Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 14:14     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, yes, it's happened to me, though I know I should be more oblivious. Just sometimes "small" things that are upsetting, such as a supposed friend (I do know her from real life, for some time) can go on complimenting/responding/reacting to others on her list (she's got over 300 "friends" on there), but the few times I put up an update, she's not bothered to react. One might say she's too busy, but I have made time for her.


NOt sure if this is your case, but are all your posts about your baby? Because I don't comment on my friends' incessant baby posts if they never post anything else.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 14:04     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ex husband always refused to participate in child-centric activities. If there wasn't beer and football, he was not interested.
The first outing I allowed him and his new GF to take our kids to was a kid's music performance at the Kennedy Center. We were not yet divorced. He had been dating her a few months.
The new GF took pictures of MY children and posted their happy little family outing on FB, tagging my ex (we were still friends) so that when I opened my FB that day, I was greeted by my smiling little ones, on a family outing with HER that he would never have even considered for me.


I just got ill reading this....PP so sorry, I can't imagine how this must have felt.


Thank you for saying that. Sometimes a little validation helps. Honestly when I typed the camping one (see above) I started to cry.



I'm sorry PP. That is really hurtful, I can't imagine. This is going to sound stupid but whenever I see a picture of Giselle Bundchen with Tom Brady's son from his ex-girlfriend, I feel so sad for the ex. I can't imagine opening up a publication and seeing my kid having fun with my ex's new wife.


PP here, I even had to TEACH him how to use the stroller before they left the house! In all the years we'd had at least one child (7 years at that time) he had never had occassion to have to set up the stroller. Can you even imagine!


I think what I find the most hurtful is how he changed so much from you to her. I am projecting, but I would almost want an apology or acknowledgment of that fact. Since you'll probably never hear it from him, I'll say it: its shitty that he never treated you or your time together better. You deserved better.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:53     Subject: Re:Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
I just posted and mentioned we are doing marriage counseling. It definitely seems on FB everyone is super happily married.

Also, I have a friend who is a working mom, runs marathons, makes her kids' birthday cakes and designs favors for their parties that would make Martha Stewart blush, is always doing things like posting the different interior design things she's done to her house (on her own), etc. It's like she seems to have the perfect balance and do everything really, really well.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:49     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ex husband always refused to participate in child-centric activities. If there wasn't beer and football, he was not interested.
The first outing I allowed him and his new GF to take our kids to was a kid's music performance at the Kennedy Center. We were not yet divorced. He had been dating her a few months.
The new GF took pictures of MY children and posted their happy little family outing on FB, tagging my ex (we were still friends) so that when I opened my FB that day, I was greeted by my smiling little ones, on a family outing with HER that he would never have even considered for me.


I just got ill reading this....PP so sorry, I can't imagine how this must have felt.


Thank you for saying that. Sometimes a little validation helps. Honestly when I typed the camping one (see above) I started to cry.


Another PP, I'm also sorry. How awful. As someone who just started marriage counseling because we hope to save our marriage, I've had to face the possibility that down the road we could divorce (I'm really hopeful we won't but I can't help but go there sometimes) and I can't imagine how difficult it would be. A cliche, but so true, that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I hope you remember that and know that things will get better! But I would recommend unfriending this person and your ex!!!
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:46     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
I don't like FB for many of the reasons cited. It is addictive so you just need to step away from the computer and get rid of FB if you don't want hurt feelings.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:43     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:10:25 again. I was always arguably the most enthusiastic camper of our group. I even took survival classes - how to camp, catch your food, survive with basically nothing but some string. I love camping. I often initiated trips. I was a part of our group some 15 years ago when we first discovered our favorite group camp site.
Logged into FB this summer and what is the first photo that pops up: All my former good friends and my former campsite with my ex husband and his new family on a camping trip that nobody even told me about. They even invited some of our friends who do NOT like to camp AT ALL, but who only drove up to spend the day having a few beers and hanging out, and then drove home.


This is the most horrible FB snub I have eever heard of. PP, you have my sympathy. In fact I almost cannot breathe reading this. It is just awful. You Ex should not have posted this. Ok, I am getting really, really upset about this!


Thank you - it wasn't my ex who posted it. My ex was on the camping trip, but it was another friend, a good female friend, who snapped the pic with her cell phone and posted it on FB. I had long since unfriended my ex, believe me.
In a way the fact that it was my female friends who went on this trip and didn't tell me made it WORSE.


ok, omg. Bitches.


Wow, who are these "friends" that they would hang out camping with your ex his new GF and your kids!? . Just a minute, I need to go take off my earrings and put some vaseline on my face; it's time to go beat some bitches down.


PS, and they were friends with him first, and their husbands are good friends with him. But I have been good friends (I thought) with all of them for 20 years.

Just being fair to them, they are his friends too....
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:41     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:10:25 again. I was always arguably the most enthusiastic camper of our group. I even took survival classes - how to camp, catch your food, survive with basically nothing but some string. I love camping. I often initiated trips. I was a part of our group some 15 years ago when we first discovered our favorite group camp site.
Logged into FB this summer and what is the first photo that pops up: All my former good friends and my former campsite with my ex husband and his new family on a camping trip that nobody even told me about. They even invited some of our friends who do NOT like to camp AT ALL, but who only drove up to spend the day having a few beers and hanging out, and then drove home.


This is the most horrible FB snub I have eever heard of. PP, you have my sympathy. In fact I almost cannot breathe reading this. It is just awful. You Ex should not have posted this. Ok, I am getting really, really upset about this!


Thank you - it wasn't my ex who posted it. My ex was on the camping trip, but it was another friend, a good female friend, who snapped the pic with her cell phone and posted it on FB. I had long since unfriended my ex, believe me.
In a way the fact that it was my female friends who went on this trip and didn't tell me made it WORSE.


ok, omg. Bitches.


Wow, who are these "friends" that they would hang out camping with your ex his new GF and your kids!? . Just a minute, I need to go take off my earrings and put some vaseline on my face; it's time to go beat some bitches down.


No; "his new family" refers to his GF and HER kids. My kids were not on that trip.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:39     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:10:25 again. I was always arguably the most enthusiastic camper of our group. I even took survival classes - how to camp, catch your food, survive with basically nothing but some string. I love camping. I often initiated trips. I was a part of our group some 15 years ago when we first discovered our favorite group camp site.
Logged into FB this summer and what is the first photo that pops up: All my former good friends and my former campsite with my ex husband and his new family on a camping trip that nobody even told me about. They even invited some of our friends who do NOT like to camp AT ALL, but who only drove up to spend the day having a few beers and hanging out, and then drove home.


This is the most horrible FB snub I have eever heard of. PP, you have my sympathy. In fact I almost cannot breathe reading this. It is just awful. You Ex should not have posted this. Ok, I am getting really, really upset about this!


Thank you - it wasn't my ex who posted it. My ex was on the camping trip, but it was another friend, a good female friend, who snapped the pic with her cell phone and posted it on FB. I had long since unfriended my ex, believe me.
In a way the fact that it was my female friends who went on this trip and didn't tell me made it WORSE.


ok, omg. Bitches.


Wow, who are these "friends" that they would hang out camping with your ex his new GF and your kids!? . Just a minute, I need to go take off my earrings and put some vaseline on my face; it's time to go beat some bitches down.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:36     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My SIL is a sanctimommy and began posting some stuff that pertained directly to how I raise my children. When I commented, she made it *perfectly clear* that she would not have her views challenged. So, while that didn't exactly hurt my feelings (if she thinks my kids are "damaged" then fuck her) it did culminate in me deciing to unsubscribe from her feed so now I rarely see photos of my nephews. I just cannot stand to read her screeds and

the amen chorus of freaks who seem to always respond.


Ok, I am so going pimp that phrase.



Yes, this happened with my SIL and brother too. Both posted a Facebook link criticizing parents who choose EXACTLY the treatment we have chosen for DD's learning disability. It had to have been an intentional slam and at the very least was passive aggressive. For this and other reasons, I have not spoken to them in over a year.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:34     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:10:25 again. I was always arguably the most enthusiastic camper of our group. I even took survival classes - how to camp, catch your food, survive with basically nothing but some string. I love camping. I often initiated trips. I was a part of our group some 15 years ago when we first discovered our favorite group camp site.
Logged into FB this summer and what is the first photo that pops up: All my former good friends and my former campsite with my ex husband and his new family on a camping trip that nobody even told me about. They even invited some of our friends who do NOT like to camp AT ALL, but who only drove up to spend the day having a few beers and hanging out, and then drove home.


This is the most horrible FB snub I have eever heard of. PP, you have my sympathy. In fact I almost cannot breathe reading this. It is just awful. You Ex should not have posted this. Ok, I am getting really, really upset about this!


Thank you - it wasn't my ex who posted it. My ex was on the camping trip, but it was another friend, a good female friend, who snapped the pic with her cell phone and posted it on FB. I had long since unfriended my ex, believe me.
In a way the fact that it was my female friends who went on this trip and didn't tell me made it WORSE.


ok, omg. Bitches.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:33     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:My SIL is a sanctimommy and began posting some stuff that pertained directly to how I raise my children. When I commented, she made it *perfectly clear* that she would not have her views challenged. So, while that didn't exactly hurt my feelings (if she thinks my kids are "damaged" then fuck her) it did culminate in me deciing to unsubscribe from her feed so now I rarely see photos of my nephews. I just cannot stand to read her screeds and

the amen chorus of freaks who seem to always respond.


Ok, I am so going pimp that phrase.

Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:33     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:10:25 again. I was always arguably the most enthusiastic camper of our group. I even took survival classes - how to camp, catch your food, survive with basically nothing but some string. I love camping. I often initiated trips. I was a part of our group some 15 years ago when we first discovered our favorite group camp site.
Logged into FB this summer and what is the first photo that pops up: All my former good friends and my former campsite with my ex husband and his new family on a camping trip that nobody even told me about. They even invited some of our friends who do NOT like to camp AT ALL, but who only drove up to spend the day having a few beers and hanging out, and then drove home.


This is the most horrible FB snub I have eever heard of. PP, you have my sympathy. In fact I almost cannot breathe reading this. It is just awful. You Ex should not have posted this. Ok, I am getting really, really upset about this!


Thank you - it wasn't my ex who posted it. My ex was on the camping trip, but it was another friend, a good female friend, who snapped the pic with her cell phone and posted it on FB. I had long since unfriended my ex, believe me.
In a way the fact that it was my female friends who went on this trip and didn't tell me made it WORSE.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:29     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My ex husband always refused to participate in child-centric activities. If there wasn't beer and football, he was not interested.
The first outing I allowed him and his new GF to take our kids to was a kid's music performance at the Kennedy Center. We were not yet divorced. He had been dating her a few months.
The new GF took pictures of MY children and posted their happy little family outing on FB, tagging my ex (we were still friends) so that when I opened my FB that day, I was greeted by my smiling little ones, on a family outing with HER that he would never have even considered for me.


I just got ill reading this....PP so sorry, I can't imagine how this must have felt.


Thank you for saying that. Sometimes a little validation helps. Honestly when I typed the camping one (see above) I started to cry.


NP here. *I* almost started to cry reading that. Wow, that must have sucked beyond belief. So sorry. Your ex sounds like a big a*hole.


Another NP. I just wanted to add your Ex is a dick.


Dick move. Micro-dick move.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:26     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
Anonymous wrote:10:25 again. I was always arguably the most enthusiastic camper of our group. I even took survival classes - how to camp, catch your food, survive with basically nothing but some string. I love camping. I often initiated trips. I was a part of our group some 15 years ago when we first discovered our favorite group camp site.
Logged into FB this summer and what is the first photo that pops up: All my former good friends and my former campsite with my ex husband and his new family on a camping trip that nobody even told me about. They even invited some of our friends who do NOT like to camp AT ALL, but who only drove up to spend the day having a few beers and hanging out, and then drove home.


This is the most horrible FB snub I have eever heard of. PP, you have my sympathy. In fact I almost cannot breathe reading this. It is just awful. You Ex should not have posted this. Ok, I am getting really, really upset about this!
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2012 13:16     Subject: Ways Facebook can hurt your feelings
10:25 - that's the worst. That sucked even before FB. I had an ex who refused to do anything with me that didn't involve beer and football, and i found out right after we broke up that he'd gone to a museum event with a female mutual friend. Another ex has now gotten into yoga with his girlfriend, which he never would have done with me. it's annoying. You feel like "if he liked me enough, he would have done X with me." In reality, he probably realized he'd screwed up by not participating with you, so he's making more effort with the new GF.