Gosh, when I was in my 20s our group of friends would often get together for birthday dinners-- it was just understood that you paid your own way. None of us had he kind of money that we'd be treating everyone to a dinner out. I really don't see the big deal.

Of course, it was always informally arranged with an email-- there was no formal invite or anything like that. I have never heard of a "no host" party and if I got an invitation with that on it, I wouldn't have known what it means.

Anonymous wrote:Lord help the waitress who's got to write and keep track of twenty separate checks for this group.

For this large a group the restaurant may refuse to do so. OP should just have a party at her house. Also, OP should foot the bill for the friend and her DH birthday. It is so tacky to watch people split the tab evenly: "Let's see, your share for dinner is $15.00, plus tax and tip."