Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

20:00 here. I certainly understand this. God knows I hope he reads this or hears about it and it has an impact. in any case, my anger is not directed at your comment. But I'm still so angry at reading what people have said upstream in this comment thread.

But unfortunately, there's so much hate out there and so much "she had it coming" and "she asked for it." The world is a very hard place. My brother was just a child when he began using. He was literally 10 or 11 years old going to the grocery store with me (I was around 20, in college) and when we got home I noticed rolling papers in the bag. I thought they were somehow just in the cart by accident until I saw my brother palm them and head upstairs. I blame myself a little bit because I did not tell my parents. I thought he was just trying to show off to his friends - it never ever occurred to me that he might actually be smoking pot. He was a just a little boy. What did I know? A few years later and he started coming home drunk and high all of the time. I smoked pot from time to time in college, but it was startling - he was only 13 or 14. My parents flipped out. Sent him to rehab, etc. My brother dropped out of high school and left home. He overdosed so many times. The episode at my parents house was Christmas Eve, and I only wish I were making that up. The only reason he "died" and not actually died was because my parents' next door neighbor is a nurse and was able to provide care within a few minutes of him ODing. He has been in a half dozen programs. As recently as last year, he was completely clean for over 6 months. This was after he was arrested for breaking into a house to steal the copper out of the pipes. Imagine that. My baby brother. The one I babysat, looked after like a little second mother, held in my arms, in such a situation. It's a struggle to try to prevent myself from visualizing him in that situation, so desperate and high or desperate to get high that he stooped to that level that he'd break into a vacant house to do that. My parents are working class, salt of the earth people. My brother once told me, one of the many tearful times I tried taking him out for coffee, for lunch, for dinner, or (trying to change things up - see, I'm cool too, I have a beer sometimes) out for a drink. That's before things had gotten really bad. Trying to relate to him, trying to reconcile him with the little kid he was just a few years ago. Anyway, he once told me that my dad, in a moment of anger and frustration, asked him why he can't take anything seriously, why is he wasting his life. And my brother said that his life is so bad and so already wasted that if he took it seriously he'd probably have to kill himself. I guess this was around the time when we stopped pretending that everything was going to be okay with my brother. Currently he is in the hospital. He was kicked out of the program that seemed to have been doing so well for him. My parents have aged 20 years. I hold my children tight and hope that nothing like this should ever come to them. Certainly, my parents may have made mistakes but they did not ask for this. And neither did my brother.

So yeah, the "lady" a few posts back who said Amy Winehouse was "asking for it?" Well, she's a cunt. And so are the rest of you who dare to utter such ignorant and terrible drivel about a person whose life you know nothing of. I imagine Amy Winehouse has a mother and siblings and friends. Shocking as it may seem to you, I bet people were pulling for her. People were hoping that she wouldn't have to be the one to die. And I'm sure, like me, they cringe and worry when the phone rings. In my family, anytime any of my parents or my functioning siblings call one another and leave messages, we have to make sure our voices are upbeat and we can't be interpreted as sounding off. One vague message from one of us is enough to make the rest of us assume it's happened.

So yeah, some people should STFU. There but by the grace of god go you, there but by the grace of god go your children. Use god as a metaphor if you want - luck, fortune, fate, whatever. You're not special or so different. Maybe some day you could be "asking for it" too. I hope not.

I am sorry for your brother's troubles and hope he can get well. I don't really know much about Amy Winehouse, but it is unbelievable that people would not feel bad to hear of a 27 year old's death. She was not a criminal or a terrorist. People on this forum are horrible. I am am done with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In some ways I also think she got what she asked for.

I don't think Amy Winehouse "asked" to die. If you read this article there's a lot more insight into her addiction, the pain she was going through over a recent breakup from her boyfriend who incidentally split with her because of her addiction, her latest stint in rehab, and how her parents even knew her death was eminent. It's sad when anyone dies but Amy did really die right before our eyes, it was only a matter of time.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2018126/Amy-Winehouse-dead-Singer-heartbroken-split-Reg-Traviss.html

To the PP with the addicted brother, I do hope your brother gets better. I understand on so many levels how addiction is a disease, it's so physical with heroin and opiates. You can't really just "quit". There are several people in my family who struggle with pill addictions but unfortunately at this point in the game we've gone tough love on them. We've been used, taken advantage of, they've stolen valuables for money, attacked my grandmother while high, taken my child's medicine for a buzz, taken my meds, fallen asleep in my bathtub while visiting here (with the door locked), been fired from too many jobs too mention, I've paid rent for this one person enough times to pay a year of college for my child. That really only covers a lot of the financial aspect, not how emotionally draining it can be dealing with them. I can't tell you how many times I've called their work only to be told they were at a funeral for a living relative. So we no longer enable them, we respectfully have cut them off. My family and my small children are my priority now. It sounds callous but I can't care for grown people forever. There is only so much you can do for them until they are ready to help themselves and enabling them is the worst thing you can do for them or for yourselves. This is just my personal experience, I am in no way saying it is your experience.

I did find the article above very informative. Her parents expected Amy to pass one day. I think when you're dealing with an addict of that proportion you know that it's possible.

Anonymous wrote:

20:00 here. I certainly understand this. God knows I hope he reads this or hears about it and it has an impact. in any case, my anger is not directed at your comment. But I'm still so angry at reading what people have said upstream in this comment thread.

But unfortunately, there's so much hate out there and so much "she had it coming" and "she asked for it." The world is a very hard place. My brother was just a child when he began using. He was literally 10 or 11 years old going to the grocery store with me (I was around 20, in college) and when we got home I noticed rolling papers in the bag. I thought they were somehow just in the cart by accident until I saw my brother palm them and head upstairs. I blame myself a little bit because I did not tell my parents. I thought he was just trying to show off to his friends - it never ever occurred to me that he might actually be smoking pot. He was a just a little boy. What did I know? A few years later and he started coming home drunk and high all of the time. I smoked pot from time to time in college, but it was startling - he was only 13 or 14. My parents flipped out. Sent him to rehab, etc. My brother dropped out of high school and left home. He overdosed so many times. The episode at my parents house was Christmas Eve, and I only wish I were making that up. The only reason he "died" and not actually died was because my parents' next door neighbor is a nurse and was able to provide care within a few minutes of him ODing. He has been in a half dozen programs. As recently as last year, he was completely clean for over 6 months. This was after he was arrested for breaking into a house to steal the copper out of the pipes. Imagine that. My baby brother. The one I babysat, looked after like a little second mother, held in my arms, in such a situation. It's a struggle to try to prevent myself from visualizing him in that situation, so desperate and high or desperate to get high that he stooped to that level that he'd break into a vacant house to do that. My parents are working class, salt of the earth people. My brother once told me, one of the many tearful times I tried taking him out for coffee, for lunch, for dinner, or (trying to change things up - see, I'm cool too, I have a beer sometimes) out for a drink. That's before things had gotten really bad. Trying to relate to him, trying to reconcile him with the little kid he was just a few years ago. Anyway, he once told me that my dad, in a moment of anger and frustration, asked him why he can't take anything seriously, why is he wasting his life. And my brother said that his life is so bad and so already wasted that if he took it seriously he'd probably have to kill himself. I guess this was around the time when we stopped pretending that everything was going to be okay with my brother. Currently he is in the hospital. He was kicked out of the program that seemed to have been doing so well for him. My parents have aged 20 years. I hold my children tight and hope that nothing like this should ever come to them. Certainly, my parents may have made mistakes but they did not ask for this. And neither did my brother.

So yeah, the "lady" a few posts back who said Amy Winehouse was "asking for it?" Well, she's a cunt. And so are the rest of you who dare to utter such ignorant and terrible drivel about a person whose life you know nothing of. I imagine Amy Winehouse has a mother and siblings and friends. Shocking as it may seem to you, I bet people were pulling for her. People were hoping that she wouldn't have to be the one to die. And I'm sure, like me, they cringe and worry when the phone rings. In my family, anytime any of my parents or my functioning siblings call one another and leave messages, we have to make sure our voices are upbeat and we can't be interpreted as sounding off. One vague message from one of us is enough to make the rest of us assume it's happened.

So yeah, some people should STFU. There but by the grace of god go you, there but by the grace of god go your children. Use god as a metaphor if you want - luck, fortune, fate, whatever. You're not special or so different. Maybe some day you could be "asking for it" too. I hope not.