Anonymous wrote:If they were bad or negligent at parenting, communicating, judgment, and doing adult things, probably yes.

That doesn’t get better if divorced.

That doesn’t get better for you, with “co-parenting.”

That doesn’t get better for you or the kids with new dates, 2nd spouses, or blended families.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I can't believe how many people support your idea to having this relationship limp along on life support. Why don't you want better for yourself? I know it's unfair, it's not how things were suppose to end up, but have some self respect and accept reality!

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I think the underlying reason is that he probably never really wanted this marriage. He’s an extreme introvert and kinda tried me on for a while thinking it would be good for him. But 15 years in, he wants to read his books, hike and pursue his hobbies. He has very few needs for people—we have “couple friends” who we see frequently and he has a few of his own friends who he sees occasionally…but social interaction is not high on his list of priorities.

He is a very good father—quiet, but attentive and interested. I think he spends all of the emotional energy he has on being connected with the kids and has nothing left for me, friends or other relationships. He is truly good with the kids—we hike together a lot as a family, he comes to all sporting events, he talks to them about their days, he plans vacations with their interests in mind, etc. I handle all kid logistics but he handles lots of other logistics—e.g. vacation planning, home repairs, more than 50% of the cooking, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has told me that he’s not in love with me and that he doesn’t see that changing with therapy or anything else. He’s civil to me most of the time (occasionally rude/condescending, but nothing too terrible). About a year ago, he told me he wants to move out and I convinced him to stay for the sake of the kids. Today he told me again that he doesn’t see our relationship changing and that he feels that we both deserve to be happier.

Should I try to convince him to stay again? The idea of breaking my kids’ hearts and destroying their stability kills me. I can not imagine not seeing them everyday and splitting every vacation, every visit from college, etc.

We don’t have a lot of conflict, and we get along around the kids. We do lots of stuff together as a family and I genuinely enjoy those times. I think our kids would truly be shocked if we split, as would our friends—we appear to be a solid, caring couple. But the second we are alone, we just do our own things and completely disconnect form one an other. We don’t have sx, don’t cuddle, etc. We do share info about our work, our days, etc. our household isn’t tense or angry. It’s just that there’s no connection between us except for the kids.

Putting the financial hit aside, would you fight to stay in this marriage. Thinking of splitting time with my kids is breaking my heart!!

Op you are being selfish. Maybe part of reason why your husband no longer likes you, let along love you. Put this man out of his misery. You both deserve better. Your kids deserve better. You are teaching them a lot with your actions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has told me that he’s not in love with me and that he doesn’t see that changing with therapy or anything else. He’s civil to me most of the time (occasionally rude/condescending, but nothing too terrible). About a year ago, he told me he wants to move out and I convinced him to stay for the sake of the kids. Today he told me again that he doesn’t see our relationship changing and that he feels that we both deserve to be happier.

Should I try to convince him to stay again? The idea of breaking my kids’ hearts and destroying their stability kills me. I can not imagine not seeing them everyday and splitting every vacation, every visit from college, etc.

We don’t have a lot of conflict, and we get along around the kids. We do lots of stuff together as a family and I genuinely enjoy those times. I think our kids would truly be shocked if we split, as would our friends—we appear to be a solid, caring couple. But the second we are alone, we just do our own things and completely disconnect form one an other. We don’t have sx, don’t cuddle, etc. We do share info about our work, our days, etc. our household isn’t tense or angry. It’s just that there’s no connection between us except for the kids.

Putting the financial hit aside, would you fight to stay in this marriage. Thinking of splitting time with my kids is breaking my heart!!

Op you are being selfish. Maybe part of reason why your husband no longer likes you, let along love you. Put this man out of his misery. You both deserve better. Your kids deserve better. You are teaching them a lot with your actions.

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry, this so very heartbreaking. Something similar happened to me, and I found out he was having an affair. Can that be?

Anonymous wrote:My husband has told me that he’s not in love with me and that he doesn’t see that changing with therapy or anything else. He’s civil to me most of the time (occasionally rude/condescending, but nothing too terrible). About a year ago, he told me he wants to move out and I convinced him to stay for the sake of the kids. Today he told me again that he doesn’t see our relationship changing and that he feels that we both deserve to be happier.

Should I try to convince him to stay again? The idea of breaking my kids’ hearts and destroying their stability kills me. I can not imagine not seeing them everyday and splitting every vacation, every visit from college, etc.

We don’t have a lot of conflict, and we get along around the kids. We do lots of stuff together as a family and I genuinely enjoy those times. I think our kids would truly be shocked if we split, as would our friends—we appear to be a solid, caring couple. But the second we are alone, we just do our own things and completely disconnect form one an other. We don’t have sx, don’t cuddle, etc. We do share info about our work, our days, etc. our household isn’t tense or angry. It’s just that there’s no connection between us except for the kids.

Putting the financial hit aside, would you fight to stay in this marriage. Thinking of splitting time with my kids is breaking my heart!!

Anonymous wrote:Why in the world do you want a person next to you who doesn't want to be with you?
Imagine your kids having to stay in relationships they don't want to stay. I hated that my parents stayed together til we were 18.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I think the underlying reason is that he probably never really wanted this marriage. He’s an extreme introvert and kinda tried me on for a while thinking it would be good for him. But 15 years in, he wants to read his books, hike and pursue his hobbies. He has very few needs for people—we have “couple friends” who we see frequently and he has a few of his own friends who he sees occasionally…but social interaction is not high on his list of priorities.

He is a very good father—quiet, but attentive and interested. I think he spends all of the emotional energy he has on being connected with the kids and has nothing left for me, friends or other relationships. He is truly good with the kids—we hike together a lot as a family, he comes to all sporting events, he talks to them about their days, he plans vacations with their interests in mind, etc. I handle all kid logistics but he handles lots of other logistics—e.g. vacation planning, home repairs, more than 50% of the cooking, etc.

I would seriously build an extension or move to a bigger house. Give him space. Literally.