Anonymous wrote:I need a whispering pizza man...

. . . with a hot package.

In the suburbs of Vegas it's common to put up signs that say something like "Night Worker" so people don't knock during the day (because the owner is sleeping).

DH works nights and sleeps during the day. I put a sign out that the bell is broken and only to knock if there is an emergency.

I had this too and just put a post it to gently knock- baby asleep. They all followed this. As for the pizza guy- ha- way back in undergrad I had the pizza guy ask me out and that was the biggest joke in the dorm since it was so stereotypical. He was nerdy cute- ah- sure he's a millionaire now!!

I know someone that answers the door and chats the solicitor up - like a bad sales person! Give it up, people. Do NOT encourage the solicitors. Do not answer. Period. Otherwise, you may as well give the guy the keys to your house, as far as he is concerned. Becuase that is pretty much what you are doing. Don't be a dumba**.

OP, leave a sign. Who gives a f*ck what strangers think of you? Really.

OK 15:47, no one is seriously saying not to use the Internet to shop. They are poking fun at the OP for ordering things then getting all "the UPS guy can go f himself for delivering my package." See it's funny--she's the root cause of the effect she's mad about. Get it yet?

Of course OP can put up a sign asking people not to ring the bell...she should have just done that in the first place and saved herself and you a lot of huffy huff.

Anonymous wrote:I need a whispering pizza man...

me too! i'm just imagining "shhh..pizza's here"

I asked my delivery guy not to ring the bell.

How hard was that?

15:27...I'm curious. Have you NEVER ordered a package? Let me clarify something. UPS leaves packages not requiring a signature on doorsteps. All the live long day. I can't member the last time I had to sign for a package. Sometimes, they ring a doorbell or knock and run, to notify the occupant that a package is there. They don't have to. No one is being restricted by a sign. Get it? And I order a lot off of Amazon because it is extremely convenient with 2 small children. Cat liter, cases of diapers, Christmas presents...why lug children to the store? We have better uses for our time. I get 50% of my groceries delivered too. I'll give you the benefit of doubt and assume that your kids were babies before the invention of the Internet so you don't get it. Or you are that 17 year old poster again.

I need a whispering pizza man...

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, there is a No Solicitation sign at every entrance to my neighborhood and at least twice a week I get solicitors. That doesn't include girl scouts or boy scouts; they get a pass, and don't come at nap time, but the solicitors ALWAYS come at nap time, as does UPS or FedEx. I order a lot off of Amazon so I think just for that very reason I'm going to need to put a sign on my door that reads, "Please do not knock or ring bell between the hours of 12 and 4. Thank you." Is that nuts? I don't want to seem crazy, but it wakes up my 2 boys and then we are doomed for the rest of the day. Oh and I love the double door bell ring, followed by loud bang bang bang! That this one delivery guy always does, when he doesn't even need a fucking signature. He just rings, bangs, and drives away.

how stupid. so you order "a lot off Amazon" but want to restrict when the delivery guys can do their jobs? what planet do you live on? Oh, I make an hourly wage and have a tight schedule, but I better skip this house and come back later as I see her child is napping ...

Anonymous wrote:The pizza guy just opens the door and whispers?

Oh yes, the "pizza guy" [wink wink, nudge nudge]

Anonymous wrote:We used to have a sign that said "babies sleeping. You wake em, you watch em". Worked like a charm.

I love this. Very friendly and cute, but gets the point across.

OP here. Hilarious. Thanks for the support though! I was having a moment yesterday of pure frustration. Obviously I know how to fix the problem, it just was one of those things I kept putting off and putting off, because I have 100 other pressing issues in front of this one. Really just frustrated that I hadn't dealt with it sooner! To the person wondering about where I live: Severna Park. Older established neighborhood, not McMansiony, but large homes that scream "take our $$ please" I suppose.

We don't have a doorbell; people have to knock. Our neighborhood has had a lot of thefts of packages from porches, so UPS drivers are actually requested to knock to let the owner know the package is there! If you don't want that to happen, just put up a sign. End of story. How can this thread be 3 pgs long??