Someone amazingly resurrected a 3 year old thread, and you think OP is still around waiting for advice on this issue????

Don't do it. Your husband won't be pleased. Of course he will "allow" it. He can't make you do anything. This will be bad.

OP, curious what your relationship is with your ex now. I think that either your husband is really controlling or he knows that you still have feelings for your ex. If you have to post a question on a board, then it probably means you shouldn't go. But most normal people who have maintained platonic relationships with exes can meet them for coffee every now and then. And everyone on this board who is saying that under healthy circumstances no person should meet an ex is incredibly insecure. I have a friend in a relationship like this. Both her and her husband basically forbid each other from contacting exes or going out to lunch with opposite sex colleagues and I'm waiting to see how long they can take their self induced, insecure misery.

Anonymous wrote: it should be done openly.

Meeting in public for coffee is open. I don't think open means the spouses have to know. It just seems to complicate what is an innocent meeting to get reacquainted.

Anonymous wrote:First, you have to be honest with yourself.

Woulld you tell your spouse that you are meeting him for coffee? If yes, then, no problem, go ahead, chitchat, get together with spouses, create a family friendship.

But if you wouldn't tell your husband, eyes open, you certainly are headed straight for a complicated situation.

Above all, ask yourself if you would regret going or not going.

I personally, turned down an opportunity to meet an ex before I was married to my dh. Happily married now for 15 years but I always wonder what would have happened.

+1

I lunch every few months with a couple of ex-boyfriends and don't think much of it.

First, you have to be honest with yourself.

Woulld you tell your spouse that you are meeting him for coffee? If yes, then, no problem, go ahead, chitchat, get together with spouses, create a family friendship.

But if you wouldn't tell your husband, eyes open, you certainly are headed straight for a complicated situation.

Above all, ask yourself if you would regret going or not going.

I personally, turned down an opportunity to meet an ex before I was married to my dh. Happily married now for 15 years but I always wonder what would have happened.

Would you be comfortable knowing your DH is greeting coffee with his ex- girlfriend and he cares about her emotional life?
Sounds smoky

Anonymous wrote:You sound like two reasonable adults. Reasonable adults should be able to get together for coffee.

You sound like an idiot who can't read this is from 2011

Anonymous wrote:You sound like two reasonable adults. Reasonable adults should be able to get together for coffee.

This was three years ago.

Anonymous wrote:You sound like two reasonable adults. Reasonable adults should be able to get together for coffee.

Reasonable adults don't respond to three year old posts

Too weird including the spouses. Has to be awkward as hell. If you care about him as you say, you won't impose this on him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bad idea to get together just the two of you. If you want to reconnect, you and your spouse get together with him and his spouse. Anything else is asking for trouble.

+1

+1000