Anonymous wrote:i recently intereviewed for 2 jobs last week and was told upfront i was the top candidate, i blew both b/c I asked about work life balance and needing to leave most days by 5 and mentioned i have children that i need to pick up from daycare. This is my first time interviewing after having children and so I didn't know how to handle it and was VERY honest. My headhunter told me their feedback was great but felt they were discriminating b/c i had asked those things and told me next time to never ever mention anything about my personal life, ie/ that i even had kids and nevr bring up daycare duty. I was trying to be responsible b/c DH's husband is a lot of travel and I need to be back for pick up by 5:30/6....I thought it was a legit question, but it gave the interviewer an upper hand a reason to discrminate. I never saw it that way until the HH and I discussed it afterwards. I would not ask about Mat leave. Instead try to see if you can google info on it, or ask for a benefits package b/f accepting the role.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask about benefits - big picture items like health insurance copays, amount of leave, etc. when you interview seriously (so maybe not the first interview, but def. the 2nd or 3rd). I mean, how are you supposed to compare your offer at this company to another?
And you should ask HR, not the hiring manager, since they'll be more familiar with the specifics. But it is necessary (and usually negotiable) information. Just having to pay 80% of your insurance copay would equal, for example, a $15k lower starting salary at another job that pays 100% of insurance premiums. You need apples to compare to other apples.

Just like 6 weeks of paid maternity leave would have to be balanced by earning more or having other benefits at a company that only offers unpaid leave (like the govt).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask after they offer you the job but before you accept.

This. And pay close attention to tone and/or body language when the question is answered. If you get any kind of negative vibe, probe further -- how many women have taken maternity leave/pumped? In what positions? Are they still at the company and could you speak to them? I disagree that you don't need to ask about pumping. I showed up at a job with my pump and it definitely ended up being an issue. That's not right, but it happened. It was awful so I recommend avoiding it if you can. Same with the fact that I needed to leave by a certain time to pick up my DC from day care. Between that and pumping, I was driven out of the job pretty quickly -- in large part because I had not mentioned them during the interviews or when I accepted the position because I thought it wasn't appropriate to mention. You need to be sure that things like that are okay with your employer before accepting a job. Sad but true.

I don't think you would have lasted in the job regardless of whether you asked or not. Between pumping 3x or more times a day and leaving early to pick up your DC when were you ever working. Speaking with experience as I lasted a very short time pumping at work when I realized that I was barely working between that and wanting to leave at a decent time....not fair to your employer or colleagues....

Well, clearly my supervisor felt as you did, but as it happens, since I had my own office I was able to work while pumping. I answered emails and worked (my work was done on a computer or paper) during each pumping session. I also worked during my commute, in the evenings, and on weekends when necessary. I did not say that I needed to leave "early" I said I needed to leave at a specific time, meaning the latest I could leave and still make it to day care by 6:30, which is when they closed. I did my level best at that job and it was not my lack of effort that was the problem -- clearly, as I was the fifth person in six months who that particular supervisor had driven out. In my case, if it hadn't been pumping it would have been something else, but that did provide an excuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask after they offer you the job but before you accept.

This. And pay close attention to tone and/or body language when the question is answered. If you get any kind of negative vibe, probe further -- how many women have taken maternity leave/pumped? In what positions? Are they still at the company and could you speak to them? I disagree that you don't need to ask about pumping. I showed up at a job with my pump and it definitely ended up being an issue. That's not right, but it happened. It was awful so I recommend avoiding it if you can. Same with the fact that I needed to leave by a certain time to pick up my DC from day care. Between that and pumping, I was driven out of the job pretty quickly -- in large part because I had not mentioned them during the interviews or when I accepted the position because I thought it wasn't appropriate to mention. You need to be sure that things like that are okay with your employer before accepting a job. Sad but true.

I don't think you would have lasted in the job regardless of whether you asked or not. Between pumping 3x or more times a day and leaving early to pick up your DC when were you ever working. Speaking with experience as I lasted a very short time pumping at work when I realized that I was barely working between that and wanting to leave at a decent time....not fair to your employer or colleagues....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i recently intereviewed for 2 jobs last week and was told upfront i was the top candidate, i blew both b/c I asked about work life balance and needing to leave most days by 5 and mentioned i have children that i need to pick up from daycare. This is my first time interviewing after having children and so I didn't know how to handle it and was VERY honest. My headhunter told me their feedback was great but felt they were discriminating b/c i had asked those things and told me next time to never ever mention anything about my personal life, ie/ that i even had kids and nevr bring up daycare duty. I was trying to be responsible b/c DH's husband is a lot of travel and I need to be back for pick up by 5:30/6....I thought it was a legit question, but it gave the interviewer an upper hand a reason to discrminate. I never saw it that way until the HH and I discussed it afterwards. I would not ask about Mat leave. Instead try to see if you can google info on it, or ask for a benefits package b/f accepting the role.

It sucks to be turned down for such a stupid reason, but the thing is - if you didn't ask and accepted the job, and then found out that you couldn't leave at X time, wouldn't you be stuck? In fact, there is a post in the Off Topic section right now where a woman says she turned down an offer because she couldn't leave at a specific time that suited her needs.

Anonymous wrote:i recently intereviewed for 2 jobs last week and was told upfront i was the top candidate, i blew both b/c I asked about work life balance and needing to leave most days by 5 and mentioned i have children that i need to pick up from daycare. This is my first time interviewing after having children and so I didn't know how to handle it and was VERY honest. My headhunter told me their feedback was great but felt they were discriminating b/c i had asked those things and told me next time to never ever mention anything about my personal life, ie/ that i even had kids and nevr bring up daycare duty. I was trying to be responsible b/c DH's husband is a lot of travel and I need to be back for pick up by 5:30/6....I thought it was a legit question, but it gave the interviewer an upper hand a reason to discrminate. I never saw it that way until the HH and I discussed it afterwards. I would not ask about Mat leave. Instead try to see if you can google info on it, or ask for a benefits package b/f accepting the role.