be hot. (Brad Pitt is 48; Clooney is 50; Johnny Depp is 48; Tom Cruise is 49).

Good for this husband! He had a long marriage and raised his kids. Unfortunately the marriage didn't last, but life goes on. I hope he has a fun ride, however long it lasts!!!

Anonymous wrote:I a 42 yo married woman so I fully realize that this could happen to me too, but I honestly cannot understand why your would cringe or even care enough to cringe. He is getting married and she was not his mistress. Try to be happy fo him and her. She is going to be your children's step mother.

That's part of the problem! Many people that age don't have the maturity to guide children and teenagers into adulthood.

it is very odd. spare me the sexual innuendo jokes, but i really don't know what a 24 year old would relate to in ab older man. and vice versa. and genders/ages reversed. of course there are some "old souls" who are young in age but you still gotta wonder. i feel old hanging out with my BIL and his friends and we are only 8 yrs apart.

A grad student, or his grad student?

OP, I definitely it sounds like you are handling this cringe-worthy situation with a lot of grace.

Lots of younger women lover older guys

Anonymous wrote:so for clarity: ex is 32, his dad is 48 or 49 his mom is 47 or 48. They are both grandparents to three kids. Grandparants at 40!...it was a small small community in a different time.

Yeah, I stopped dating someone when I found out his mom was just two years older than my sister. I could not handle that.