Anonymous
05/11/2026 19:56
Subject: "fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Some of these things are just ripoffs, which is why I have trouble doing them.
Like the prices are dramatically inflated so strivers can feel superior.
As my income has increased substantially, I still struggled with feeling ripped off. For instance, as a celebration, my wife and I went to the Four Seasons for 90 minute massages. It was nearly $1,000 with tip and just felt like a waste. Like it was nice, but it wasn’t thaaaaat nice.
I mean ... that's not where you go for massages.
Tell me where to go?
Where are you? In DC Eye St Massage has therapists that are all pretty much 10/10.
Not far from my work. Thank you!
Anonymous
05/11/2026 19:53
Subject: Re:"fancy" experiences
Yes. I make around $100k and occasionally we travel or do nice things like afternoon tea etc. We don’t do it often because I dint have the money but even if I did (I will soon when my son finishes college), we still will only do them occasionally. I never want myself or my son to get used to nice things. Then they won’t be nice anymore.
Anonymous
05/11/2026 19:05
Subject: "fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Some of these things are just ripoffs, which is why I have trouble doing them.
Like the prices are dramatically inflated so strivers can feel superior.
As my income has increased substantially, I still struggled with feeling ripped off. For instance, as a celebration, my wife and I went to the Four Seasons for 90 minute massages. It was nearly $1,000 with tip and just felt like a waste. Like it was nice, but it wasn’t thaaaaat nice.
I mean ... that's not where you go for massages.
Tell me where to go?
Where are you? In DC Eye St Massage has therapists that are all pretty much 10/10.
Anonymous
05/11/2026 18:35
Subject: "fancy" experiences
The more you have to stretch for something like that the more likely it is to disappoint you. Tea at the Willard is fun but tea with a good friend at Starbucks is better than tea at the Willard alone. If the price of it is making you feel like it needs to be AMAZING, you won’t enjoy it.
Anonymous
05/11/2026 18:05
Subject: "fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:OP I agree with others that it really depends on what feels of value to you. I haven't personally spent $ on what you listed here but definitely spend a lot on travel because I really enjoy certain experiences. Or I don't usually go out for an expensive meal but with visiting friends then yes, because that whole experience feels really fun and I don't think about the $ during it really. Others value concerts, shows, meals/tea, really expensive gym or other membership, etc. To each their own.
+1 I love occasional YOLO events like a special tea like the one OP described and self-care like massages and my gym membership. But I don't don't see the value in $1000/night hotels and luxury cars. To each their own.
Anonymous
05/11/2026 17:58
Subject: "fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:If your hhi is under 300k, do you sometimes do something like a tea at a beautiful hotel, a round of golf (if you golf, or whatever equivalent) at a local resort, a concert that costs $500/ticket...? I never do any of these things. I was at a gorgeous hotel last week just passing by and saw the tea and it looked like an experience I would enjoy, but I find it very hard spending $250+ on a single event over in one hour or two.
We celebrated 2 special things that happened at Pineapple and Pearls. It was just under $1,000 for dinner for the two of us (with no alcohol). It was a fun evening, the food was great, we both were glad we did it, and, we both don't have the need to ever do it again.
Anonymous
05/11/2026 17:26
Subject: "fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m super frugal, like cut my own hair, wear drugstore makeup if at all, nondesigner purse I use for years, but I did go to the Little Inn at Washington to see the hype of a three Michelin star restaurant. It was fun, whimsical and charming. I wouldn’t go again but I’m glad I did.
I've been twice over the past 20 years or so and enjoyed it both times, but I don't know enough about food to appreciate it and I don't drink, so I probably won't go again. That big cow-shaped cheese cart that lets out "mooooo" is amazing, though. I loved that thing. I would consider going again just to see it and get some cheese from it, lol (that is something that I actually do appreciate, a cheese course in lieu of dessert).
FWIW Little Inn at Washington was overrated and lost a star recently. You'll need to go elsewhere to get a real 3 star experience.
Anonymous
05/10/2026 17:59
Subject: "fancy" experiences
HHI $270K. I took my mom on a Greek Island cruise for her 75th birthday. Most luxurious thing I ever did. Most all other vacations are road trip/camping/staying with friends.
Anonymous
05/10/2026 01:13
Subject: Re:"fancy" experiences
My friend is debating going to see the Knicks in the next round - tickets start at like $600 for nosebleed seats in NYC - lifelong fan, Knicks playing great, she used to live in NYC but lives in DC now - but it seems like a lot of money. I hope she does it - YOLO !
Anonymous
05/08/2026 20:07
Subject: Re:"fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My HHI is under $100K, and I went to a fancy tea once but someone else paid. I would never pay $500 for a concert ticket. There was a year when I survived on $19k and I kept telling myself things I wanted were "for other people". And even though I'm doing much better financially now, I still believe that. Regular people don't fly on private planes. Regular people don't have weekly cleaning ladies. Regular people don't use Waymo. Or regularly get boba or whatever else. I have a cousin who joined her county's ski club and went on skip trips this winter. She's always posting pictures of her eating /drinking out with friends. Bars, wineries, restaurants. I can't afford that. That's for other people, not me.
Accurate ^^. We've all been sold a lie with regard to what a "regular" lifestyle is, thanks to SM. That lie was always there in marketing, but with SM it's taken off like never before and convinced us we are missing out on things that everyone else is doing, when everyone else is in fact not doing those things.
Hell, I don't even know what Waymo is.
I think it started with reality tv shows, before social media. Waymo is a self-driving car. It only exists in some cities, and is popular in mine.
Waymo's are not expensive or "fancy" though, it's just a robot Uber that is often cheaper.
Anonymous
05/08/2026 12:32
Subject: Re:"fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My HHI is under $100K, and I went to a fancy tea once but someone else paid. I would never pay $500 for a concert ticket. There was a year when I survived on $19k and I kept telling myself things I wanted were "for other people". And even though I'm doing much better financially now, I still believe that. Regular people don't fly on private planes. Regular people don't have weekly cleaning ladies. Regular people don't use Waymo. Or regularly get boba or whatever else. I have a cousin who joined her county's ski club and went on skip trips this winter. She's always posting pictures of her eating /drinking out with friends. Bars, wineries, restaurants. I can't afford that. That's for other people, not me.
Accurate ^^. We've all been sold a lie with regard to what a "regular" lifestyle is, thanks to SM. That lie was always there in marketing, but with SM it's taken off like never before and convinced us we are missing out on things that everyone else is doing, when everyone else is in fact not doing those things.
Hell, I don't even know what Waymo is.
I think it started with reality tv shows, before social media. Waymo is a self-driving car. It only exists in some cities, and is popular in mine.
Anonymous
05/08/2026 12:28
Subject: "fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Some of these things are just ripoffs, which is why I have trouble doing them.
Like the prices are dramatically inflated so strivers can feel superior.
As my income has increased substantially, I still struggled with feeling ripped off. For instance, as a celebration, my wife and I went to the Four Seasons for 90 minute massages. It was nearly $1,000 with tip and just felt like a waste. Like it was nice, but it wasn’t thaaaaat nice.
I mean ... that's not where you go for massages.
Tell me where to go?
Smaller private places--search for a high quality massage. It will almost always be half the price of the fancy places.
Completely unhelpful “recommendation.”
Anonymous
05/08/2026 12:27
Subject: "fancy" experiences
OP I agree with others that it really depends on what feels of value to you. I haven't personally spent $ on what you listed here but definitely spend a lot on travel because I really enjoy certain experiences. Or I don't usually go out for an expensive meal but with visiting friends then yes, because that whole experience feels really fun and I don't think about the $ during it really. Others value concerts, shows, meals/tea, really expensive gym or other membership, etc. To each their own.
Anonymous
05/08/2026 12:26
Subject: "fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Some of these things are just ripoffs, which is why I have trouble doing them.
Like the prices are dramatically inflated so strivers can feel superior.
As my income has increased substantially, I still struggled with feeling ripped off. For instance, as a celebration, my wife and I went to the Four Seasons for 90 minute massages. It was nearly $1,000 with tip and just felt like a waste. Like it was nice, but it wasn’t thaaaaat nice.
I mean ... that's not where you go for massages.
Tell me where to go?
Smaller private places--search for a high quality massage. It will almost always be half the price of the fancy places.
Anonymous
05/08/2026 12:24
Subject: "fancy" experiences
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Some of these things are just ripoffs, which is why I have trouble doing them.
Like the prices are dramatically inflated so strivers can feel superior.
As my income has increased substantially, I still struggled with feeling ripped off. For instance, as a celebration, my wife and I went to the Four Seasons for 90 minute massages. It was nearly $1,000 with tip and just felt like a waste. Like it was nice, but it wasn’t thaaaaat nice.
And you are right to think that. You can find great (possibly better) massages for $150-160 for a 90 min massage. You just won't have the whole "spa experience" with sauna/hot tub etc. but I'd do that and enjoy 2 massages for each of you for the same price. I'd rather have more massages and screw the "experience".