Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for anything for your child. It's basically a sort of day dreaming that does not affect anyone at all. Very odd to police your own thoughts.

"Hoping" for a wedding, especially to the extent of putting 6 figures aside for it, actually does affect people -- it's a very large financial action taken in connection with and in support of outdated/dying patriarchal thinking.

Wtf. You people sound like you aren’t close to your kids. I’m still saving for college for my teens but once I’ve cleared that hurdle, I’ll happily start saving for a wedding. And I’ll tell my kids that I’m doing it. And if they choose not to get married, I’ll still love them just as much as if they do. My love is unconditional but weddings are expensive AF and I think they will be thrilled to know that if that day comes that we have something saved to help.

$40k in 1997. About 180 people in DMV. Open bar, big hotel reception. Dad was wealthy and had no qualms paying for it.

I’ve started a fund to save for my kids and direct all my income from my side hustle/hobby into it. Not telling them and will just have as a surprise to offer to them. And if they don’t need it for whatever reason, will be a hell of a vacation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for anything for your child. It's basically a sort of day dreaming that does not affect anyone at all. Very odd to police your own thoughts.

"Hoping" for a wedding, especially to the extent of putting 6 figures aside for it, actually does affect people -- it's a very large financial action taken in connection with and in support of outdated/dying patriarchal thinking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

I think that in 2026 this is fairly accurate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid for three of our daughters' weddings and they all chose something different. None has any regrets. The cheapest of the three was about 40k. The other two were around 100k.

Out of curiosity, would you have appreciated if groom’s parents offered to help with costs?

I'm a MOB and like us, the groom's family has money. We don't want or need "help with costs" of the wedding. But I do hope they give some sort of outstanding gift to the couple.

It sounds like you expect it. Like they owe it to you or something.

No it doesn't. Not PP

Around $25-30K
30 years ago
150 guests
$15K was the hotel reception (sit down lunch, open bar, cake, cocktail hour, limo, suite)
$1,200K for the dress and veil
10-15K for favors, flowers, additional limos, DJ, live musician, ceremony singer/pianist, church (weren’t members), programs, nails, hair, makeup for bridal party, shoes, bridal party gifts, photographer

Regret not having a videographer. I thought the pictures would be enough and didn’t want to ask my parents for another dime.

It was a good day. Still married.

$50k
100 guests
2004

no regrets

$50K in 2011.

My parents paid and could afford it; they were happy to do it. It was a beautiful wedding and I wouldn't change a thing.

We're celebrating our 15 year anniversary in a few months!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for anything for your child. It's basically a sort of day dreaming that does not affect anyone at all. Very odd to police your own thoughts.

Well, again, you're not hoping for that for your child. You're hoping for that for you.

Is hoping your kid goes to college "hoping that for you"?

What about hoping you will have a healthy relationship with your child after they are grown up?

Got married in the mid/late 90s.

My dress was $800 plus alterations

Cocktail hour/Dinner/open bar/cake, etc. at the hotel for 120 guests was $10k+. Bridal suite was included.

Flowers and DJ…no clue. Maybe $3-4k?

Photographer/videographer was probably another $3-4k?

It was an awesome bash! Relatives still talk about it.

I’ve encouraged my kids to have a low key event. No clue what weddings cost these days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for anything for your child. It's basically a sort of day dreaming that does not affect anyone at all. Very odd to police your own thoughts.

Well, again, you're not hoping for that for your child. You're hoping for that for you.

It doesn't matter. Thoughts are thoughts and not orders or demands.

Of course. Just so you recognize the selfishness of them and are careful not to turn those thoughts into pressure on your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for anything for your child. It's basically a sort of day dreaming that does not affect anyone at all. Very odd to police your own thoughts.

Well, again, you're not hoping for that for your child. You're hoping for that for you.

It doesn't matter. Thoughts are thoughts and not orders or demands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for anything for your child. It's basically a sort of day dreaming that does not affect anyone at all. Very odd to police your own thoughts.

Well, again, you're not hoping for that for your child. You're hoping for that for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

LOL now you're the boss of what people can "hope" for? And you think you are so open minded. LOL.

No, I'm not telling you what you can hope for. Hope for whatever you want. But let's be clear about one thing. Hoping that your kid gets married is about you. It's not about them. So it's a selfish kind of hope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for anything for your child. It's basically a sort of day dreaming that does not affect anyone at all. Very odd to police your own thoughts.