Anonymous wrote:I, too, feel for her family. I think people should be mindful of her family when they post things about her that are insensitive.

A high school friend recently died and it broke my heart to read some of the things insensitive people posted on the internet about her death (basically blaming her for an accident that was not her fault). It's very hurtful at a time when her family and friends need comfort. Please think twice before posting all of this hurtful speculation.

well, she was very drunk. how was it not her fault?

I, too, feel for her family. I think people should be mindful of her family when they post things about her that are insensitive.

A high school friend recently died and it broke my heart to read some of the things insensitive people posted on the internet about her death (basically blaming her for an accident that was not her fault). It's very hurtful at a time when her family and friends need comfort. Please think twice before posting all of this hurtful speculation.

My heart goes out to the immediate and extended family - can't fathom this (though I've thought about what if many, many times since her accident).

I can't handle a lot of alcohol - I can have a hangover without having been drunk (so fun - not!]). While I have a drink (or a glass of wine) every night with dinner, I can't handle more than that. I partied very hard in high school, but never got into the sophomoric drinking games in college. I didn't need to play a game to have a drink and, moreover, just saw too many women regret the previous evening after playing these games. All to say, I think the hefty tolerance I had in high school simply wore off over the years. I used to travel overseas for work and was relieved that I did not have to travel to places where there was pressure to drink to seal deals, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to run in the same circles as Ashley. It's a work hard , party hard lifestyle for many. I agree this is a warning to us all to watch out more for our friends and colleagues and speak up, take keys, get them a cab etc when we need to.

Is it possible to work hard but not party hard in those circles? In other words, do you get left out (not promoted) if you don't party hard?

My husband is in government relations (Federal side of things) for a big IT company and goes to as few fundraisers as possible. He is home by 6:00- 6:30 three to four nights out of each work week. A late night for him is 8:30. Sometimes we go to these fundraisers together and consume two drinks each at most. He's doing fine promotion/salary wise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to run in the same circles as Ashley. It's a work hard , party hard lifestyle for many. I agree this is a warning to us all to watch out more for our friends and colleagues and speak up, take keys, get them a cab etc when we need to.

Is it possible to work hard but not party hard in those circles? In other words, do you get left out (not promoted) if you don't party hard?

Not pp, but someone else who travels in those circles. I would say that there is a certain amount of socializing that is mandatory -- fundraisers (not all of which are in the evening), dinners, etc. Alcohol is almost always freely available in evening events, but no one looks strangely at you if you don't consume. Even before I had children, I mostly stopped drinking at these events, just because I found that it just made me really tired. There are folks who do party hard, but most (but not all) of those I know stop, or slow down considerably, after they get married and have kids. My husband and I both used to be on that circuit and we frequently discuss how much we DON'T miss it. As someone who's been around a while, it seems to me that there is actually less of the hard partying going on than there used to be back in the day when lobbyists could buy drinks and dinner for members and their staffs. Back then, everyone had a really hefty expense account and you were expected to spend it. However, even now, there will still be days when the execs are in from out of town, and you are required to take them out, etc.

As for the theory that they were out celebrating the merger, that doesn't ring true to me. They had just announced the merger that day. I went through a similar deal at my old company, and, as a lobbyist, your troubles are just beginning the day the merger is announced. Particularly with a utility, the state and federal regulatory hurdles are significant, and it does make sense that she was heading into the office early and/or traveling to headquarters to start the outreach to the members and regulators. Not to mention that everyone's job is at risk -- no one knows for sure if there is going to be a place for them in the merged entity (you don't need two Washington offices). They may have been out that night partying, but I'm not so sure it was work-related.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to run in the same circles as Ashley. It's a work hard , party hard lifestyle for many. I agree this is a warning to us all to watch out more for our friends and colleagues and speak up, take keys, get them a cab etc when we need to.

Is it possible to work hard but not party hard in those circles? In other words, do you get left out (not promoted) if you don't party hard?

I too "run in those circles," and I can't even remember the last time I've been hammered or stayed out past 11 pm. I am considered pretty successful, certainly at least on the same level as Ashley Turton. I do receptions or dinners out once or twice a week and occasional weekends away, but I very rarely have more than a glass or two of wine. Most of my peers have families too and we all spend a lot of hours at work, so everyone understands about wanting to get home. When I was a staffer in my 20s heavy partying was the norm but it's not that way anymore.

I know a few people who do regularly stay out super late and binge drink and they are kind of a joke. You just can't do an effective job at this level when you're partying like that. This is why I'm inclined to think Ashley Turton's alcohol level was an aberration rather than a reflection of a habit. I didn't know her personally but she had a great reputation and I'd be surprised if she was that much of a party girl.

Anonymous wrote:I used to run in the same circles as Ashley. It's a work hard , party hard lifestyle for many. I agree this is a warning to us all to watch out more for our friends and colleagues and speak up, take keys, get them a cab etc when we need to.

Is it possible to work hard but not party hard in those circles? In other words, do you get left out (not promoted) if you don't party hard?

I used to run in the same circles as Ashley. It's a work hard , party hard lifestyle for many. I agree this is a warning to us all to watch out more for our friends and colleagues and speak up, take keys, get them a cab etc when we need to.

Anonymous wrote:acute alcohol intoxication, according to a pathologist on faculty at Georgetown university school of medicine, is when someone consumes a large amount of alcohol in a short time - this does not mean she was an alcoholic!!

Of course. If you look at my post again, I said that we don't know that that was the case with her.

FWIW there are plenty of alcoholics who are binge drinkers but there are people who go on binges who are not alcoholics. In Ashley Turton's case we don't know which one she was. It was rather odd that she was binge drinking considering that she had to be at work that day but that wasn't definitive evidence one way or another, true.

acute alcohol intoxication, according to a pathologist on faculty at Georgetown university school of medicine, is when someone consumes a large amount of alcohol in a short time - this does not mean she was an alcoholic!!

I hope the "lifestyle" you described for "a lot" of your colleages isn't applicable to any who are parents. I have no "thing" about working moms and was one myself for years, but why bother to have kids if your days/nights are that full?

But as they say in 12 step programs, alcoholism is baffling cunning and powerful. When it's an addiction (and we don't actually know if that was the case with Turton), there is no logic to it. What makes sense to most of us doesn't play when people are struggling with addiction.

I agree and have watched family members struggle more than I'd wish for anyone. I was strictly responding to the post about the long days of the attorney's colleagues.

I hear ya, pp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mentioned the brother's accident out of sympathy for her parents. To lose a child and to have a child who will need lifetime care suddenly, I can't imagine. Adding in the health insurance/financial stress, my prayers go out to them.

I'm an attorney and have a lot of colleagues (male and female) who go all day and drink at night to unwind and sleep when they get home at 9 or later. For political folks, going to evening fundraisers is part of the job. Three kids, 2 demanding jobs and her brother's accident, plus the financial stress of the accident, could all combine to make "normal" drinking slip a bit. Something was going on though. If she had not been extremely drunk (however that came to happen) she would be alive today. It was the likely cause of the crash and there was no other reason she didn't escape the car. I think the only good that can come is to check ourselves and friends a bit more.

I hope the "lifestyle" you described for "a lot" of your colleages isn't applicable to any who are parents. I have no "thing" about working moms and was one myself for years, but why bother to have kids if your days/nights are that full?

But as they say in 12 step programs, alcoholism is baffling cunning and powerful. When it's an addiction (and we don't actually know if that was the case with Turton), there is no logic to it. What makes sense to most of us doesn't play when people are struggling with addiction.

I agree and have watched family members struggle more than I'd wish for anyone. I was strictly responding to the post about the long days of the attorney's colleagues.

Agree PP. Although alcohol poisoning is more characteristic of binge drinking. Very sad accident.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mentioned the brother's accident out of sympathy for her parents. To lose a child and to have a child who will need lifetime care suddenly, I can't imagine. Adding in the health insurance/financial stress, my prayers go out to them.

I'm an attorney and have a lot of colleagues (male and female) who go all day and drink at night to unwind and sleep when they get home at 9 or later. For political folks, going to evening fundraisers is part of the job. Three kids, 2 demanding jobs and her brother's accident, plus the financial stress of the accident, could all combine to make "normal" drinking slip a bit. Something was going on though. If she had not been extremely drunk (however that came to happen) she would be alive today. It was the likely cause of the crash and there was no other reason she didn't escape the car. I think the only good that can come is to check ourselves and friends a bit more.

I hope the "lifestyle" you described for "a lot" of your colleages isn't applicable to any who are parents. I have no "thing" about working moms and was one myself for years, but why bother to have kids if your days/nights are that full?

But as they say in 12 step programs, alcoholism is baffling cunning and powerful. When it's an addiction (and we don't actually know if that was the case with Turton), there is no logic to it. What makes sense to most of us doesn't play when people are struggling with addiction.

Anonymous wrote:I mentioned the brother's accident out of sympathy for her parents. To lose a child and to have a child who will need lifetime care suddenly, I can't imagine. Adding in the health insurance/financial stress, my prayers go out to them.

I'm an attorney and have a lot of colleagues (male and female) who go all day and drink at night to unwind and sleep when they get home at 9 or later. For political folks, going to evening fundraisers is part of the job. Three kids, 2 demanding jobs and her brother's accident, plus the financial stress of the accident, could all combine to make "normal" drinking slip a bit. Something was going on though. If she had not been extremely drunk (however that came to happen) she would be alive today. It was the likely cause of the crash and there was no other reason she didn't escape the car. I think the only good that can come is to check ourselves and friends a bit more.

I hope the "lifestyle" you described for "a lot" of your colleages isn't applicable to any who are parents. I have no "thing" about working moms and was one myself for years, but why bother to have kids if your days/nights are that full?