Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like many folks here had easy kids. I always pack multiple snacks for DS, yet without fail he'll spot the one item I don't have and throw a fit. We just hit the terrible twos so I'm hoping it's just a phase. But what can I do? I can't really teach him a lesson that he can't always have immediate gratification without subjecting the entire store to him hysterically screaming "FRUIT STRIP!" or "PRETZELS!" So I take one out of the box or bag & let him have it. I've got the majority of the bag/box in my cart so there's no chance of forgetting to pay when we check out. Sorry to those who find this "tacky".

When this has happened to me, I've left the store without getting my groceries. I know this a major pain and can be extremely inconvienient, but it's really the only way to enforce the lesson that this behavior is not acceptable. I've left libraries, stores, restaurants, and bbqs. After doing this for a bit, the lesson is learned.

OP back again and I just realized that I am totally falling into the DCUM nastiness trap. I actually don't care in the least if you feed your kids items before you pay for them. Do what you have to do. I apologize.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like many folks here had easy kids. I always pack multiple snacks for DS, yet without fail he'll spot the one item I don't have and throw a fit. We just hit the terrible twos so I'm hoping it's just a phase. But what can I do? I can't really teach him a lesson that he can't always have immediate gratification without subjecting the entire store to him hysterically screaming "FRUIT STRIP!" or "PRETZELS!" So I take one out of the box or bag & let him have it. I've got the majority of the bag/box in my cart so there's no chance of forgetting to pay when we check out. Sorry to those who find this "tacky".

Seriously? Seriously? I guess maybe it's harder to put the cat back in the bag than to just not do this in the first place, but my kids don't have any inkling that you even CAN eat the food before you pay for it because we've never done it. And if one of them started "hysterically screaming" because he wanted a fruit strip immediately, then I would assume he's too hungry/cranky to shop and leave the store. This scenario just seems like you're reinforcing tantrums as successful.

Yep. Sometimes difficult kids are made/reinforced. I don't find it tacky to let your son eat, but you could do what I do with my 1.5 yr old-- I let her know that we are going somewhere where we cannot have a snack, but when we're all done, we can have a snack. She often asks for a snack, and then I have a conversation with her and try to distract her in other ways-- "Yum! Bananas! You want a banana. How many bananas are you going to eat when we get home?" which gives her a chance to practice her new counting skills. As long as she isn't overtired or hungry, there is usually SOMETHING we can do to keep her happy. Honestly, like I said, I really am not at all offended if your child is eating in the store-- it doesn't bother me a bit-- but I did want to agree with the PP that it's not very nice to label your son as more difficult than other kids when you are reinforcing his difficult behavior with your actions. I am sure he's a sweetheart and honestly, maybe I'm alone in this but I also have no problem shopping next to a hysterical toddler screaming "pretzels! pretzels!" as long as he's not mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But what can I do? I can't really teach him a lesson that he can't always have immediate gratification without subjecting the entire store to him hysterically screaming "FRUIT STRIP!" or "PRETZELS!"

What can you do? You can take him outside of the store and sternly tell him that his behavior is unacceptable. If he is in the midst of a meltdown, then you end the shopping trip.

Oh brother, hey if it helps the poster get through the store without a tantrum, then all of her fellow shoppers thank her for letting the kid have a fruit strip. Seriously. This thread is hilarious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Not only is it illegal in VA (don't flame me it is in the statutes), but it teaches my DC to expect immediate gratification.

OP again. This is why we don't do it (besides the fact that it's illegal and somewhat weird to me that you're consuming something that's not yet yours - surprised the stores are ok with this but anyway) - kids can wait and need to learn to wait. Sure I've been in the store a few times when they've been whining, but they can wait. I suppose if one of them threw a huge tantrum or something, we would have just left the store. I just don't get that your kid can't wait 20 minutes without eating.

I often have to take my two girls, ages 3 and 5, on a large shopping mission. It isn't always a short 10-20 minutes worth of shopping. I wish it weren't so, but I work full-time and very often over-time as well. So sometimes, in the evening or on the weekend, we are at the store sometimes an hour, sometimes a bit longer. So yes, asking them to wait that long is hard. Not to mention going up to wait in a long line to pay for the crackers or whatever seriously makes my long grocery trip even longer.

I guess this is a whole 'nother conversation, but I'm the OP and I work full-time too (so does DH). And I don't think I've ever had a shopping trip that lasted an entire hour. And if I did, I'd probably at least try to leave the kids at home. But even so, your kids can't wait an hour without eating?

No, sometimes they can't wait an hour to eat. If I have to work sometimes 6 days out of the week, and the one day I have off, we need some food at the grocery store, then I don't want to leave my kids home. We make an adventure out of going to the store together, and if it works out better for them to eat a couple crackers while doing that, then I don't see the problem with it.

I always do this - probably 90% of the time we eat or drink something. I don't understand the issue. I awlways - 100% of the time - pay for the food/drink.

I've done this once or twice with DD. Actually happened last shopping trip, we had run out of milk and DD desperately wanted some, so I gave her one of the Horizon Organic Singles to drink as we shopped. She liked it so much I bought several more, so the store actually gained. And of course I brought the empty container to be scanned so I could pay for it.

I found out I was pregnant when I'd been nauseous for several days and went to the store for some random stuff, and the banana pyramid looked like gold. I hadn't been able to keep anything down for days, and the instant I saw those bananas I had to eat. I ate two right there and bought 3 bunches. When I explained to the checkout lady that I needed to weigh 2 bananas twice so I could pay for the ones I ate, she looked me right in the eye and said, "You must be pregnant." Called the ob/gyn on the way home, 2 days later blood tests confirmed the pregancy.

Before pregnancy would have been aghast at anyone eating an item before paying, now I understand that some circumstances call for exceptions

This is the dumbest thread on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote: But what can I do? I can't really teach him a lesson that he can't always have immediate gratification without subjecting the entire store to him hysterically screaming "FRUIT STRIP!" or "PRETZELS!"

What can you do? You can take him outside of the store and sternly tell him that his behavior is unacceptable. If he is in the midst of a meltdown, then you end the shopping trip.

I did it in the checkout line of Safeway yesterday on the walk home from my son's daycare. He had a long day, hardly had lunch, and we still had 12 blocks to walk home. And the line was taking FOREVER (I had to buy stuff like milk, eggs, fruit). So I opened up some crackers that we were about to pay for. He's a 2 year old, so reasoning didn't work. I'd apologize, but it was way better than hearing him scream bloody murder because he didn't know what to do with himself with being tired/hungry. No, it's not a habit I'd like to encourage. But If someone gave me sh*t about it, I'd have some words to exchange.

No I have never done it. DD has to wait or I bring snacks/water for her. Being that I'm AA I wonder if it's because I dont want to give anyone any extra reasons to watch me while I'm shopping. That said...it's something that I never thought I could do.

Anonymous wrote:It seems like many folks here had easy kids. I always pack multiple snacks for DS, yet without fail he'll spot the one item I don't have and throw a fit. We just hit the terrible twos so I'm hoping it's just a phase. But what can I do? I can't really teach him a lesson that he can't always have immediate gratification without subjecting the entire store to him hysterically screaming "FRUIT STRIP!" or "PRETZELS!" So I take one out of the box or bag & let him have it. I've got the majority of the bag/box in my cart so there's no chance of forgetting to pay when we check out. Sorry to those who find this "tacky".

Seriously? Seriously? I guess maybe it's harder to put the cat back in the bag than to just not do this in the first place, but my kids don't have any inkling that you even CAN eat the food before you pay for it because we've never done it. And if one of them started "hysterically screaming" because he wanted a fruit strip immediately, then I would assume he's too hungry/cranky to shop and leave the store. This scenario just seems like you're reinforcing tantrums as successful.

Wow there are bunch of uptight people in this area. I don't do it as a rule (mostly for the slippery slope reason plus my kids eating in the grocery store where they have touched heaven knows what grosses me out), but hey, I have done it on occasion and think nothing of it. Live and let live, people. As long as you pay for it in the end, I don't see the big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Not only is it illegal in VA (don't flame me it is in the statutes), but it teaches my DC to expect immediate gratification.

OP again. This is why we don't do it (besides the fact that it's illegal and somewhat weird to me that you're consuming something that's not yet yours - surprised the stores are ok with this but anyway) - kids can wait and need to learn to wait. Sure I've been in the store a few times when they've been whining, but they can wait. I suppose if one of them threw a huge tantrum or something, we would have just left the store. I just don't get that your kid can't wait 20 minutes without eating.

I often have to take my two girls, ages 3 and 5, on a large shopping mission. It isn't always a short 10-20 minutes worth of shopping. I wish it weren't so, but I work full-time and very often over-time as well. So sometimes, in the evening or on the weekend, we are at the store sometimes an hour, sometimes a bit longer. So yes, asking them to wait that long is hard. Not to mention going up to wait in a long line to pay for the crackers or whatever seriously makes my long grocery trip even longer.

I guess this is a whole 'nother conversation, but I'm the OP and I work full-time too (so does DH). And I don't think I've ever had a shopping trip that lasted an entire hour. And if I did, I'd probably at least try to leave the kids at home. But even so, your kids can't wait an hour without eating?

No. They eat before we go (or on the way) or I'll buy them something before we shop. They're young, and I don't want them thinking that we can just grab something off a shelf and eat it without paying for it (even if we pay for it later, they may not make the connection).

However I mentioned in the other thread that I have occasionally sipped on a bottle of water and then paid for it while checking out. Or I'll buy it then keep the receipt with me while I shop.