Anonymous wrote:Rip off the bandaid and do the full day. You’ve already made the hard decision to use daycare - now enjoy the benefits.

If you do half days, you still have to do all the prep (getting baby there and back, packing…), still expose the baby to germs, etc. If your work day is still disrupted, what’s the point.

I agree with this. If youre taking the baby to daycare you're already doing the hars transition part. Babies do not care if they are there a few extra hours. Youre pay for care youre not using for literally no reason.

Your wife is obviously anxious. Try to help her get over that. Presumably you discussed care and work hours prior to the baby being born. Remind her that your plan is working.

Fwiw 5 months is perfectly normal for full day care AND this is one of the easiest times of her live to have care. It generally gets harder!

If mom is working PT, can she schedule her hours in the first part of the day? And how does her take home pay compare to daycare expense?

Sacrifice financially and mom stays home with baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5 month old is in daycare now, my wife recently went back to work but she works a part time hourly job. I’m full time with a hybrid work schedule. She wants me to both drop our baby off and pick her up doing half days because she’s young and my wife is trying to ease her in to it. But this is not working, I have a varied schedule with lots of meetings, sometimes I need to be in the office, and it’s overall very disruptive to my work flow. My wife is part time but sometimes has a meeting in the early afternoon. I’m telling her that if she can’t pick up the baby halfway through the day then we will need to leave her at daycare all day. But she’s afraid of leaving our daughter there for so long. What do we do!!! This is so frustrating.

Dude. You need to make it work. Block your diary. Make it known you have pickup on such and such days at x hour and make them respect that. This is what normal workers do.

Signed, another dude who was doing that shit 20 years ago. It's not that hard.

Also, quit whining. Man up already.

Did you even read? Not an end of day pickup - a middle of the workday pickup.

DP

So what? How far away is this day care? It can't be that far. Block the time. This isn't hard.

It’s not hard, but it’s stupid. Baby sleep in the afternoon.

Baby might not sleep in the afternoon if it has to go through the transition of being taken at nap time.

I had my son in my work building daycare and would go down to nurse in the afternoon (I timed it out and it was faster than pumping). Sometimes he'd be so firmly napping I'd have to come back later

Anonymous wrote:Your wife should be a SAHM if she can't handle baby being in daycare.

Maybe that’s what she wants and OP won’t allow it. There is no way I would have sent my 5 month old to daycare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5 month old is in daycare now, my wife recently went back to work but she works a part time hourly job. I’m full time with a hybrid work schedule. She wants me to both drop our baby off and pick her up doing half days because she’s young and my wife is trying to ease her in to it. But this is not working, I have a varied schedule with lots of meetings, sometimes I need to be in the office, and it’s overall very disruptive to my work flow. My wife is part time but sometimes has a meeting in the early afternoon. I’m telling her that if she can’t pick up the baby halfway through the day then we will need to leave her at daycare all day. But she’s afraid of leaving our daughter there for so long. What do we do!!! This is so frustrating.

Dude. You need to make it work. Block your diary. Make it known you have pickup on such and such days at x hour and make them respect that. This is what normal workers do.

Signed, another dude who was doing that shit 20 years ago. It's not that hard.

Also, quit whining. Man up already.

OK, I agree but.... I think a schedule needs to be created. X and Y days YOU pick up baby at 12:30/1pm - and make that both a CONSISTENT day and time so YOU can plan to NEVER have meetings those 2 afternoons - block your schedule, etc. Pick the days when you are at a location closest to work and then will go home to (pretend to) finish work - because working at home isn't going to happen with a baby much of the time. Then the other 3 specific days your wife picks up - and that means SHE can't have afternoon meetings on her days, just like your days you can't have afternoon meetings.

It needs to be a consistent time so that the childcare and your baby work out a rhythm. Arriving to find your baby went down 30 minutes ago for a nap isn't helpful, BUT requiring a teacher/provider to keep a baby up way past when they need to sleep "because the parent is arriving soon" means a very sad and cranky baby who has been crying for 20-30 minutes, and that isn't good for baby or for the other children in the program who are listening to a crying baby.

AND... discuss that this will happen for one more month, then baby needs to stay a full day because your job is FULL TIME and you can't just have 2 afternoons you get no work done because you are picking up baby and caring for baby in the house. Also, you are paying for fulltime childcare, right? That gets expensive.

OR have your wife go back to work 5 days/week but half days if she is part time. That way the baby is in care only half the day. OR have baby only go to childcare the days your wife works and stay a full day.

This does not seem realistic or sustainable.

I would make the argument that the ability to work more efficiently during the day frees up time for both you (and your wife) to spend quality time with the baby when you are NOT working.

Is there something else you can take off of her plate, so she can give baby her full attention after work? Laundry, dinner, washing bottles, errands etc? Some of those things are far easier to mutitask during your workday as you have time- as opposed to caring for an infant (which is naturally going to be more unpredictable and disruptive to your work).

She is probably just feeling a bit guilty or worried about quality time (which she shouldn’t, but the feelings are normal as a new mom).

OP can you clarify:
Is mom asking for PT/half day for weeks on end or is she asking for baby to slowly integrate to FT over 2-3 weeks?

Rip off the bandaid and do the full day. You’ve already made the hard decision to use daycare - now enjoy the benefits.

If you do half days, you still have to do all the prep (getting baby there and back, packing…), still expose the baby to germs, etc. If your work day is still disrupted, what’s the point.

Anonymous wrote:Half days until six months or so isn’t unreasonable. We did part time until 1.

Decide with your wife how long half days are suitable, then adjust your schedules (both of you) accordingly. This will last a few weeks, not a few years, and is not going to be something you regret later.

But it doesn’t sound like they agreed to half days at all. It’s just something that Mom wants now.

Anonymous wrote:Our 5 month old is in daycare now, my wife recently went back to work but she works a part time hourly job. I’m full time with a hybrid work schedule. She wants me to both drop our baby off and pick her up doing half days because she’s young and my wife is trying to ease her in to it. But this is not working, I have a varied schedule with lots of meetings, sometimes I need to be in the office, and it’s overall very disruptive to my work flow. My wife is part time but sometimes has a meeting in the early afternoon. I’m telling her that if she can’t pick up the baby halfway through the day then we will need to leave her at daycare all day. But she’s afraid of leaving our daughter there for so long. What do we do!!! This is so frustrating.

This is normal but you both need to figure it out. She should be slowly acclimated. All providers will tell you this and it is best for your daughter. It should look something like 2hrs to 3 in week one, 3 to 5 week 2, 5 to 7/8 week 3.

Buckle up buttercup. Daycare is the most coverage you will EVER have.

Who are these people whose babies nap well at this age, especially at daycare? But if baby is really a good napper, all the more reason to be flexible and take baby home to nap in the afternoons and get some light work done. Baby can spend more time at daycare when more wakeful.

Half days until six months or so isn’t unreasonable. We did part time until 1.

Decide with your wife how long half days are suitable, then adjust your schedules (both of you) accordingly. This will last a few weeks, not a few years, and is not going to be something you regret later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 months is very young for institutionalized care.

Stop.

It is very young for that kind of care. Just because a lot of people have to do it doesn’t make it any less true.

It’s actually a perfect time for care because they are asleep most of the day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5 month old is in daycare now, my wife recently went back to work but she works a part time hourly job. I’m full time with a hybrid work schedule. She wants me to both drop our baby off and pick her up doing half days because she’s young and my wife is trying to ease her in to it. But this is not working, I have a varied schedule with lots of meetings, sometimes I need to be in the office, and it’s overall very disruptive to my work flow. My wife is part time but sometimes has a meeting in the early afternoon. I’m telling her that if she can’t pick up the baby halfway through the day then we will need to leave her at daycare all day. But she’s afraid of leaving our daughter there for so long. What do we do!!! This is so frustrating.

Dude. You need to make it work. Block your diary. Make it known you have pickup on such and such days at x hour and make them respect that. This is what normal workers do.

Signed, another dude who was doing that shit 20 years ago. It's not that hard.

Also, quit whining. Man up already.

Did you even read? Not an end of day pickup - a middle of the workday pickup.

DP

So what? How far away is this day care? It can't be that far. Block the time. This isn't hard.

It’s not hard, but it’s stupid. Baby sleep in the afternoon.