Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone criticizes large families, calls women "breeders", etc, it's almost always older Moms. They're bitter and pissed that they started their families late, so they think folks with 3+ children are just spitting out babies for the hell of it.

I am one of those older women with ONLY two kids, and yes, I wish that I had 10 kids. Seriously, I would trade my MD for eight more kids. I NEVER criticize women with large families, as a matter of fact, I have told my patients who are on their 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th kids that I am proud of them.

Proud of them for what, exactly? Giving birth doesn't make you a hero.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone criticizes large families, calls women "breeders", etc, it's almost always older Moms. They're bitter and pissed that they started their families late, so they think folks with 3+ children are just spitting out babies for the hell of it.

older mom with 2 young kids, married late in life

didn't plan either one - So I'm sure, with MY fertility record, I could have had a few more. The thought was NOT appealing to me.

People have children for selfish reasons. You wish to carry on a name, for example. How many men try so hard for that boy? My uncle did, and 5 girls later . . . Poor fool didn't understand this his Y was in hiding. You feel unfulfilled as a woman. Your professional life didn't turn out the way you planned. So you fill your time with making babies.

all for selfish reasons

Now, those who adopt SN kids are in a different category. But I'm fairly certain that these parents aren't adopting them in groups of 10.

So am I bitter? hell no! I love my 2. They're happy, receive individual attention, and participate in activities, and attend private school b/c we're financially stable.

Don't make assumptions, PP. You're the one who sounds bitter. Reread your post. If you come from a large family or have one yourself and were actually PLEASED with your situation, you wouldn't have posted what you did?

What happened? Didn't you cook a turkey large enough to feed a family of 10+?

And there's the snark! Knew you couldn't resist. Perhaps you should practice what you preach?

I do. I am a mother of two. In the past, when friends asked me whether they should have 3 (or 4), I've always said no.

And if I'm snarky, so be it. But I am tired of people putting down "older" moms.

Now if you'll excuse me, poster, my husband and I will be putting our two young children to bed - 1 parent per kid . . . makes the evening so much more enjoyable!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone criticizes large families, calls women "breeders", etc, it's almost always older Moms. They're bitter and pissed that they started their families late, so they think folks with 3+ children are just spitting out babies for the hell of it.

older mom with 2 young kids, married late in life

didn't plan either one - So I'm sure, with MY fertility record, I could have had a few more. The thought was NOT appealing to me.

People have children for selfish reasons. You wish to carry on a name, for example. How many men try so hard for that boy? My uncle did, and 5 girls later . . . Poor fool didn't understand this his Y was in hiding. You feel unfulfilled as a woman. Your professional life didn't turn out the way you planned. So you fill your time with making babies.

all for selfish reasons

Now, those who adopt SN kids are in a different category. But I'm fairly certain that these parents aren't adopting them in groups of 10.

So am I bitter? hell no! I love my 2. They're happy, receive individual attention, and participate in activities, and attend private school b/c we're financially stable.

Don't make assumptions, PP. You're the one who sounds bitter. Reread your post. If you come from a large family or have one yourself and were actually PLEASED with your situation, you wouldn't have posted what you did?

What happened? Didn't you cook a turkey large enough to feed a family of 10+?

And there's the snark! Knew you couldn't resist. Perhaps you should practice what you preach?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you an older sibling in a large family, OP? Because my sister was and she had to help raise us. I feel bad that she couldn't have just been a kid like the rest of us.

This case sounds excessive. OP is talking about the responsibilities that come with being in a family.
Oldest kids ahve it harder even w/o the responsibilities of the younger ones, so you will always hear groans from them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the bitter old hags who criticize big families. We have a great many of them in our area. And increasingly, I feel like having a big family in this day and age is a political act. They are the homeschooling, right-wing types who practice Natural Family Planning but can't seem to get it right. And more annoying that that, they are in my way. When we are at swimming lessons or dance, the moms are the ones sitting on their asses letting their kids throw the free newspapers on the ground or stick pencils in their eyes. They are the kids drowning in the swimming pool. One of them is always MIA. Hey wanna-be Mrs Duggars of the world, watch your children. I often wonder, I only have two kids why do I seem busier or more harried than Mrs. Duggar who is over there lounging b/c she's tired. She's pregnant again, of course. So her kids are out playing in traffic or the older ones have the little ones (maybe). The other day I saw one mom really berating her 7 (?) old for not watching the little ones. That just isn't right.

ITA. Some mom of a large brood is probably going to come on here and tell us all that the woman in your story is not stressed because she just has her act together or something whereas you are a disorganized, lazy mess. Nonsense. Most of the women like the one you observed do not take care of the family day-to-day. How can they, after all, they are always pregnant or breastfeeding an infant. Day-to-day care is done by someone else (if at all). The homeschooling is one of the more disturbing issues, and I believe that the OP has stated on other threads that she home schools. How does someone who is always pregnant or breastfeeding an infant also properly homeschool the older children? The OP of this thread is on this site posting so much that we know about her home births, her Catholic faith, her family blog, that she was the oldest of 10, her husband is in the military, and the gender of her kids. [b]How can someone who home schools multiple older kids and presumably runs a household of 10 people have so much time for the Internet?[b]

Yikes, I feel so stalked.

Fair question, though the same could be asked of the many professionals/dual income posters here. For me, I use DCUM as a diversion when exercising and breastfeeding. It gives me a window into a world very different from my Catholic homeschooling one, and I find the differing perspectives fascinating. And I have been dealing with a serious, long-term illness the past few months, so the distraction has been nice, though often guilty.

Since my older children have needed to take on more than their usual share of responsibility during my illness, my original question has been weighing heavily on my mind, but I am starting to get back to my normal self, and I think they rose to the occasion quite well. I am proud of their resourcefulness and concern, and I hope we are able to make up for lost ground soon.

Big families do often operate in different grooves, different rhythms. The chaos ebbs and flows, and what counts as organization for us might not look that way on the outside. But I think there are many opportunities for virtue in living such a life, and I am grateful for the stories shared here, because they help me reflect on what I can do better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone criticizes large families, calls women "breeders", etc, it's almost always older Moms. They're bitter and pissed that they started their families late, so they think folks with 3+ children are just spitting out babies for the hell of it.

I am one of those older women with ONLY two kids, and yes, I wish that I had 10 kids. Seriously, I would trade my MD for eight more kids. I NEVER criticize women with large families, as a matter of fact, I have told my patients who are on their 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th kids that I am proud of them.

Anonymous wrote:When someone criticizes large families, calls women "breeders", etc, it's almost always older Moms. They're bitter and pissed that they started their families late, so they think folks with 3+ children are just spitting out babies for the hell of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone criticizes large families, calls women "breeders", etc, it's almost always older Moms. They're bitter and pissed that they started their families late, so they think folks with 3+ children are just spitting out babies for the hell of it.

older mom with 2 young kids, married late in life

didn't plan either one - So I'm sure, with MY fertility record, I could have had a few more. The thought was NOT appealing to me.

People have children for selfish reasons. You wish to carry on a name, for example. How many men try so hard for that boy? My uncle did, and 5 girls later . . . Poor fool didn't understand this his Y was in hiding. You feel unfulfilled as a woman. Your professional life didn't turn out the way you planned. So you fill your time with making babies.

all for selfish reasons

Now, those who adopt SN kids are in a different category. But I'm fairly certain that these parents aren't adopting them in groups of 10.

So am I bitter? hell no! I love my 2. They're happy, receive individual attention, and participate in activities, and attend private school b/c we're financially stable.

Don't make assumptions, PP. You're the one who sounds bitter. Reread your post. If you come from a large family or have one yourself and were actually PLEASED with your situation, you wouldn't have posted what you did?

What happened? Didn't you cook a turkey large enough to feed a family of 10+?

Anonymous wrote:Don't get the baby machine mentality. Never will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of the bitter old hags who criticize big families. We have a great many of them in our area. And increasingly, I feel like having a big family in this day and age is a political act. They are the homeschooling, right-wing types who practice Natural Family Planning but can't seem to get it right. And more annoying that that, they are in my way. When we are at swimming lessons or dance, the moms are the ones sitting on their asses letting their kids throw the free newspapers on the ground or stick pencils in their eyes. They are the kids drowning in the swimming pool. One of them is always MIA. Hey wanna-be Mrs Duggars of the world, watch your children. I often wonder, I only have two kids why do I seem busier or more harried than Mrs. Duggar who is over there lounging b/c she's tired. She's pregnant again, of course. So her kids are out playing in traffic or the older ones have the little ones (maybe). The other day I saw one mom really berating her 7 (?) old for not watching the little ones. That just isn't right.

ITA. Some mom of a large brood is probably going to come on here and tell us all that the woman in your story is not stressed because she just has her act together or something whereas you are a disorganized, lazy mess. Nonsense. Most of the women like the one you observed do not take care of the family day-to-day. How can they, after all, they are always pregnant or breastfeeding an infant. Day-to-day care is done by someone else (if at all). The homeschooling is one of the more disturbing issues, and I believe that the OP has stated on other threads that she home schools. How does someone who is always pregnant or breastfeeding an infant also properly homeschool the older children? The OP of this thread is on this site posting so much that we know about her home births, her Catholic faith, her family blog, that she was the oldest of 10, her husband is in the military, and the gender of her kids. [b]How can someone who home schools multiple older kids and presumably runs a household of 10 people have so much time for the Internet?[b]

Anonymous wrote:The idea that childhood means no work and all play is cultural. Kids learn to be responsible by taking on responsibility. Babysitting younger siblings has been happening since the beginning of time and it is only modern day urban rich who now feel that is oppression. Still out on farms and in rural areas, kids help out.

I was one of 6 and yes I did lots of babysitting but it was never a bad thing. In our family being part of the family meant contributing whether you were child or adult. I really couldn't have been all that bad as various teens lived with us by choice when their own family situations were bad and yes they were expected to take on responsibilities as a family member, including helping with other kids.