Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get this, and I used to do the same, but it goes both ways. It would get increasingly frustrating when my friends would leave temptations within my child's reach and continue to watch me struggle to constantly get him to keep his hands off. At some point, if my friend does nothing to remove her purse or bag or whatever, I take that to mean that she doesn't care that my son is pulling her things out and I let him be. I'll take the item away and say "no" if, after I do it once or twice, you remove your bag from his reach. Otherwise, it's fair game. Now he's 5 and it's a whole other ballgame. It's my (and his) responsibility to keep his hands off other people's property. But when he was a toddler, I expected my friends to protect their property as much as I did.

No. It is your responsibility to manage your child. If you cannot manage your child, then you can ask me to take whatever items I have out of your child's reach and I can comply or otherwise take responsibility for those items. But you have the first and foremost responsibility to either keep an eye/hand on your child and if you cannot keep them from taking/touching someone else's things, to remove your child from the temptations.

In this case it was especially egregious because there were four adults for two toddlers. I understand toddlers can get into everything, but why was OP's DH the only one to notice that the friends' toddler was getting into the diaper bag and at the keys? If he was busy wrangling OP's difficult child, who was watching the other toddler? I can understand the problem when the children outnumber the caregivers, but when the parents outnumber the children 2:1, then there should be at least one parent per child monitoring.

Yes, it's my responsibility to manage my child, but if you and I are sitting there - and my kid constantly is reaching in your open bag - and I am constantly pulling him away - and you are constantly ignoring it and leaving your bag there - then at some point it's your responsibility to watch your own stuff. It's similar to if you're on the metro (or some other public place) and you leave your purse and wallet open and on an empty seat near you and you aren't watching it - and someone steals your money - you are to blame for not closely watching your stuff.

I'm not saying I'm not managing my kid - because I am - but after several attempts with you not even making an effort to protect your own stuff - I'm done protecting it too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get this, and I used to do the same, but it goes both ways. It would get increasingly frustrating when my friends would leave temptations within my child's reach and continue to watch me struggle to constantly get him to keep his hands off. At some point, if my friend does nothing to remove her purse or bag or whatever, I take that to mean that she doesn't care that my son is pulling her things out and I let him be. I'll take the item away and say "no" if, after I do it once or twice, you remove your bag from his reach. Otherwise, it's fair game. Now he's 5 and it's a whole other ballgame. It's my (and his) responsibility to keep his hands off other people's property. But when he was a toddler, I expected my friends to protect their property as much as I did.

No. It is your responsibility to manage your child. If you cannot manage your child, then you can ask me to take whatever items I have out of your child's reach and I can comply or otherwise take responsibility for those items. But you have the first and foremost responsibility to either keep an eye/hand on your child and if you cannot keep them from taking/touching someone else's things, to remove your child from the temptations.

In this case it was especially egregious because there were four adults for two toddlers. I understand toddlers can get into everything, but why was OP's DH the only one to notice that the friends' toddler was getting into the diaper bag and at the keys? If he was busy wrangling OP's difficult child, who was watching the other toddler? I can understand the problem when the children outnumber the caregivers, but when the parents outnumber the children 2:1, then there should be at least one parent per child monitoring.

Yes, it's my responsibility to manage my child, but if you and I are sitting there - and my kid constantly is reaching in your open bag - and I am constantly pulling him away - and you are constantly ignoring it and leaving your bag there - then at some point it's your responsibility to watch your own stuff. It's similar to if you're on the metro (or some other public place) and you leave your purse and wallet open and on an empty seat near you and you aren't watching it - and someone steals your money - you are to blame for not closely watching your stuff.

I'm not saying I'm not managing my kid - because I am - but after several attempts with you not even making an effort to protect your own stuff - I'm done protecting it too.

Anonymous wrote:So did you try going back to the park? Your keys are almost certainly sitting either (a) exactly where they fell or (b) hanging off a post or tree very close by where someone put them so you'd find them.

Keys don't just evaporate. Go back and get them.

Anonymous wrote:To clarify, my friend saw her toddler with the keys AFTER DH did. So he wasn't the last adult to see her with them.

Also, DH didn't take them from her at the time because he was chasing after our own toddler who was running toward a ledge nearby. So because DH was watching both and they weren't watching even just their own, we're on the hook?

I definitely agree that DH should have done more and I'm annoyed that he didn't. But I also feel like the toddler's parents should have done more -- I mean, in the end, we're responsible for our kids. Second, what really annoys me is that the parents seem completely unwilling to entertain even the possibility that the keys might be lost because their kid was playing with them, and therefore, they have any responsibility for the fact that they're lost.

Replacing them is going to cost literally hundreds of dollars.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get this, and I used to do the same, but it goes both ways. It would get increasingly frustrating when my friends would leave temptations within my child's reach and continue to watch me struggle to constantly get him to keep his hands off. At some point, if my friend does nothing to remove her purse or bag or whatever, I take that to mean that she doesn't care that my son is pulling her things out and I let him be. I'll take the item away and say "no" if, after I do it once or twice, you remove your bag from his reach. Otherwise, it's fair game. Now he's 5 and it's a whole other ballgame. It's my (and his) responsibility to keep his hands off other people's property. But when he was a toddler, I expected my friends to protect their property as much as I did.

No. It is your responsibility to manage your child. If you cannot manage your child, then you can ask me to take whatever items I have out of your child's reach and I can comply or otherwise take responsibility for those items. But you have the first and foremost responsibility to either keep an eye/hand on your child and if you cannot keep them from taking/touching someone else's things, to remove your child from the temptations.

In this case it was especially egregious because there were four adults for two toddlers. I understand toddlers can get into everything, but why was OP's DH the only one to notice that the friends' toddler was getting into the diaper bag and at the keys? If he was busy wrangling OP's difficult child, who was watching the other toddler? I can understand the problem when the children outnumber the caregivers, but when the parents outnumber the children 2:1, then there should be at least one parent per child monitoring.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get this, and I used to do the same, but it goes both ways. It would get increasingly frustrating when my friends would leave temptations within my child's reach and continue to watch me struggle to constantly get him to keep his hands off. At some point, if my friend does nothing to remove her purse or bag or whatever, I take that to mean that she doesn't care that my son is pulling her things out and I let him be. I'll take the item away and say "no" if, after I do it once or twice, you remove your bag from his reach. Otherwise, it's fair game. Now he's 5 and it's a whole other ballgame. It's my (and his) responsibility to keep his hands off other people's property. But when he was a toddler, I expected my friends to protect their property as much as I did.

No. It is your responsibility to manage your child. If you cannot manage your child, then you can ask me to take whatever items I have out of your child's reach and I can comply or otherwise take responsibility for those items. But you have the first and foremost responsibility to either keep an eye/hand on your child and if you cannot keep them from taking/touching someone else's things, to remove your child from the temptations.

In this case it was especially egregious because there were four adults for two toddlers. I understand toddlers can get into everything, but why was OP's DH the only one to notice that the friends' toddler was getting into the diaper bag and at the keys? If he was busy wrangling OP's difficult child, who was watching the other toddler? I can understand the problem when the children outnumber the caregivers, but when the parents outnumber the children 2:1, then there should be at least one parent per child monitoring.

Anonymous wrote:It's circumstantial evidence to accuse your friends' toddler of taking your keys.

I'm surprised your friend isn't pissed at you for the accusation. And she certainly has no obligation to help you look for them at the park tomorrow.

I'd be more annoyed at your DH for not following through that the keys were put back since he was the last one to see them and he should've followed through with making sure the keys were put back.

Anonymous wrote:
I get this, and I used to do the same, but it goes both ways. It would get increasingly frustrating when my friends would leave temptations within my child's reach and continue to watch me struggle to constantly get him to keep his hands off. At some point, if my friend does nothing to remove her purse or bag or whatever, I take that to mean that she doesn't care that my son is pulling her things out and I let him be. I'll take the item away and say "no" if, after I do it once or twice, you remove your bag from his reach. Otherwise, it's fair game. Now he's 5 and it's a whole other ballgame. It's my (and his) responsibility to keep his hands off other people's property. But when he was a toddler, I expected my friends to protect their property as much as I did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I agree you have to take better care of your things and put things out of reach of little children, it seems to me it is also the toddler's parents. I have a toddler (almost 2y) and if she was touching other's people stuff I would take it away from her, give it back or put it back and apologize. And every time she went back for it I would say "no" and remove her if posible. If it was friend's things I old ask them to put it out of reach, but ultimately, the responsibility to make sure my child didn't touch other's belongings it's mine. That is not hypothetical - intuitions like that have happened many times in the past year.

I get this, and I used to do the same, but it goes both ways. It would get increasingly frustrating when my friends would leave temptations within my child's reach and continue to watch me struggle to constantly get him to keep his hands off. At some point, if my friend does nothing to remove her purse or bag or whatever, I take that to mean that she doesn't care that my son is pulling her things out and I let him be. I'll take the item away and say "no" if, after I do it once or twice, you remove your bag from his reach. Otherwise, it's fair game. Now he's 5 and it's a whole other ballgame. It's my (and his) responsibility to keep his hands off other people's property. But when he was a toddler, I expected my friends to protect their property as much as I did.

And, OP, why was your DH doing all the kid-watching? Where were you and the toddler's parents through all this?