Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

I guess they were thinking this is not about you.

They are not feeding lunch to the kids either. Why have a party if you are not going to serve food.

I'm not too bummed about the parents..but yes my sensibilities and hosting etiquettes tell me that we should take care of everyone in attendance. I can't wait until my DS is old enough to have drop off parties so I don't have to cater two different type of food (kids/adults), but in the meantime i feel like everyone has a better time if food is taken care of. I always make adult food and kids food.

If you can't feed your guests, don't have a party (unless there are extenuating circumstances like the nature center poste and you let it be known). If not at meal time, there should still be snacks and refreshments. People probably won't judge you on what you serve but will judge you if you don't serve anything.

I recently threw a 3yo party - I served lots of food. I thought I was being thoughtful and bought Horizon vanilla and chocolate milk boxes instead of juice that we get at most parties. On of the moms looked at the sugar content of the vanilla milk box and proclaimed it was too full of sugar for her kid. I would have gotten the 1% but it didn't come in a bulk pack. Needless to say I was offended and don't look forward to hosting anymore parties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hosted a part for 4yo DC where all the parents stayed. It was from 1-3 and I served real food. Sandwiches, mac 'n cheese, fruit, veggies, etc. and it was ALL gone at the end of the party. So that tells me that people were hungry. Even if I hosted a party from 2-4, I'd serve heavy snacks, not just chips and dip. I think it's better to have too much than too little.

I once went to a party (not a drop-off) that started at 1pm and all they served were pretzels and cake. Some of the kids had come from soccer didn't have time to eat beforehand so by the time the party ended at 3 or 4, they were starving and cranky.

The food being gone doesn't mean that people were hungry...it just proves the adage that people will eat what is FREE. If you had put out a bag of flour and a half eaten apple, that would have been fine too.

Maybe your friends are like that. Mine aren't.

We had a party at a nature center that only allowed cake. I made that clear on the invitation so that people weren't expecting food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-4 you don't serve a meal. Munches and cake yes, actual meal, no way. And you are never expected to feed adults. Sorry, but you're not. The party is for kids. That's who is invited. If parents want to stay, that's fine, but they can survive 2 hours w/o food and the party is for kids (20?) not 20 kids plus however many adults feel like staying.

What if the child is under 5 and it is not a drop off party?

Would you still not feed the parents (assuming it is during meal time)?

If the party start time is 2, I agree it is not meal time. I do think a party that starts at 3:30, 4:00 or 4:30 would be meal time.

If its meal time than yes, of course you serve a meal. I'm more a sandwich option (rather than "the 7th pizza party this year" person) and pizza is inconvenient for people who can't have dairy. However, pizza is fine. And if it's a non-drop off party then of course you feed adults because they are invited by definition. The problem starts when the party is for 9 yo kids and parts just want to hang out and chat and then expect the host to supply them with a free lunch. That's not ok, and yes, it happens all the time. If you want to drop off your DC and go out to lunch and come back (many of us do) that's great, but don't expect the host to provide lunch for you. Completely unreasonable.

Anonymous wrote:Where are the GUESTS' manners in this thread? Why not be gracious about the amount of effort hosting is and think "that's nice they invited me." Seems to me that is someone opens their house and goes to the trouble of organizing a party, guests could be happy about that and a less b*tchy about some of these other details...

I always make sure we eat at home before going to a party (either breakfast, lunch, or a heavier snack) bc I usually don't like much the party food, and prepare to mingle than eat ravenously, but still, I appreciate the snacks / nibbles that are put out.

IMO if someone goes through the trouble of organizing a party, they should throw out something for guests to at least nibble on. I have never been to a party where there was no food, I never hosted a party with no food, and cannot understand why it is so tough to throw some crackers / cheese at least on a table for those guests who may be hungry. Guests' manners in this thread are there, it may be safe to assume that the posters above said nothing other than 'thanks, what a wonderful party, we had so much fun' to their ungracious hosts. Why organize a party around lunch time and not offer at least some food? I would find it strange.

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

They were thinking you'd eat beforehand. Isn't that obvious?

Anonymous wrote:A one or two of your post are right on and you know who you are! The rest are wrong.

the ones who think a meal should be served during meal time are wrong?

Where are the GUESTS' manners in this thread? Why not be gracious about the amount of effort hosting is and think "that's nice they invited me." Seems to me that is someone opens their house and goes to the trouble of organizing a party, guests could be happy about that and a less b*tchy about some of these other details...

A one or two of your post are right on and you know who you are! The rest are wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

I really do not understand these kinds of posters. If you feel this way, don't go to the party. Or don't go to this person's parties in the future.

I personally think hosts have a wide latitude in what they do. Should guests criticize whether or not a host decorates the house? The types of games chosen? Whether or not they play music? Criticizing what they chose to serve for food is similar. Really, hosting is about having people over and encouraging them to have a good time. For some people, that's music and dancing; for some people that's the effort of having a bunch of kids go nuts in your home; for some people that's about the food. There isn't a "right" way to have a party, just like there isn't a right way to decorate a house. This thread is filled with insanity.

If the party was at a borderline time, I can understand. At 12:30, there should be lunch! Every guest is going to think the host is a bad host.

How do you even word an invitation to say there is no lunch served?

Party at 12:30. Please eat lunch before you come because no lunch will be served?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

I really do not understand these kinds of posters. If you feel this way, don't go to the party. Or don't go to this person's parties in the future.

I personally think hosts have a wide latitude in what they do. Should guests criticize whether or not a host decorates the house? The types of games chosen? Whether or not they play music? Criticizing what they chose to serve for food is similar. Really, hosting is about having people over and encouraging them to have a good time. For some people, that's music and dancing; for some people that's the effort of having a bunch of kids go nuts in your home; for some people that's about the food. There isn't a "right" way to have a party, just like there isn't a right way to decorate a house. This thread is filled with insanity.

If the party was at a borderline time, I can understand. At 12:30, there should be lunch! Every guest is going to think the host is a bad host.

Anonymous wrote:We are going to a party from 12:30-2 and was told by the host there will be no lunch served. I was steaming. That is lunchtime, my dc will be hungry so I have to carry lunch with me for him. What are thinking.

I really do not understand these kinds of posters. If you feel this way, don't go to the party. Or don't go to this person's parties in the future.

I personally think hosts have a wide latitude in what they do. Should guests criticize whether or not a host decorates the house? The types of games chosen? Whether or not they play music? Criticizing what they chose to serve for food is similar. Really, hosting is about having people over and encouraging them to have a good time. For some people, that's music and dancing; for some people that's the effort of having a bunch of kids go nuts in your home; for some people that's about the food. There isn't a "right" way to have a party, just like there isn't a right way to decorate a house. This thread is filled with insanity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-4 you don't serve a meal. Munches and cake yes, actual meal, no way. And you are never expected to feed adults. Sorry, but you're not. The party is for kids. That's who is invited. If parents want to stay, that's fine, but they can survive 2 hours w/o food and the party is for kids (20?) not 20 kids plus however many adults feel like staying.

That's crazy. I definitely think you need to feed the adults. Especially for non-drop-off parties. The adults have to stay, so they get food. If it's a financial thing, then just do a smaller party or have it at your home?

Exactly. If you can't afford to feed a large group, have a smaller group of people.

I am fine with home parties. My kids love them.