The most uncomfortable thing to me would be the fact that you have to see this guy constantly whether you want to or not. It seems like it would be easy enough to say "no" if he asks you to lunch. If he's persistent, it seems like you could just lay it out a little clearer that you are married, busy, etc and don't have time to meet.

One thing that I would suggest is that you not make him angry or set up a situation that makes it more uncomfortable. Speaking for myself, it is more comfortable to make a short comment or two to a person that I see every day. If you try to ignore him, that might not be fun either when you're alone with him on the elevator or wherever. I would strive for politely getting the message across if it comes up and tryi to keep a sustainable situation since you don't want to dread every time you see this guy.

Keep in mind that we live in a really weird culture where everyone has different ideas about how to act. In some environments in the metro area, it would be normal to start conversations with people after seeing them just a couple of times and maybe ask them out to lunch. In others, I am amazed how isolated people are in their profession. Some people never get out and and don't know anyone in their field or related fields unless they have worked with them.

I am also amazed at the lack of social skills that so many people have and how easily freaked out they are about the possibility of interacting with others. You should see the looks on strangers faces when I talk to them sometimes as if they just don't know how to handle it. Others take it naturally and get a good conversation going. Best of luck!

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, this is all in your head. You probably have the hots for him and don't want to face it. It's ok, you're married, not dead! As long as you aren't acting on it. If he does happen to ask you out, you just say you're married.

Agree.

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Excuse me? I am the OP. Someone else posting saying they were me and that they had made plans to meet up with the man for coffee. That person was a troll. I am most certainly NOT interested in developing a friendship with this man. I have every intention of mentioning my husband and children. I can't believe some idiot had the nerve to hijack my own thread!

This poster is posting from Massachusetts and has been posting from Massachusetts for a while. The OP has been posting from the DC area. I'll leave any conclusions to others.

Thank you, Jeff!

Anonymous wrote:Excuse me? I am the OP. Someone else posting saying they were me and that they had made plans to meet up with the man for coffee. That person was a troll. I am most certainly NOT interested in developing a friendship with this man. I have every intention of mentioning my husband and children. I can't believe some idiot had the nerve to hijack my own thread!

This poster is posting from Massachusetts and has been posting from Massachusetts for a while. The OP has been posting from the DC area. I'll leave any conclusions to others.

Excuse me? I am the OP. Someone else posting saying they were me and that they had made plans to meet up with the man for coffee. That person was a troll. I am most certainly NOT interested in developing a friendship with this man. I have every intention of mentioning my husband and children. I can't believe some idiot had the nerve to hijack my own thread!

OK . . . this is strange. I am the OP, and the above post did certainly not come from me. Someone out there is loony toons . . .

Anyway! Met with him for coffee. We had a blast. I mentioned my husband and kids, and he diffused the strangeness by making a joke of how crushed he was that I was taken. Asked if I had any hot friends, so that PP was correct! It was fun getting to know someone new, and we'll probably do it again next week.

OP, If I were you I would just enjoy the flirting. If you never plan to be alone with this man what's the difference? He knows you are married but has a slight crush on you anyway. Good for him, great for you. My DH laughs at my transparent attempts to make him jealous with these situations. But it invigorates me and makes me happy.

The troll was probably an attention whore, like you OP.