Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't people just follow the cut offs?? Why is this so complicated??

Because some kids are ready to go to K, when they are at or slightly over the cut-off, like September birthdays. Some parents do prepare their kids academically for school, teach them to sit when appropriate and play when allowed. A child who is easily reading and ready to learn waiting another full year for school is a waste given then they have to start learning basics like letters, numbers, colors, etc. when they have known it for several years.

Everyone needs to stop assuming that an Oct. 15th or whatever birthday will be the oldest kid in class. S/he probably won't. And people definitely need to stop comparing their child's imagined experience with their own, when "cut offs were Dec. 30th!" Well, they're not around here and K is nothing like it was when you were a child. Your child's teacher will teach to the abilities of the class. Not individually, but as a whole. Stop trying to wedge your four year old into my almost 6 year old's classroom because you INSIST that s/he is ready for school because s/he is reading somewhat and can do more than simple addition. Does your kid no longer take a nap or need quiet time in the afternoon? Can s/he sit still for long stretches and pay attention to the teacher? Is s/he starting to socialize with peers on a 5/6 year old level? If the answer to those isn't yes, your kid doesn't belong there yet.

I say this as someone who (a) started K at age four with a fall birthday and (b) has a kid with a fall birthday. My kid has a birthday a week after OPs and has always been somewhat precocious. I spent too much time worrying about trying to push him up a year early (in MoCo). He just started K last week. Guess what? He has three other kids in his class of 17 with birthdays BEFORE his.

Anonymous wrote:Why can't people just follow the cut offs?? Why is this so complicated??

Because sometimes the difference is a matter of hours or a day or two. My DD was born via c-section. Had I been paying attention to school cutoffs at the time I would have had them cut her out of me two days earlier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On time is relative given the cut off ages vary all over the place. I see no purpose in holding back a child who is 6 in September, October or November. You cannot complain your child is socially immature when you are keeping your older child in a class full of much younger kids. Kids adapt and behave accordingly so if they are put with younger 5's, a 6 year old will act like a younger 5 and not a 6 as that is the example they are seeing.

That's not entirely true. if the child is more mature it will very much depend on their own independence whether they play "down"or not.

No, they need to be with children their own age who act accordingly. They are not going to mature if they are with much younger kids who are behaving in an age appropriate way for them, but not your child. Children at 5-6 should not be mature or independent. They have only been alive 5-6 years and need time to gain those skills. School is the opportunity to gain those skills but its far easier for teachers to have older kids that come in with the skills required rather than teaching them.

I'm sorry but you're quite out of touch with child development. It is exactly the age of 5-6 when children start to develop greater independence.

Yes, they are starting to develop it, but the expectation that they should be independent is out of touch with child development. People who want their kids independent early is more out of their need rather than the child's need.

Anonymous wrote:Why can't people just follow the cut offs?? Why is this so complicated??

Because some kids are ready to go to K, when they are at or slightly over the cut-off, like September birthdays. Some parents do prepare their kids academically for school, teach them to sit when appropriate and play when allowed. A child who is easily reading and ready to learn waiting another full year for school is a waste given then they have to start learning basics like letters, numbers, colors, etc. when they have known it for several years.

Why can't people just follow the cut offs?? Why is this so complicated??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On time is relative given the cut off ages vary all over the place. I see no purpose in holding back a child who is 6 in September, October or November. You cannot complain your child is socially immature when you are keeping your older child in a class full of much younger kids. Kids adapt and behave accordingly so if they are put with younger 5's, a 6 year old will act like a younger 5 and not a 6 as that is the example they are seeing.

That's not entirely true. if the child is more mature it will very much depend on their own independence whether they play "down"or not.

No, they need to be with children their own age who act accordingly. They are not going to mature if they are with much younger kids who are behaving in an age appropriate way for them, but not your child. Children at 5-6 should not be mature or independent. They have only been alive 5-6 years and need time to gain those skills. School is the opportunity to gain those skills but its far easier for teachers to have older kids that come in with the skills required rather than teaching them.

I'm sorry but you're quite out of touch with child development. It is exactly the age of 5-6 when children start to develop greater independence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On time is relative given the cut off ages vary all over the place. I see no purpose in holding back a child who is 6 in September, October or November. You cannot complain your child is socially immature when you are keeping your older child in a class full of much younger kids. Kids adapt and behave accordingly so if they are put with younger 5's, a 6 year old will act like a younger 5 and not a 6 as that is the example they are seeing.

That's not entirely true. if the child is more mature it will very much depend on their own independence whether they play "down"or not.

No, they need to be with children their own age who act accordingly. They are not going to mature if they are with much younger kids who are behaving in an age appropriate way for them, but not your child. Children at 5-6 should not be mature or independent. They have only been alive 5-6 years and need time to gain those skills. School is the opportunity to gain those skills but its far easier for teachers to have older kids that come in with the skills required rather than teaching them.

Anonymous wrote:On time is relative given the cut off ages vary all over the place. I see no purpose in holding back a child who is 6 in September, October or November. You cannot complain your child is socially immature when you are keeping your older child in a class full of much younger kids. Kids adapt and behave accordingly so if they are put with younger 5's, a 6 year old will act like a younger 5 and not a 6 as that is the example they are seeing.

That's not entirely true. if the child is more mature it will very much depend on their own independence whether they play "down"or not.

On time is relative given the cut off ages vary all over the place. I see no purpose in holding back a child who is 6 in September, October or November. You cannot complain your child is socially immature when you are keeping your older child in a class full of much younger kids. Kids adapt and behave accordingly so if they are put with younger 5's, a 6 year old will act like a younger 5 and not a 6 as that is the example they are seeing.

Anonymous wrote:

And there are all sorts of social issues for teenagers, period. There is no way to avoid social issues for teenagers. Keeping the child back a year will not avoid social issues when the child is a teenager. It may even create social issues.

We are not talking about "keeping back"--we are talking about "pushing ahead".....based on academics. Not a good idea. Might work out, but why risk it?

"Might work out, but why risk it" goes for everything. Putting the child ahead a year -- might work out, but why risk it? Sending the child on time -- might work out, but why risk it? Keeping the child back a year -- might work out, but why risk it? You risk it because you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages; or you don't risk it, because you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. That is true for everything you do.

And there are all sorts of social issues for teenagers, period. There is no way to avoid social issues for teenagers. Keeping the child back a year will not avoid social issues when the child is a teenager. It may even create social issues.

We are not talking about "keeping back"--we are talking about "pushing ahead".....based on academics. Not a good idea. Might work out, but why risk it?

Anonymous wrote:

It didn't work out, I was terrified of this college guy asking me out. I was fourteen.

you are missing my point. there are guys who will try to go out with your daughter, no matter what grade she is in. You can't hide her from the world, though I completely understand the impulse to do so.

You are responding to a different poster. My point was that there are all sorts of social issues--not just boys asking girls out. No harm in waiting a year. There's more to life than academics.

If a child is ready for school, and could go to school, but you don't let the child go, then I think that there is harm in waiting a year.

And there are all sorts of social issues for teenagers, period. There is no way to avoid social issues for teenagers. Keeping the child back a year will not avoid social issues when the child is a teenager. It may even create social issues.

It didn't work out, I was terrified of this college guy asking me out. I was fourteen.

you are missing my point. there are guys who will try to go out with your daughter, no matter what grade she is in. You can't hide her from the world, though I completely understand the impulse to do so.

You are responding to a different poster. My point was that there are all sorts of social issues--not just boys asking girls out. No harm in waiting a year. There's more to life than academics.

DS was born Oct 29th.
He started K on time at 5 turning 6.

I worried about this b/c I am from NYC where the cut off is Dec 31st so it felt like he was a year behind. He is actually a year behind in school than my friends son who is 2 days younger but lives in NYC.

That said, I thought about trying to get him into K at 4-5. We are in Va so it is not an easy thing.

In the end I decided that he will be in school for at least 15 years once he starts. Possibly another 2-4 after that and then on to a life of work, so in the grand scheme of things, what's the rush?

He started K reading but so did other kids. Some with fall bdays, some with spring birthdays.

Unless another year of Pre-K or day care is a big financial burden why not give DC another carefree year before school starts.

Anonymous wrote:

Just remember - push her ahead and someday she may be a 15 year old with 17 year old boys in her class. I'm in that boat now with my junior and it's not that fun.


You know what its not going to make any difference. The world is full of 17, 18,19 year old boys.

Hell when I was 14 a college student came to our HS and cast me in his student film. My being 14 in 10th grade did not stop him trying to ask me out.

Glad it worked out well for you.

I'll pass on having my DD hang with kids older than she for most of her school career. They grow up fast enough--no point in encouraging her to be a teenager before her time. MS is the worst--having her hang with kids older and going through all of that.

I've known people who pushed their kids ahead--and this is something that they regret--not because of academics, but because of the social issues that come later. So, you have a thirteen year old out in cars with 16 year olds. What could go wrong?

It didn't work out, I was terrified of this college guy asking me out. I was fourteen.

you are missing my point. there are guys who will try to go out with your daughter, no matter what grade she is in. You can't hide her from the world, though I completely understand the impulse to do so.