Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 13:59     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He might be all flirt and no action, though, as I said. I guess that's safer. Is feeling someone's lust just as good as indulging in it?



I don't think it is but it helps. Do you have reason to believe he won't go through with it? BTW, I have had several relationships on the side during my almost 20 year marriage but DH and I have given each other permission.


Yes, I do. He's been married over 12 years and told me he's never cheated.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 13:59     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He might be all flirt and no action, though, as I said. I guess that's safer. Is feeling someone's lust just as good as indulging in it?


It can be, especially if you are unsure if you really want to take it to the next step. Just knowing that you are still sexually desireable to men other then DH, certainly as we get older, can often be enough to encourage you to be the woman that they see. The woman that they lust after.


You know, I would take it to the next step, but not if he's going to be wracked with guilt. I want him to want it as much as I do.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 13:56     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Anonymous wrote:He might be all flirt and no action, though, as I said. I guess that's safer. Is feeling someone's lust just as good as indulging in it?



I don't think it is but it helps. Do you have reason to believe he won't go through with it? BTW, I have had several relationships on the side during my almost 20 year marriage but DH and I have given each other permission.
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Post 09/19/2011 13:56     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Anonymous wrote:He might be all flirt and no action, though, as I said. I guess that's safer. Is feeling someone's lust just as good as indulging in it?


It can be, especially if you are unsure if you really want to take it to the next step. Just knowing that you are still sexually desireable to men other then DH, certainly as we get older, can often be enough to encourage you to be the woman that they see. The woman that they lust after.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 13:52     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
He might be all flirt and no action, though, as I said. I guess that's safer. Is feeling someone's lust just as good as indulging in it?
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Post 09/19/2011 13:49     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Anonymous wrote:Oh that's so good to know! I enjoy the whole male/female dynamic so much....I've missed that flirtatious feeling....


Well you don't have to go to bed with a guy to engage him in some confidence enabling flirtation, but it certainly works well to guage his interest.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 13:35     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Oh that's so good to know! I enjoy the whole male/female dynamic so much....I've missed that flirtatious feeling....
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Post 09/19/2011 13:27     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Anonymous wrote:I'm nowhere near as cute as I was back in the day, but I've learned a few things. Men respond well to self confidence, I'm finding.


Exactly this. There was a thread on the explicit forum for a bit where someone asked what men notice or find sexy. Self-confidence was the number one answer. All the physical stuff was window dressing since that comes down to personal preference.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 13:23     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
I'm nowhere near as cute as I was back in the day, but I've learned a few things. Men respond well to self confidence, I'm finding.
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Post 09/19/2011 13:17     Subject: Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
I'm sure that keeping up will not be an issue
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 13:13     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Yes, that too You flatter me, thanks. He's more than 5 years younger than I am....hope I could keep up!
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Post 09/19/2011 12:39     Subject: Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
If it happens, he would enjoy it. The question is how he would make you feel.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 12:16     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
I guess I'll have to see how it plays out. I'm curious also to see how I could make him feel - haven't been with anyone other than spouse in almost 20 years.
ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Post 09/19/2011 12:11     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here thanks. The object of my affection is having cold feet, so I think it's a non-issue anyway.


Too bad he is backing out on you.


We haven't even started....it is a shame in a way, because his eyes just drive me wild and I am so curious about how he'd be in bed. Better not to play with fire, I suppose.


Sure you might get burned, or like a pp said you might get ignited
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2011 12:10     Subject: Re:Is there really any way to have another relationship without destroying the marriage?
Anonymous wrote:Bummer. Maybe he's playing hard to get?


Maybe. I think it's partly logistics that are getting him and part of it is that our social circle slightly overlaps. It could also be he's all talk and no action.