We split it 3 ways. My family, his, and us (bride & groom)

My parents paid for the wedding and my in laws paid for our honeymoon. But we were in our mid 20s, just out of grad school.

I plan to pay for our daughter’s wedding and offer same amount of money to our son.

Anonymous wrote:

No, "we" don't.

We told our kids we will contribute, but will not pay for their weddings. We have not saved up money for weddings. We hate and loathe those huge extravagant weddings. Half of the couples end up divorced anyway.

The tradition came because historically women were the property of their father and then were "given away" to their husband. So the bride's family paid for the wedding, and after that, the husband paid for the wife.

Terrible tradition. Women are not property.

Anonymous wrote:...of the bride's parents paying for the wedding??? It's 2026.

I feel like we're going backwards.

I got married 30 years ago. DH and I paid for the wedding. Neither of our families had money. We thought it was more equal that way, and we had a lovely, small wedding.

Anonymous wrote:We followed this tradition 30 years ago. We already have a wedding fund for all DCs- both boys and girls. They can use it however they would like.
We had an extravagant weekend affair for our wedding. Honestly, it was three wedding like events, including the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and morning after breakfast as everyone was invited to all three events.

My advice to DC is to have a casual, low cost affair and use the money for a house.

Why? Because you didn't enjoy your extravagant wedding?

I don’t believe this custom IS being continued, for most families? I think it was already becoming outdated a generation ago.

We will contribute an equal amount of “getting started money” to each of our three kids (2 sons, 1 daughter). This will also include any child that chooses NOT to marry (which is becoming more and more common these days). They can spend it on the wedding, home down payment etc.

We are not fans of large or extravagant weddings, and have a small extended family. Any push for a large wedding certainly will not be from us.

We got married 20 years ago in dc. I’m Indian but my husbands not. We mixed traditions in a low key and lower budget wedding with about 120 guests at a goregous mansion run by a nonprofit. It was still beautiful. My in-laws paid for rehearsal dinner. My parents paid for the wedding and reception. And my husbands aunts paid for the brunch, which was just so sweet of them.

Anonymous wrote:Agree, it is the brides who want large expensive weddings in order to show off their social status. There is no incentive for the groom or his family to pay for it.

Great point! No one ever says “groomzilla.” The original post must come from parents of a demanding daughter.

We followed this tradition 30 years ago. We already have a wedding fund for all DCs- both boys and girls. They can use it however they would like.
We had an extravagant weekend affair for our wedding. Honestly, it was three wedding like events, including the rehearsal dinner, wedding, and morning after breakfast as everyone was invited to all three events.

My advice to DC is to have a casual, low cost affair and use the money for a house.

Agree, it is the brides who want large expensive weddings in order to show off their social status. There is no incentive for the groom or his family to pay for it.

Social pressure to have a social media worthy event.

I don't see how this can be a burden. There's a custom, but no expectation. You can set whatever boundaries you want.

I have two sons (only) and I completely agree with you.

Common sense and general knowledge?

Anonymous wrote:Weddings being so expensive and overwhelming is one of the major reasons for delays and decline in marriages.

Source?

Weddings do not have to be expensive. The decline in marriages isn't about the cost of a wedding.