Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Neither of us have living mothers. His mom died before we married, so I don’t know if he ever celebrated her. I have talked extensively with him about this matter, and him not participating is not due to a lack of communication or understanding. I’m exhausted to be honest. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to want my spouse to say thanks once a year for being a good parent. oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m just gonna celebrate alone with the girls. It just feels embracing to be treated like this every year and for the girls to see it.

We do have sex, but not as often as we used to.

Why is Mother’s Day so important to you? Why are you making it such a huge deal that it’s turning into a major issue in your relationship?
If you have a solid relationship with your husband, you are being valued and celebrated as a mom on various occasions throughout the year, not being honored on Mother’s Day shouldn’t be a big deal. However, if that’s not the case, and you’re not even feeling appreciated on Mother’s Day, then you might have a more serious problem in your marriage than just Mother’s Day.

Does he celebrate you on Valentine’s Day, your Birthday, Women’s Day, Thanksgiving, etc., but only neglect to recognize Mother’s Day?
I would find that hard to believe.

You have a much larger issue in your marriage than just Mother’s Day.
You need to address it. Don’t e distracted by Mother’s Day.

You can please just pin this for all these future Mother's Day and Valentine's Day posts? These holidays are generally only a big deal to people who aren't treated well/celebrated/respected throughout the year, in which case the failure to acknowledge the holiday is not the problem you actually have.

No need to pin, somebody makes this point every year, in every single one of these threads. The reality is that few, if any, husbands who celebrate and appreciate their wives all year round are also doing NOTHING to acknowledge the day. Sure, maybe there's no need for overpriced, overcrowded brunches or $$$ gifts, but these guys are at least getting their wives a card (or helping kids make one).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Neither of us have living mothers. His mom died before we married, so I don’t know if he ever celebrated her. I have talked extensively with him about this matter, and him not participating is not due to a lack of communication or understanding. I’m exhausted to be honest. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to want my spouse to say thanks once a year for being a good parent. oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m just gonna celebrate alone with the girls. It just feels embracing to be treated like this every year and for the girls to see it.

We do have sex, but not as often as we used to.

Why is Mother’s Day so important to you? Why are you making it such a huge deal that it’s turning into a major issue in your relationship?
If you have a solid relationship with your husband, you are being valued and celebrated as a mom on various occasions throughout the year, not being honored on Mother’s Day shouldn’t be a big deal. However, if that’s not the case, and you’re not even feeling appreciated on Mother’s Day, then you might have a more serious problem in your marriage than just Mother’s Day.

Does he celebrate you on Valentine’s Day, your Birthday, Women’s Day, Thanksgiving, etc., but only neglect to recognize Mother’s Day?
I would find that hard to believe.

You have a much larger issue in your marriage than just Mother’s Day.
You need to address it. Don’t e distracted by Mother’s Day.

You can please just pin this for all these future Mother's Day and Valentine's Day posts? These holidays are generally only a big deal to people who aren't treated well/celebrated/respected throughout the year, in which case the failure to acknowledge the holiday is not the problem you actually have.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Neither of us have living mothers. His mom died before we married, so I don’t know if he ever celebrated her. I have talked extensively with him about this matter, and him not participating is not due to a lack of communication or understanding. I’m exhausted to be honest. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to want my spouse to say thanks once a year for being a good parent. oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m just gonna celebrate alone with the girls. It just feels embracing to be treated like this every year and for the girls to see it.

We do have sex, but not as often as we used to.

When you "talk extensively" with him about Mother's Day, have you ever asked him how he feels about it? Given the fact that he lost his mom young, he may have a lot of sadness surrounding the holiday. For the first Father's Day after my dad died my husband very kindly said to me that I could do whatever I needed to do that day and it didn't need to be celebrating him while I was still grieving the loss of my own dad. It sounds like you and your husband don't actually communicate, despite "talking extensively." I think you need to be in therapy together because if you're saying the same thing over and over again and it's not landing then you two aren't speaking the same language.

Anonymous wrote:What’d I’d do…say “that’s fine, I’ll celebrate myself” and then buy myself a 10k handbag.

I did this after DH did nothing for my first mothers day. Not a $10k handbag but I bought myself a very nice pair of diamond earrings when I'd have been happy with flowers and a card from him. You bet he learned from that and has not fumbled the day since (our oldest is a teen).

Very good points above by PP.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Neither of us have living mothers. His mom died before we married, so I don’t know if he ever celebrated her. I have talked extensively with him about this matter, and him not participating is not due to a lack of communication or understanding. I’m exhausted to be honest. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to want my spouse to say thanks once a year for being a good parent. oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m just gonna celebrate alone with the girls. It just feels embracing to be treated like this every year and for the girls to see it.

We do have sex, but not as often as we used to.

Why is Mother’s Day so important to you? Why are you making it such a huge deal that it’s turning into a major issue in your relationship?
If you have a solid relationship with your husband, you are being valued and celebrated as a mom on various occasions throughout the year, not being honored on Mother’s Day shouldn’t be a big deal. However, if that’s not the case, and you’re not even feeling appreciated on Mother’s Day, then you might have a more serious problem in your marriage than just Mother’s Day.

Does he celebrate you on Valentine’s Day, your Birthday, Women’s Day, Thanksgiving, etc., but only neglect to recognize Mother’s Day?
I would find that hard to believe.

You have a much larger issue in your marriage than just Mother’s Day.
You need to address it. Don’t e distracted by Mother’s Day.

Anonymous wrote:Quit doing Father’s Day.

Change the day to be an excursion you spend with the family: a brunch, a picnic, a day trip that you like. This takes to pressure off of gifts. Buy yourself something if you want. In a few years the kids can do something on their own for you.

Right now you’re set up for disappointment. Change the narrative so it’s a positive experience for everyone. Hugs.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You married wrong.

Why?
It’s the kids who should acknowledge it.
The wife is not his mom.

Stop playing dumb. A five year old isn't going to know how to do this on their own nor can they take themselves to the store to get some flowers and a card.

Stop thinking that the only way to celebrate is to buy her a gift.
The kids could simply hug their mom and wish her happy Mother’s Day. That alone is so sweet. Some people don’t need more than that to feel loved.

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys have sex still?

You know they do…
OPs still putting out.

What’d I’d do…say “that’s fine, I’ll celebrate myself” and then buy myself a 10k handbag.

OP here. Neither of us have living mothers. His mom died before we married, so I don’t know if he ever celebrated her. I have talked extensively with him about this matter, and him not participating is not due to a lack of communication or understanding. I’m exhausted to be honest. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to want my spouse to say thanks once a year for being a good parent. oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it.

I’m just gonna celebrate alone with the girls. It just feels embracing to be treated like this every year and for the girls to see it.

We do have sex, but not as often as we used to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys have sex still?

I’ve always been too chicken to ask this (even anonymously) but these threads pop up every year and I’ve long wondered if these DHs who do nothing for Mother’s Day are in sexless marriages.

I asked because 1) men feel appreciated thorough sex and 2) if he isn’t appreciating you, why are you sleeping with him?

Daughters would be fun to take to a Mother’s Day tea, to get a mani/pedi or even to a Princess type movie. Have fun with your girls and leave that old sour puss husband at home.

Do you recognize your husband’s mom or your mom? If so do you make sure the kids sign cards for them?

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys have sex still?

I’ve always been too chicken to ask this (even anonymously) but these threads pop up every year and I’ve long wondered if these DHs who do nothing for Mother’s Day are in sexless marriages.