Even if you are planning to invite every single one of your Facebook friends to the wedding, OMgosh yes.

ITA it absolutely depends on your geographical area and social class. I married into a completely opposite social area and class, which is fine, but MIL tried to make me something I was not - not fine. You can't tell a grown bride what to do when they are well aware. You can't "tattle" on a grown bride when you make them register, they try to be compliant and pleasant, but the MIL makes it IMPOSSIBLE. And the MIL even reports back to guests if there are returns - because the bride didn't need anything (grown professional adult with own life - unlike SILs - what a concept!) to begin with.

MIL, butt out. Its not your day, its not your business. If you are not willing or able to attend as a GRACIOUS guest, STAY HOME. The bride has enough going on, trust me.

"THIS AINT YOUR MILS WEDDING...."

If there is one thing I can not stand, it is people looking to rip apart the bride because they know the bride is the better person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious??? Why is this tacky?

well for one reason, why would you advertise your registry to a bunch of people who aren't even invited to the wedding?

I'm not saying it's smart or the best approach. But why is posting it on FaceBook or, more curiously, including the registries in the invitation considered tacky?

OMG, really?

The only time it's acceptable to put registry info on an invitation is if it's for a shower, because a shower, by definition, is an event where you bring a gift for the person of honor.

When you invite someone to your wedding, it is NOT expected that guests will bring a gift. The point of the event is NOT gift giving. Of course, it's likely that most people who come will bring a gift, because they want to give the couple something to celebrate the event. But it is not okay to ask people to bring gifts. Registries are there for convenience, and if a guest asks about the registry, it's perfectly acceptable to direct him/her to it. But DO NOT put registry info on invitations. Tacky!

And Facebook?? Good lord. No. As the PP pointed out, chances are most people on your FB friends list aren't even invited to the wedding. Talk about a gift grab! Tacky tacky tacky.

Sounds like a very antiquated perception of weddings. I am going through the process now, along with many other friends, and this is completely foreign. This may have been true in the past but is not true of my generation.

Your generation? You mean your social class. Ick.

I know this is an old thread, but can't stand posters like this pp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious??? Why is this tacky?

well for one reason, why would you advertise your registry to a bunch of people who aren't even invited to the wedding?

I'm not saying it's smart or the best approach. But why is posting it on FaceBook or, more curiously, including the registries in the invitation considered tacky?

OMG, really?

The only time it's acceptable to put registry info on an invitation is if it's for a shower, because a shower, by definition, is an event where you bring a gift for the person of honor.

When you invite someone to your wedding, it is NOT expected that guests will bring a gift. The point of the event is NOT gift giving. Of course, it's likely that most people who come will bring a gift, because they want to give the couple something to celebrate the event. But it is not okay to ask people to bring gifts. Registries are there for convenience, and if a guest asks about the registry, it's perfectly acceptable to direct him/her to it. But DO NOT put registry info on invitations. Tacky!

And Facebook?? Good lord. No. As the PP pointed out, chances are most people on your FB friends list aren't even invited to the wedding. Talk about a gift grab! Tacky tacky tacky.

Sounds like a very antiquated perception of weddings. I am going through the process now, along with many other friends, and this is completely foreign. This may have been true in the past but is not true of my generation.

It also depends on where you come from. I didn't want to do any registries - hell, I didn't want any damned showers either - but my MIL insisted we had to. Apparently she had tons of people calling her asking what we wanted before we even sent invitations. So we did the damned things and sent them with the invitations even though I hated it. Turns out I was the only one offended! But I would never have posted them on FB in a million years.

NP here. I don't think its tacky. People don't have to use the registry - it is there if they WANT to use it. This reminds me of MIL and SILs at my wedding - sourpusses! If you don't want to go to the wedding, don't. Weddings are for genuinely smiling faces only.

Some brides don't need anything - they are older, or established, as I was. Maybe the bride could ask for one large gift if the guests wish to contribute to it (say, a nice camera - not necessarily a house, though I know this was a trend for a while). Where I come from, the wedding gifts are primarily cash. Guests traditionally subscribe to local custom. But I would never ask anyone for cash. Thats just me.

I always wonder what the problem is of someone looking to pick on a bride. Be it the registry or what have you.

Anonymous wrote:I have friends all over the United States who will not be able to make it to my wedding but want to gift. I don't understand why its tacky. It gives people who are your friends and can't make it to the wedding an opportunity to still participate in some way if they choose to. It gives them plenty of time to go to Macys, Target or where ever your registered instead of waiting to ask you the week before and scramble to buy the gift. Just because you post it on facebook or include it in the invitation does NOT mean they have to buy you a gift. In todays busy world people have to plan ahead. It is pretty common in todays world. If you choose not to do it, that's your choice. Other's will not judge based on a gift registry on facebook or in an invitation. Don't judge others for their choice. I think its smart!

Others WILL judge you, as this thread has shown.

I say it's tacky and grubby. But now that I'm in my forties, I think that weddings and showers and wedding gifts are ridiculous in the first place.

Yes. I would probably hide that friend on FB moving forward.

I have friends all over the United States who will not be able to make it to my wedding but want to gift. I don't understand why its tacky. It gives people who are your friends and can't make it to the wedding an opportunity to still participate in some way if they choose to. It gives them plenty of time to go to Macys, Target or where ever your registered instead of waiting to ask you the week before and scramble to buy the gift. Just because you post it on facebook or include it in the invitation does NOT mean they have to buy you a gift. In todays busy world people have to plan ahead. It is pretty common in todays world. If you choose not to do it, that's your choice. Other's will not judge based on a gift registry on facebook or in an invitation. Don't judge others for their choice. I think its smart!

16:54 - so true! What else do people need nowadays, anyway?

Anonymous wrote:We went to a wedding with NO registry. I dislike entering url's so an email [with an evite] plus link on facebook [for those invited only] is much easier.

A couple I know don't show up on google but are on a store website's registry. I searched the store site.

If you give cash what is the common amount:
friend?
relative?
colleague?

Most registries can be found on theknot.com or weddingchannel.com. And of course, you can always ask.

The cash gifts will vary SO much between different regions and social groups. I come from the NYC area and most of my friends are Jewish or Catholic, and in my experience large cash gifts are the norm. When we got married 6 years ago we got lots of gifts of $200 or more from friends, and our closest friends did $400 or more. Aunts, uncles, and family friends gave around $300-600. I know this is not the case everywhere but that's my experience.

We went to a wedding with NO registry. I dislike entering url's so an email [with an evite] plus link on facebook [for those invited only] is much easier.

A couple I know don't show up on google but are on a store website's registry. I searched the store site.

If you give cash what is the common amount:
friend?
relative?
colleague?

Amen PP!

Anonymous wrote:In 20 years, this will be common. Just like e-mail.

This is not a logical analogy. Putting registry information in an invitation is not a technological advance, in fact it's quite the opposite. In this day and age when registries are easily findable online there even less reason to put a printed piece of paper in with the invitation than there would have been 20 years ago. It's tacky now, it was tacky then, and it will still be tacky in 20 years.

Ugh, I agree PP. And including registry info with any invitation (baby shower, wedding, or otherwise) is and always will be tacky tacky tacky. No matter what the generation.

yes

but tackier to do one of those "Help us pay for our honeymoon" deals