I dunno -- "after 14 years of high-powered private schooling, did your kids turn out to be thoughtful and intellectually engaged people or exceptionally well-trained performing seals (and do you credit or blame the school or yourselves for this outcome)?" strikes me as a question someone might wonder about. And, for that matter, a question than many potential respondents might well take offense at. Mystery solved.

10 years into the process, DC seems firmly on the former path and I think that's because school and home reinforced each others' values. At least that's what I take away when I look at DC's schoolmates, some of whom are like DC, but most of whom aren't. Where I think school makes the most difference is when you have a kid whose personality or interests start(s) out different from his or her parents and who ends up at a school that's a good fit for the kid.

I'm not sure to whom you are writing and what point you are making. As far as brand is concerned in the mid-1990s when I bought my car a FORD was a FORD and a TOYOTA was TOYOTA. I got a lousy return on my investment with the FORD. I got an excellent ROI with the TOYOTA. Education is no different.

Why would I spend $30,000/ year for an private primary school education in the D.C. area. This is a lousy ROI in my opinion. The public magnet schools are a far superior eduactional brand. Therefore, my children went to the public school magnets for primary education. There received a far superior return on that investment. "High-powered private primary school" does not equal superior education in the D.C. area. For those struggling with their underwater mortgages we have no reason to be part of the educational bubble and sentence our children to worthess underwater educational loans. Therefore, the choice of $45,000/year at Harvard may indeed be a better ROI thatn $35.000/year at Podunk University.

OP I went to a Big 3 school and in many ways I was immature when I graduated (at 17, not 19). I chose the colleges I applied to based on proximity to skiing. But you know what? It all worked out very well in the end. I think the education I got in HS prepared me well for college and graduate school. I think 17 and 18 year olds are generally going to be immature in at least some ways whether they are at a big 3 school, big 10 school, great public school, crappy public school, whatever. In fact college bound kids at crappy public schools are probably the most mature because they have to be self motivated and independent and are much less likley to be helicoptered through life. So maybe that's where you need to be focusing your energy.

OP - Here are the questions you should be asking yourself.

OP - you are focusing on all the wrong things. Have you asked yourself.....

1. Is my child independent?

2. Is my child responsible?

3. Is my child kind?

4. Is my child empathetic?

5. Is my child motivated?

6. Do I support independent decision making, even if I would do things differently?

7. Do I monitor my child's schoolwork and activity schedule? What would happen if I didn't?

8. Does my child have the confidence to navigate failure and disappointment?

Etc.

Your post indicates that you are way off course all around -- finding the right school requires that you know yourself and know your child.
Just a suggestion.





If you



8. Is your child able to independently resolve conflicts with friends and self advocate with teachers?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most kids that age are not intellectually mature. They care about what people think of them because they are still pretty self-centered. Their parents might add to this by vocalizing how important "status" is by material possessions. I've heard parents say many things in front of their kids like "Don't wear that. You look like a homeless person." or "That school is full of weirdos." Etc. Kids internalize this after many years of it.

I disagree and 19 years old is not a "kid". I am not talking about HS freshman. I am talking about HS seniors. Was is Piaget or Erikkson who said that,"identity is the developmental task of the teenager" Seems you need that to choose a college and a major. It is not the sum of a transcript plus extracurriculars.

Perhaps you will find some mature girls at that age but most boys do not fully mature until their mid 20s. I have my Master's degree, thanks. In education. My DH teaches some college courses and he concurs. There are fewer boys in his freshman classes (writing) because 1) there are fewer boys enrolled in the college and this has been the case for 10+ years and 2) boys are overrepresented in the remedial courses. They graduate from HS and if they enroll in college, they are not ready for the college level classes so they have to take remedial ones first. In our society, 19 is still a "kid." Parents hover over their children and that is why parents are overly involved in the college admission's process. My DH gets emails every year from parents of his students. He, of course, cannot discuss their grades, etc with their parents but that doesn't stop them. The students he has are immature compared to the ones he had years ago. They text in class (without trying to hide it) and are generally not as respectful to the teacher, according to my DH. Times have changed and not necessarily for the better.

I dunno -- "after 14 years of high-powered private schooling, did your kids turn out to be thoughtful and intellectually engaged people or exceptionally well-trained performing seals (and do you credit or blame the school or yourselves for this outcome)?" strikes me as a question someone might wonder about. And, for that matter, a question than many potential respondents might well take offense at. Mystery solved.

10 years into the process, DC seems firmly on the former path and I think that's because school and home reinforced each others' values. At least that's what I take away when I look at DC's schoolmates, some of whom are like DC, but most of whom aren't. Where I think school makes the most difference is when you have a kid whose personality or interests start(s) out different from his or her parents and who ends up at a school that's a good fit for the kid.

23:22 here again

As you look for HS - you should be looking for a good match for your child. And you can teach your child through this process that it is the match that matters, not just the brand name of the school. One of the great benefits of moving from a k-8 school is your child can learn how to find a match so that they already are familiar with that idea when it comes time to apply for college. Your actions now will be a blueprint for your child later...so if you act like you care about Big 3 over Big 5 for external reasons for HS - they may do the same for college.

That's precisely why I teach my children a tried and true trusted brand is equally important -- even in education! A cost - benefit (reward) analysis goes with good economic sense. Children should be taught this early in life.

Furthermore, that's precisely why we are still driving our 15 year old Toyota and our Ford was junked long ago due to abject and poor quality. Are you suggesting I should have bought a Ford?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone out there with great stories to tell about inspirational teachers at Sidwell, Cathedral schools, Maret, GDS?

Go back and read your original post. It had nothing to do with this. It was all about pointing and laughing at the 19 year old. If you really want any information about any of these schools do a search of old threads or post a question other than "can you please tell me about schools in which there are no 19 year olds who are afraid of what other people think of them?"

Are you someone with something to share about your teens experience in a DC private or do you just want to waste time baiting. It seems quite vacuous to prefer the latter.

I do have a teen at a private but I thought your post was mean spirited and the rest of the thread has been just an excuse to somehow justify it and not a serious attempt to engage in any kind of discussion.

23:22 here again

As you look for HS - you should be looking for a good match for your child. And you can teach your child through this process that it is the match that matters, not just the brand name of the school. One of the great benefits of moving from a k-8 school is your child can learn how to find a match so that they already are familiar with that idea when it comes time to apply for college. Your actions now will be a blueprint for your child later...so if you act like you care about Big 3 over Big 5 for external reasons for HS - they may do the same for college.

OP - I am not sure why this brought out the worst of DCUM crowd. You know it's bad when they start pulling the "you can't write" card. Sorry.

But...I think that parents have more impact on whether a child " knows themself", is self assured or has the confidence to chart a different path than their peers. AND sometimes, even with great support, some kids may just be insecure (or secure) based on their personality.

I was very independent in school, didn't worry what schools other kids thought I should go to. I raised eyebrows with my choice and several classmates asked me why I would make such a choice (not hiding their opinions in the least). But to this day, I know it was the right place for me. My parents and the certainly my school had nothing to do with my confidence ( other than giving me freedom to choose and the tools to get there) . Meanwhile, I had plenty of friends who were all about "the brand name" of the school and worried about what others thought.

I think you just need to look at schools and talk to students at the schools and then follow your gut on where your child would thrive best as a person...the academics will be there at all of these schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone out there with great stories to tell about inspirational teachers at Sidwell, Cathedral schools, Maret, GDS?

Go back and read your original post. It had nothing to do with this. It was all about pointing and laughing at the 19 year old. If you really want any information about any of these schools do a search of old threads or post a question other than "can you please tell me about schools in which there are no 19 year olds who are afraid of what other people think of them?"

Are you someone with something to share about your teens experience in a DC private or do you just want to waste time baiting. It seems quite vacuous to prefer the latter.

Anonymous wrote:Silly question, OP. Do you really think any high school is responsible for shaping your dc's identity? Or strength of conviction? I think you may be expecting more than the school can deliver.

You have turned my question on its head for arguments sake and that isn't really constructive, is it? No, of course, I don't think that the school is SOLELY responsible for shaping a teens identity or strength of conviction.One must do the work on that oneself. That is the point. I do , however,hope to enroll my DC in a school that will give him ample encouragement to find out what his strengths are and not JUST relative to everyone else in his class.It is hard to pull that out of a curriculum brochure, so I am posing the question to parents who have teens in these schools. I am am asking the question on an anonymous forum in the hopes people will be honest . I am only asking for positive comments,not negative, No interest in slamming a school here.

Do you have a teen in these schools? If not, why did you respond? I am posting to try to get a sense from other parents who have teens in these schools. imho, there should be no looking around end of senior year and worrying about how you look compared to so and so. Who cares, right? There are a million ways a school can educate you so that you do not end up like that.One is independent study. To paraphrase from long distance running: you are only racing against yourself.The student I mentioned was more concerned with what people in his school would think about his college choice than he was in choosing to go somewhere right for him.That is like being afraid to marry someone because , although she makes you happy and you love her, WHAT will people think? Yikes. My concern is that that type of conformity may be prevalent in some schools, so prevalent that it was given by the student to their parent as a legit reason to actually not apply to a prospective school.If that is the real deal , I 'd like to avoid it for my DC.

Clearly the problem stems from the fact that the senior in question was said to be 19 years of age. Get it, he was redshirted! So, there you have it.

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone out there with great stories to tell about inspirational teachers at Sidwell, Cathedral schools, Maret, GDS?

Go back and read your original post. It had nothing to do with this. It was all about pointing and laughing at the 19 year old. If you really want any information about any of these schools do a search of old threads or post a question other than "can you please tell me about schools in which there are no 19 year olds who are afraid of what other people think of them?"

I'm beginning to think this is the newest single man watching Winnie the Pooh. Nobody can be this oblivious.

Your question wasn't "are there any inspirational teachers at big 3s" though, was it? You came at it from an entirely different (off-putting) angle.