Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know these people well enough to invite them to your sons wedding, they attended and spend hundreds of dollars on it, but that’s not good enough for you because they didn’t give a gift on top of that. You also didn’t address how long your son and his now wife had been cohabitating before the wedding. If this is going to be a dealbreaker for you, I’d say you’re shallow.

It’s not a dealbreaker ffs.
Cohabiting? 1.5 years. Why is that important? They asked for ppl to contribute to a honeymoon fund, if ppl wanted to give a gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married locally a few years ago. Over 80% of our guests lived in the DMV or within a couple of hours, so not what I’d consider a ‘destination’ wedding. We had several people, including a close family member who came completely empty handed. Not even a card. I honestly found it really rude: our registry was very reasonable and had multiple items that were under $30; a friend who is a student/on a tight budget got us a $10 item I was thrilled with. It wasn’t about the gifts, but it just seemed thoughtless to not even bring a card.

Ironically, the people who traveled the farthest (including a couple from overseas) all gave nice gifts.

Sometimes I take care of wedding gifts/cards after the party; it depends on my schedule.

Ok but the guy made a point that they weren’t giving a gift.

I’m replying to the post that I quoted. Please see above.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married locally a few years ago. Over 80% of our guests lived in the DMV or within a couple of hours, so not what I’d consider a ‘destination’ wedding. We had several people, including a close family member who came completely empty handed. Not even a card. I honestly found it really rude: our registry was very reasonable and had multiple items that were under $30; a friend who is a student/on a tight budget got us a $10 item I was thrilled with. It wasn’t about the gifts, but it just seemed thoughtless to not even bring a card.

Ironically, the people who traveled the farthest (including a couple from overseas) all gave nice gifts.

Sometimes I take care of wedding gifts/cards after the party; it depends on my schedule.

Ok but the guy made a point that they weren’t giving a gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ICYMI: you don’t invite people to a far-flung wedding and expect a gift.

Heck, plenty of couples proactively convey “no gifts” these days.

Anyway, since you’ve commented multiple times that you would never ask about a gift, then why do you suddenly care? Weird.

Far flung? It was two hours away.
And.. these ppl are 65ish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married locally a few years ago. Over 80% of our guests lived in the DMV or within a couple of hours, so not what I’d consider a ‘destination’ wedding. We had several people, including a close family member who came completely empty handed. Not even a card. I honestly found it really rude: our registry was very reasonable and had multiple items that were under $30; a friend who is a student/on a tight budget got us a $10 item I was thrilled with. It wasn’t about the gifts, but it just seemed thoughtless to not even bring a card.

Ironically, the people who traveled the farthest (including a couple from overseas) all gave nice gifts.

Sometimes I take care of wedding gifts/cards after the party; it depends on my schedule.

Anonymous wrote:You know these people well enough to invite them to your sons wedding, they attended and spend hundreds of dollars on it, but that’s not good enough for you because they didn’t give a gift on top of that. You also didn’t address how long your son and his now wife had been cohabitating before the wedding. If this is going to be a dealbreaker for you, I’d say you’re shallow.

Anonymous wrote:ICYMI: you don’t invite people to a far-flung wedding and expect a gift.

Heck, plenty of couples proactively convey “no gifts” these days.

Anyway, since you’ve commented multiple times that you would never ask about a gift, then why do you suddenly care? Weird.

Anonymous wrote:

He (or more likely his wife) assumed you would ask your son what the Smiths gave the couple as a gift, so he was just trying to get out in front of it.

I would have not asked.
My point in explaining travel is that they didn't need to stay two days. They didn't need to uber because being at the hotel put everything in walkable distance. They chose the Airbnb. I get that some don't like hotels though.

Anonymous wrote:I got married locally a few years ago. Over 80% of our guests lived in the DMV or within a couple of hours, so not what I’d consider a ‘destination’ wedding. We had several people, including a close family member who came completely empty handed. Not even a card. I honestly found it really rude: our registry was very reasonable and had multiple items that were under $30; a friend who is a student/on a tight budget got us a $10 item I was thrilled with. It wasn’t about the gifts, but it just seemed thoughtless to not even bring a card.

Ironically, the people who traveled the farthest (including a couple from overseas) all gave nice gifts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s only in recent years that the etiquette mavens have been saying gifts are not required for a wedding, probably because of how common it now is to have to travel to attend a wedding. It used to be required to give a wedding gift, even if it was modest.

Maybe he told your son because he didn’t want your son to spend time trying to figure out if a gift got lost, stolen or is yet to come.

He did NOT tell my son. He told my husband. And now, I'm not sure if we need to mention it to son.