Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of surprised by all the negativity on this thread. While I don't really like this idea unless it is the child's idea, if it is the child's idea I think it's lovely. It's a nice way to teach kids to be generous. Just because donating food to a food bank doesn't solve world hunger doesn't mean it's better to do nothing. Just because those donating may be well off doesn't mean it's better to do nothing.

But it's not polite to tell your party guests what they need to or should not bring. It's never okay. Etiquette wise it's not even appropriate to put on the invitation not to bring a gift. If a guest inquires you can say that their presence is the only gift you'd want but otherwise it's not polite to give guests instructions.

If OP wants a teaching moment she should have her daughter organize a food drive, fund raising event, donate her own time. Doing a b-day party and asking for food donations really is not teaching her much. She'll feel "good" about giving when she actually didn't do any giving herself.

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of surprised by all the negativity on this thread. While I don't really like this idea unless it is the child's idea, if it is the child's idea I think it's lovely. It's a nice way to teach kids to be generous. Just because donating food to a food bank doesn't solve world hunger doesn't mean it's better to do nothing. Just because those donating may be well off doesn't mean it's better to do nothing.

Anonymous wrote:You received an invite. Go, or don't go. Your choice. But whichever you choose, be gracious and not a gossip.

We have a party every year centered around my daughter and the families she knows. We get maybe eighty people with neighbors, kids, and adults. Everyone loves it. (or maybe some don't, but they don't come)

Anonymous wrote:I'm kind of surprised by all the negativity on this thread. While I don't really like this idea unless it is the child's idea, if it is the child's idea I think it's lovely. It's a nice way to teach kids to be generous. Just because donating food to a food bank doesn't solve world hunger doesn't mean it's better to do nothing. Just because those donating may be well off doesn't mean it's better to do nothing.

So, would a "no gifts" party be better than this model?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has the added bonus of teaching all the guests and their families how important it is to think of others and to help feed the poor.

That's why I don't like the idea. It smacks of a presumption that your family is so wonderfully thoughtful that you need to teach all us selfish jerks how to feed the poor. Never mind that a food bank would be much better off if the hosts skipped the party and donated equivalent money to a food bank, that wouldn't give them the opportunity to show off their goodness to everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:It has the added bonus of teaching all the guests and their families how important it is to think of others and to help feed the poor.

You think it's "cool" to go to a child's birthday party and be asked to write a check to a specific charity and place it in a shoebox?! I would be horrified.


I don't understand posts like this. Horrifying? Really? What exactly is horrifying about helping kids learn about charitable giving?

Anonymous wrote:Technically, you are not supposed to mention gifts on an invitation. BUT, I do think this is a nice idea.

And even if the cynics are right and the parents pushed the kid that way - imagine the joy the birthday girl is going to get from completing this donation. That's a lesson that will stay with her all of her life. The joy of giving to others in need. I think it's wonderful.