Anonymous wrote:You're both fucking idiots, then. You'd divorce someone for not giving a blowjob?
And what about her needs? If she has told you that she doesn't like it or simply changed her mind she must go on with it b/c you can't live with regular sex?

If you have an otherwise good marriage and partnership and this is truly just about not getting a BJ then, yes, you're an idiot.

It not about just not getting a BJ.

It's about if you lied to me about this one thing, then what lese have you lied to me about. Or also if you were willing to do something that you hated to manipulate me into marraige, then what else are you capable of. That is not the basis of a good marriage.

No sex trouble here but his number is 2 (including me) and my number is um....in the 20s. So, he thinks it is around 8 or so. I actually forget the number I told him. lol

I'm sure he suspects there are more but it really doesn't matter. That conversation came up around year 2 of our relationship, was a little awkward, and then has been forgotten for the next 5 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally underplayed my "number." Never was asked outright, so never lied, but DH would have a conniption if he knew my real number.

This was discussed on another thread, but ridiculous that a man or woman would ever care. If you love someone enough to marry them, it is because of how you are now and what the future holds. And why should the DH be the one who gets bent out of shape? Like he never did anything before he met you?

His number is waaaay lower than mine, and it would make him insecure if he knew my number. We've had a lot of sexual trouble in our marriage because I'm more experienced than he is, and I don't want to emphasize it.

Can I ask you a question? I am a DH with a much lower number than my wife (she asked, I didn't) and I think that is usually the case because it is much easier for women to find sex. But I had three serious girlfriends before I met her so if you count the actual number of times I have had sex vs. the number of partners, I have more experience.

OK, away from the numbers suppose I had almost no experience when we met, I would expect that my wife and I, who love each other would figure out how to make our sex lives great by experimenting and being open with each other. I do not know you or your husband, but it is really sad that you have had a lot of sexual trouble. Not to sermonize but if you love each other and have a family, I hope both of you find the root cause of the problems and correct them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told DH that I liked outdoors-y things. Ugh. Have never lived it down. DH would live in a tent in the middle of Dupont Circle and cook his dinner over a campfire every night if you'd let him. I have a 2-day expiration date where any sort of camping is concerned.

And I hate biking.

And running.

And pretty much anything that requires physical activity.

Siiigh.

WTF? Is he unhappy now that you won't do those things with him? Why try to make it work with someone who wants things you don't want?

Because you're 35 and you want kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally underplayed my "number." Never was asked outright, so never lied, but DH would have a conniption if he knew my real number.

This was discussed on another thread, but ridiculous that a man or woman would ever care. If you love someone enough to marry them, it is because of how you are now and what the future holds. And why should the DH be the one who gets bent out of shape? Like he never did anything before he met you?

His number is waaaay lower than mine, and it would make him insecure if he knew my number. We've had a lot of sexual trouble in our marriage because I'm more experienced than he is, and I don't want to emphasize it.

Electricity inventor here. It was both kinds, cause I'm just awesome like that.

I'm assuming the friends who no longer want to give blowjobs aren't the sort that'll shove their GF's head on his pole and say all sorts of things that only work in porn and/or with girls who have daddy issues.

But yeah, 23:51 has it spot on.

Anonymous wrote:I am not good enough at keeping a secret to embellish or lie to DH. He would have caught me out.

But I do have a few friends who talk about how they can't wait to get married so they can stop giving BJs.

And later they end up in the Relationship Forum complaining about how their husbands don't have sex with them or watch porn. Remember ladies, you get hornier with age, and men have already peaked by the time you marry them. And it's not like kids make things any easier.

If I were you I would tell your friends that their master plan should not include making sex more boring after they tie the knot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, your needs.

That's right. I am a partner who is very aware of what she needs in bed and generally tries to accommodate her desires to explore, try new things, and be satisfied. Shouldn't I be treated the same way?

Maybe try sex with a man. You will probably play for the other team and never come back. Just sayin'.

Sounds like someone with knowledge of switching teams wrote this.

Once you go there you never come back except as bi. Ask guys who have done time in prison.

Really, you know a lot of them, or you watched Oz on HBO a lot?

omg. The one where he bites it off? That's what you get, prison man-lady.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, your needs.

That's right. I am a partner who is very aware of what she needs in bed and generally tries to accommodate her desires to explore, try new things, and be satisfied. Shouldn't I be treated the same way?

Maybe try sex with a man. You will probably play for the other team and never come back. Just sayin'.

Sounds like someone with knowledge of switching teams wrote this.

Once you go there you never come back except as bi. Ask guys who have done time in prison.

Really, you know a lot of them, or you watched Oz on HBO a lot?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, your needs.

That's right. I am a partner who is very aware of what she needs in bed and generally tries to accommodate her desires to explore, try new things, and be satisfied. Shouldn't I be treated the same way?

Maybe try sex with a man. You will probably play for the other team and never come back. Just sayin'.

Sounds like someone with knowledge of switching teams wrote this.

Once you go there you never come back except as bi. Ask guys who have done time in prison.

But that's prison not everyday people.

Ok, this exchange is horrifying.

I pretend to enjoy the ball area.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally underplayed my "number." Never was asked outright, so never lied, but DH would have a conniption if he knew my real number.

I'm sorry, but I don't get this. Please explain.

This is so stupid. Everyone has a life before their spouse came along.

Just an FYI: I am not the pp, but not everyone has that kind of life before marriage. That's a generalization. Sure, probably most, but not all. I'm happily saving sex for my future husband and that's no lie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, your needs.

That's right. I am a partner who is very aware of what she needs in bed and generally tries to accommodate her desires to explore, try new things, and be satisfied. Shouldn't I be treated the same way?

Maybe try sex with a man. You will probably play for the other team and never come back. Just sayin'.

Sounds like someone with knowledge of switching teams wrote this.

Once you go there you never come back except as bi. Ask guys who have done time in prison.

But that's prison not everyday people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, your needs.

That's right. I am a partner who is very aware of what she needs in bed and generally tries to accommodate her desires to explore, try new things, and be satisfied. Shouldn't I be treated the same way?

Maybe try sex with a man. You will probably play for the other team and never come back. Just sayin'.

Sounds like someone with knowledge of switching teams wrote this.

Once you go there you never come back except as bi. Ask guys who have done time in prison.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, your needs.

That's right. I am a partner who is very aware of what she needs in bed and generally tries to accommodate her desires to explore, try new things, and be satisfied. Shouldn't I be treated the same way?

Maybe try sex with a man. You will probably play for the other team and never come back. Just sayin'.

Sounds like someone with knowledge of switching teams wrote this.