Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate them too. So I don't write them. I figure if a simple verbal "thank you" isn't enough, then the person who is giving the gift is expecting too much.

I give less frequently to people who don't write thank you notes. It takes, what, five minutes a note?

I don't care.

I'm the DH, and I write nearly all of the thank you notes in our family. If I didn't, my wife would never do them. She doesn't see it as important. And that annoys me, so I just do it. I do them for the kids bdays, and for Hanukkah/Xmas, our anniversary, etc. We split them when the kids were born, but now I do probably 95% of all notes. Ladies, your husbands CAN write them. Get with it.

I don't expect thank you notes from others except for wedding and baby gifts. It's appropriate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The rule is, if you thank them in person, no note is required. So let's clear that up.

.

That is absolutely not "the rule". The rule actually is, if someone is kind enough to give you a gift, you take the three minutes it takes to write - even a customized note! - and throw it in the mailbox. I am completely, disastrously unorganized, and my children are not quiet.

And to the OP whose hand cramps up: just buy bigger paper. I'm not sure if you're using those wee tiny little thank you notes from Hallmark, but you don't have to.

11:17, Emily Post disagrees with you:

http://www.emilypost.com/communication-and-technology/notes-and-letters/99-thank-you-notes-to-send-or-not-to-send

And add me to the list of people who think routinely begs new parents not to send thank you notes for my gifts. I think they thank me more for that than for the actual gift.

I read that link to Emily Post and saw her guidelines about the bereaved writing thank you notes for flowers, notes, etc received. I NEVER want the bereaved to have to send me a thank you note! It's nice to know the flowers arrived (and I can often find out myself when I go to the viewing) but I find the grieving process even more difficult than the newborn phase. I would never want to add to the burden of someone who's lost a loved one.

Anyone who sends DD a Christmas gift gets a handwritten (by me for now) thank-you note with a drawing or some stickers added by her. If someone is here for Christmas and we exchange gifts in person, then we don't also exchange thank-you notes - just say thank you in person. I handwrite all notes, but I don't write a long epic on each note, just a couple of sentences.

Add me to the list of ppl who HATE writing thank yous! I don't do them for Xmas and haven't for birthdays except for party guests but now that DC1 can write we do those fill in the blank cards. I do write them for new baby gifts (not that they're timely), baptisms, showers and our wedding presents.

I also don't keep a mental tab of whether or not I get a thank you for a gift I've given.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care to receive them. They go into the recycle bin and make for more waste. Does anyone actually save them (besides the people on "Hoarders")?

I don't save them, but I open them, read them, think to myself "isn't that polite and nice of them" then toss them.

It's hardly and arguement that if someone doesn't save the note then you shouldnt' send it.

I didn't say I don't send them, I said I don't care to receive them. I send them because society requires it of me. But I hate seeing how big our recycle bin is every week- so much waste, and (to me) this is another unnecessary thing to add to the pile. I would be happier with an e-thank you.

Anonymous wrote:I don't care to receive them. They go into the recycle bin and make for more waste. Does anyone actually save them (besides the people on "Hoarders")?

I don't save them, but I open them, read them, think to myself "isn't that polite and nice of them" then toss them.

It's hardly and arguement that if someone doesn't save the note then you shouldnt' send it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, something important to remember: Men can write thank you notes. They really can. So if his dear Aunt Greta is all up in your case about no thank you notes, then it's not your problem, it's his.

Mine can't. He can write government proposals and legal documents, but he is incapable of writing a thank-you note.

Unless HIS ARMS FALL OFF when he is in the same room as stationery, he can write thank you notes. (If his arms in fact do fall off, my apologies for drawing attention to his tragic condition ...)

And as another PP said, I get that Great Aunt Sally asks mom about little Johnny's thank you note; but mom has to say "Oh gee, did Mark not send one? Honey, you really need to make sure we thank people for gifts!"

I don't care to receive them. They go into the recycle bin and make for more waste. Does anyone actually save them (besides the people on "Hoarders")?

Anonymous wrote:I hated writing them as a kid. My mom had to force us. I am glad she did though. I think it is a good lesson for kids---acknowledging thanks and giving appreciation.

We believe there are many ways to teach kids to express thanks and appreciation and writing is not the best way. We only send thank you notes for gifts that we were not able to thank the giver in person. It also lets the giver know it was received. We wouldn't want them to think it was lost in the mail or someone took it.

I don't really care if people are put out by our lack of note-writing. If you feel giving us a gift obligates us to write a note, don't give gifts. I assure you, we won't miss it or you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The rule is, if you thank them in person, no note is required. So let's clear that up.

.

That is absolutely not "the rule". The rule actually is, if someone is kind enough to give you a gift, you take the three minutes it takes to write - even a customized note! - and throw it in the mailbox. I am completely, disastrously unorganized, and my children are not quiet.

And to the OP whose hand cramps up: just buy bigger paper. I'm not sure if you're using those wee tiny little thank you notes from Hallmark, but you don't have to.

11:17, Emily Post disagrees with you:

http://www.emilypost.com/communication-and-technology/notes-and-letters/99-thank-you-notes-to-send-or-not-to-send

And add me to the list of people who think routinely begs new parents not to send thank you notes for my gifts. I think they thank me more for that than for the actual gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you writing thank you cards for Christmas? My mother in law does this and asked DH to and I have never heard of this practice for Christmas? It is a time for giving and I see no point in doing them for Christmas (but do it for most other things) and you are making it way more difficult on yourself. If anything just pick up the phone.

I have never heard of NOT sending thank you notes for gifts whatever time of year they are given. No one owes you a gift. Write a thank-you note. It is called Good Manners.

I guess each family is different. Never wrote or received a Christmas thank you card, especially since such gifts are usually exchanged in person, and people are thanked in person. Thank goodness. To whine about not receiving one is a rich people problem. Feel free to put me on your naughty list next year.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you writing thank you cards for Christmas? My mother in law does this and asked DH to and I have never heard of this practice for Christmas? It is a time for giving and I see no point in doing them for Christmas (but do it for most other things) and you are making it way more difficult on yourself. If anything just pick up the phone.

I have never heard of NOT sending thank you notes for gifts whatever time of year they are given. No one owes you a gift. Write a thank-you note. It is called Good Manners.

OP, I think that manners dictate if you are going through a difficult death or birth, and assuming the giver did not give for bragging/b*tching rights (you'd be surprised!), you are given lenience for time (within a year).

Anyone who has to report your thank you note status to the ILs should be duly noted for karma purposes. Done.

Like PP, we had difficult babies with no help (even though we had local lazy ILs). I dare them to have said something to us.

Anonymous wrote:I hate thank you notes, don't do them, ever.

Thank you email and in person. That's it.

Suck it.

Pretty much my theory too. If you don't want to give me gifts because of it then I am totally okay with that. I don't really want gifts from people who are giving them with strings attached, gifts should be about giving, not getting back. If you need something back in order to be a happy gift giver, then put me on your no gift lift. I don't care about receiving thank you notes. I open then, glance at it for 10 seconds and throw them in the recycling. A waste of time, paper and a stamp.