Anonymous wrote:So, if it's ALL about context, is it okay if you're using the term 'chocolate' affectionately?

Sure! Just as long as you dehumanize whomever you're referring to.

After all, the only relevant part of the "context" is your internal motivation, right?

Anonymous wrote:I want the coach of the Steelers to come to coach our hapless Redskins. That is all.

To help the Redskins, first, you have to get rid of Dan Snyder, preferably ship him to Mars for a few eons.

FWIW, I'm white. What is it about white folks getting all angry that they can't say "chocolate" or use the "n-word" just because they heard Chris Rock use it in a show? Can't some of you PPs get it through your head that whites used all kinds of pejorative, racist, baseless terms to describe blacks over the years and that some folks may, understandably, be sensitive to language and its usage? What is the BFD in saying AA instead of chocolate? Are you really all so frigging clueless? What is this whining about "well, if the mayor said it, well, so can I!" Whatever. Are you all really so juvenile? Is this how you raise your children?

All folks should talk about and deal with race. But you don't need to be racist to do that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was the (black) mayor of New Orleans who referred to it as a chocolate city. Then at that White House press dinner Stephen Colbert mockingly said, "Welcome DC, chocolate city with a marshmallow center."

Sorry, but that's definitely a double standard. If a mayor can publicly call his city a 'chocolate' city, then it should be okay for anyone to use the term.

No one here is saying you can't say "chocolate city". I'm black and I'm okay with that.......BUT, don't call me chocolate. Unless, of course, you're cool with random black people calling you vanilla. Are you?

I agree with the PP who says Who Cares? I'm not white, so it'd be pretty weird for someone to call me vanilla anyway, but I wouldn't care.

What about 'butter pecan rican'. Do you consider that offensive also?

Chocolate/Vanilla/Butter Pecan are all (tasty) ice cream flavors, as far as I'm concerned. And, they call to mind a certain color. There's is nothing offensive about them. Why would you automatically assume that 'chocolate' has a negative connotation?

To the PP who would prefer the term 'black'. Really? Is your skin actually black? More likely that it's a shade of brown.

THIS!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white and I would assume someone calling me vanilla would mean that I'm kind of generic or standard. I wouldn't be particularly offended by it b/c I am pretty much vanilla.

I haven't called a black person chocolate, but I could imagine myself using that term in a figurative way to describe a population that is mostly dark-skinned. It wouldn't seem like an insult, just describing a difference in color. In fact, I almost would take it or mean it as a sweet or pleasant description of color b/c everyone loves chocolate and it has a very positive connotation to me.

"chocolate" is not the same as saying "blackie" or "whitey." Any word can be used pejoritively, but I wouldn't assume that about "chocolate."

See, here's the thing. You don't get to decide that. You don't get to decide for someone else what's offensive to them.

Great, so if someone calls you 'chocolate' tell that person that you'd prefer to be called something else, and move on. Of course you have the right to find anything and everything offensive. But, pretty much any word can be made offensive in any context, maybe depending on tone of voice.

You also don't get to decide for everyone else what is offensive and non-offensive.

I wasn't. But someone who is white simply cannot say that calling someone chocolate is not the same as blackie. If someone who is Black tells me they're offended by it, done. If someone who is Black tells me they're not offended by it, done. I don't get to decide that for them. See the difference?

of course you can. as the speaker, you decide what you are comfortable saying. the listener also decides. it is a two-way street.

You are way missing the point, but it's not worth it.

no, I understand your misguided point. But we live in one society, not a group of 300 million separate societies. So if one individual decides it is offensive to review to him as "Michael Smith", it doesn't mean the other 300MM have to agree. A consensus has to be reached.

Speaking of chocolate, used in regard to dating a white guy or gal, I have heard the term "playing in the snow".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white and I would assume someone calling me vanilla would mean that I'm kind of generic or standard. I wouldn't be particularly offended by it b/c I am pretty much vanilla.

I haven't called a black person chocolate, but I could imagine myself using that term in a figurative way to describe a population that is mostly dark-skinned. It wouldn't seem like an insult, just describing a difference in color. In fact, I almost would take it or mean it as a sweet or pleasant description of color b/c everyone loves chocolate and it has a very positive connotation to me.

"chocolate" is not the same as saying "blackie" or "whitey." Any word can be used pejoritively, but I wouldn't assume that about "chocolate."

See, here's the thing. You don't get to decide that. You don't get to decide for someone else what's offensive to them.

Great, so if someone calls you 'chocolate' tell that person that you'd prefer to be called something else, and move on. Of course you have the right to find anything and everything offensive. But, pretty much any word can be made offensive in any context, maybe depending on tone of voice.

You also don't get to decide for everyone else what is offensive and non-offensive.

I wasn't. But someone who is white simply cannot say that calling someone chocolate is not the same as blackie. If someone who is Black tells me they're offended by it, done. If someone who is Black tells me they're not offended by it, done. I don't get to decide that for them. See the difference?

of course you can. as the speaker, you decide what you are comfortable saying. the listener also decides. it is a two-way street.

You are way missing the point, but it's not worth it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white and I would assume someone calling me vanilla would mean that I'm kind of generic or standard. I wouldn't be particularly offended by it b/c I am pretty much vanilla.

I haven't called a black person chocolate, but I could imagine myself using that term in a figurative way to describe a population that is mostly dark-skinned. It wouldn't seem like an insult, just describing a difference in color. In fact, I almost would take it or mean it as a sweet or pleasant description of color b/c everyone loves chocolate and it has a very positive connotation to me.

"chocolate" is not the same as saying "blackie" or "whitey." Any word can be used pejoritively, but I wouldn't assume that about "chocolate."

See, here's the thing. You don't get to decide that. You don't get to decide for someone else what's offensive to them.

Great, so if someone calls you 'chocolate' tell that person that you'd prefer to be called something else, and move on. Of course you have the right to find anything and everything offensive. But, pretty much any word can be made offensive in any context, maybe depending on tone of voice.

You also don't get to decide for everyone else what is offensive and non-offensive.

I wasn't. But someone who is white simply cannot say that calling someone chocolate is not the same as blackie. If someone who is Black tells me they're offended by it, done. If someone who is Black tells me they're not offended by it, done. I don't get to decide that for them. See the difference?

of course you can. as the speaker, you decide what you are comfortable saying. the listener also decides. it is a two-way street.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white and I would assume someone calling me vanilla would mean that I'm kind of generic or standard. I wouldn't be particularly offended by it b/c I am pretty much vanilla.

I haven't called a black person chocolate, but I could imagine myself using that term in a figurative way to describe a population that is mostly dark-skinned. It wouldn't seem like an insult, just describing a difference in color. In fact, I almost would take it or mean it as a sweet or pleasant description of color b/c everyone loves chocolate and it has a very positive connotation to me.

"chocolate" is not the same as saying "blackie" or "whitey." Any word can be used pejoritively, but I wouldn't assume that about "chocolate."

See, here's the thing. You don't get to decide that. You don't get to decide for someone else what's offensive to them.

Great, so if someone calls you 'chocolate' tell that person that you'd prefer to be called something else, and move on. Of course you have the right to find anything and everything offensive. But, pretty much any word can be made offensive in any context, maybe depending on tone of voice.

You also don't get to decide for everyone else what is offensive and non-offensive.

I wasn't. But someone who is white simply cannot say that calling someone chocolate is not the same as blackie. If someone who is Black tells me they're offended by it, done. If someone who is Black tells me they're not offended by it, done. I don't get to decide that for them. See the difference?

Anonymous wrote: It wouldn't seem like an insult, just describing a difference in color. In fact, I almost would take it or mean it as a sweet or pleasant description of color b/c everyone loves chocolate and it has a very positive connotation to me.

I agree with this. On what planet does 'chocolate' have a negative connotation? I love chocolate. My DH is white, and he'd love it if I walked around calling him my 'white chocolate'. Don't assume everything is an insult. Sometimes it's just a description, without a value judgement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm white and I would assume someone calling me vanilla would mean that I'm kind of generic or standard. I wouldn't be particularly offended by it b/c I am pretty much vanilla.

I haven't called a black person chocolate, but I could imagine myself using that term in a figurative way to describe a population that is mostly dark-skinned. It wouldn't seem like an insult, just describing a difference in color. In fact, I almost would take it or mean it as a sweet or pleasant description of color b/c everyone loves chocolate and it has a very positive connotation to me.

"chocolate" is not the same as saying "blackie" or "whitey." Any word can be used pejoritively, but I wouldn't assume that about "chocolate."

See, here's the thing. You don't get to decide that. You don't get to decide for someone else what's offensive to them.

Great, so if someone calls you 'chocolate' tell that person that you'd prefer to be called something else, and move on. Of course you have the right to find anything and everything offensive. But, pretty much any word can be made offensive in any context, maybe depending on tone of voice.

You also don't get to decide for everyone else what is offensive and non-offensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was the (black) mayor of New Orleans who referred to it as a chocolate city. Then at that White House press dinner Stephen Colbert mockingly said, "Welcome DC, chocolate city with a marshmallow center."

Sorry, but that's definitely a double standard. If a mayor can publicly call his city a 'chocolate' city, then it should be okay for anyone to use the term.

No one here is saying you can't say "chocolate city". I'm black and I'm okay with that.......BUT, don't call me chocolate. Unless, of course, you're cool with random black people calling you vanilla. Are you?

I agree with the PP who says Who Cares? I'm not white, so it'd be pretty weird for someone to call me vanilla anyway, but I wouldn't care.

What about 'butter pecan rican'. Do you consider that offensive also?

Chocolate/Vanilla/Butter Pecan are all (tasty) ice cream flavors, as far as I'm concerned. And, they call to mind a certain color. There's is nothing offensive about them. Why would you automatically assume that 'chocolate' has a negative connotation?

To the PP who would prefer the term 'black'. Really? Is your skin actually black? More likely that it's a shade of brown.

Anonymous wrote:I'm white and I would assume someone calling me vanilla would mean that I'm kind of generic or standard. I wouldn't be particularly offended by it b/c I am pretty much vanilla.

I haven't called a black person chocolate, but I could imagine myself using that term in a figurative way to describe a population that is mostly dark-skinned. It wouldn't seem like an insult, just describing a difference in color. In fact, I almost would take it or mean it as a sweet or pleasant description of color b/c everyone loves chocolate and it has a very positive connotation to me.

"chocolate" is not the same as saying "blackie" or "whitey." Any word can be used pejoritively, but I wouldn't assume that about "chocolate."

See, here's the thing. You don't get to decide that. You don't get to decide for someone else what's offensive to them.

I'm white and I would assume someone calling me vanilla would mean that I'm kind of generic or standard. I wouldn't be particularly offended by it b/c I am pretty much vanilla.

I haven't called a black person chocolate, but I could imagine myself using that term in a figurative way to describe a population that is mostly dark-skinned. It wouldn't seem like an insult, just describing a difference in color. In fact, I almost would take it or mean it as a sweet or pleasant description of color b/c everyone loves chocolate and it has a very positive connotation to me.

"chocolate" is not the same as saying "blackie" or "whitey." Any word can be used pejoritively, but I wouldn't assume that about "chocolate."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was the (black) mayor of New Orleans who referred to it as a chocolate city. Then at that White House press dinner Stephen Colbert mockingly said, "Welcome DC, chocolate city with a marshmallow center."

Sorry, but that's definitely a double standard. If a mayor can publicly call his city a 'chocolate' city, then it should be okay for anyone to use the term.

No one here is saying you can't say "chocolate city". I'm black and I'm okay with that.......BUT, don't call me chocolate. Unless, of course, you're cool with random black people calling you vanilla. Are you?

why would anyone care? sticks and stones and all that. and more to the point, is chocolate or vanilla really an insult? I assume they were compliments. Like the Ricky whatever song where he talks about the girl whose skin is the color mocha ....

what is the word for pretty white skin? is it alabaster?