Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a young June girl, aka currently a 3yr old. It’s a mucky birthday for TT, but all the schools you mentioned should be attainable if you really want to send her to independent k next year. Is your preschool a heavy feeder in Sacred Heart, Nightingale, or CGPS? I just cannot imagine a PSD saying those schools aren’t attainable to the parents of a *three year old.* I know young summer birthdays at all of them and Sacred Heart even has the pre-k option. It doesn’t make sense.

That said, I have a June 2021 girl and we didn’t apply this year. I’ve been through this process and know the schools and have older kids. I cannot stress enough how much social-emotional readiness impacts school. Forget about in kindergarten (but don’t, really— think about the size of these schools, the length of the day, the amount of transitions they go through…) but really think about middle school. This isn’t about academics— it’s about maturity, puberty, executive functioning, social media, and a hundred other things that don’t even exist for us to worry about yet… if your concern keeping her in preschool is academic boredom, 1) you’re at the wrong preschool because a good one will keep a 5s classroom academically engaged and 2) consider the social-emotional possibilities she could confront as the youngest vs the oldest.

With my first I didn’t get it and tried to push the young, quiet, summer birthday (who was reading at 3) through the process because academically, ready! It didn’t work and it was the best thing that ever happened. It really opened my eyes to the social-emotional component of their growth and what a gift it was to let that develop before sending them to kindergarten. Just food for thought from a mom who has walked the path.

We have a young July and at our TT school, about half the class with summer birthdays are “young” summer birthdays, the other half from the previous year. In some cases, a few of the younger kids even come across as more advanced than some of the older ones, so it does seem to be very child dependent at least on academics but socially they all get along and have friend groups, and my kid is thriving.

We have yet to go through middle school but so far we are pretty happy with our experience. What are the types of social experiences within for instance puberty or social media do you think gets especially tricky? I would have thought as they get older it evens out even more

To be clear, I was never talking about academics, strictly social-emotional. In my experience you see young in k/1 and then it evens out. And then you see it again in 7/8. Your kid is a year younger than many peers. When will the older peers get smart phones? When will they get Snapchat (or whatever iteration of that exists at the time)? When will they maneuver themselves independently around the city? When will they go to the club dances, loft parties, start dating, start drinking… and when will your child push back on you because “peer X (old summer) who is in the same grade as me is allowed to do Y and I should be to.”

It definitely doesn’t even out.

Nope. Parent of a June boy. He was tall and smart but socially immature in pre-k. Decided to continue to K rather than holding back. By middle school you have no idea who the older and younger kids are. My kid is now in HS and thinking about his friends it is completely random. It is actually less of an issue than in the suburbs where being late to drive can be an impediment.

Did your kid go to private or public?

Redshirt

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a young June girl, aka currently a 3yr old. It’s a mucky birthday for TT, but all the schools you mentioned should be attainable if you really want to send her to independent k next year. Is your preschool a heavy feeder in Sacred Heart, Nightingale, or CGPS? I just cannot imagine a PSD saying those schools aren’t attainable to the parents of a *three year old.* I know young summer birthdays at all of them and Sacred Heart even has the pre-k option. It doesn’t make sense.

That said, I have a June 2021 girl and we didn’t apply this year. I’ve been through this process and know the schools and have older kids. I cannot stress enough how much social-emotional readiness impacts school. Forget about in kindergarten (but don’t, really— think about the size of these schools, the length of the day, the amount of transitions they go through…) but really think about middle school. This isn’t about academics— it’s about maturity, puberty, executive functioning, social media, and a hundred other things that don’t even exist for us to worry about yet… if your concern keeping her in preschool is academic boredom, 1) you’re at the wrong preschool because a good one will keep a 5s classroom academically engaged and 2) consider the social-emotional possibilities she could confront as the youngest vs the oldest.

With my first I didn’t get it and tried to push the young, quiet, summer birthday (who was reading at 3) through the process because academically, ready! It didn’t work and it was the best thing that ever happened. It really opened my eyes to the social-emotional component of their growth and what a gift it was to let that develop before sending them to kindergarten. Just food for thought from a mom who has walked the path.

We have a young July and at our TT school, about half the class with summer birthdays are “young” summer birthdays, the other half from the previous year. In some cases, a few of the younger kids even come across as more advanced than some of the older ones, so it does seem to be very child dependent at least on academics but socially they all get along and have friend groups, and my kid is thriving.

We have yet to go through middle school but so far we are pretty happy with our experience. What are the types of social experiences within for instance puberty or social media do you think gets especially tricky? I would have thought as they get older it evens out even more

To be clear, I was never talking about academics, strictly social-emotional. In my experience you see young in k/1 and then it evens out. And then you see it again in 7/8. Your kid is a year younger than many peers. When will the older peers get smart phones? When will they get Snapchat (or whatever iteration of that exists at the time)? When will they maneuver themselves independently around the city? When will they go to the club dances, loft parties, start dating, start drinking… and when will your child push back on you because “peer X (old summer) who is in the same grade as me is allowed to do Y and I should be to.”

It definitely doesn’t even out.

Nope. Parent of a June boy. He was tall and smart but socially immature in pre-k. Decided to continue to K rather than holding back. By middle school you have no idea who the older and younger kids are. My kid is now in HS and thinking about his friends it is completely random. It is actually less of an issue than in the suburbs where being late to drive can be an impediment.

I’m currently living a different experience. I can tell you who the younger kids are and it was noticeable in 7th (the big bar/bat mitzvah year and club dance year). To over-generalize, with the girls it was related to who had phones and access to social media/apps. The boys add in executive function. Happy you haven’t experienced it— I didn’t even consider the drivers license because it’s NYC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a young June girl, aka currently a 3yr old. It’s a mucky birthday for TT, but all the schools you mentioned should be attainable if you really want to send her to independent k next year. Is your preschool a heavy feeder in Sacred Heart, Nightingale, or CGPS? I just cannot imagine a PSD saying those schools aren’t attainable to the parents of a *three year old.* I know young summer birthdays at all of them and Sacred Heart even has the pre-k option. It doesn’t make sense.

That said, I have a June 2021 girl and we didn’t apply this year. I’ve been through this process and know the schools and have older kids. I cannot stress enough how much social-emotional readiness impacts school. Forget about in kindergarten (but don’t, really— think about the size of these schools, the length of the day, the amount of transitions they go through…) but really think about middle school. This isn’t about academics— it’s about maturity, puberty, executive functioning, social media, and a hundred other things that don’t even exist for us to worry about yet… if your concern keeping her in preschool is academic boredom, 1) you’re at the wrong preschool because a good one will keep a 5s classroom academically engaged and 2) consider the social-emotional possibilities she could confront as the youngest vs the oldest.

With my first I didn’t get it and tried to push the young, quiet, summer birthday (who was reading at 3) through the process because academically, ready! It didn’t work and it was the best thing that ever happened. It really opened my eyes to the social-emotional component of their growth and what a gift it was to let that develop before sending them to kindergarten. Just food for thought from a mom who has walked the path.

We have a young July and at our TT school, about half the class with summer birthdays are “young” summer birthdays, the other half from the previous year. In some cases, a few of the younger kids even come across as more advanced than some of the older ones, so it does seem to be very child dependent at least on academics but socially they all get along and have friend groups, and my kid is thriving.

We have yet to go through middle school but so far we are pretty happy with our experience. What are the types of social experiences within for instance puberty or social media do you think gets especially tricky? I would have thought as they get older it evens out even more

To be clear, I was never talking about academics, strictly social-emotional. In my experience you see young in k/1 and then it evens out. And then you see it again in 7/8. Your kid is a year younger than many peers. When will the older peers get smart phones? When will they get Snapchat (or whatever iteration of that exists at the time)? When will they maneuver themselves independently around the city? When will they go to the club dances, loft parties, start dating, start drinking… and when will your child push back on you because “peer X (old summer) who is in the same grade as me is allowed to do Y and I should be to.”

It definitely doesn’t even out.

Nope. Parent of a June boy. He was tall and smart but socially immature in pre-k. Decided to continue to K rather than holding back. By middle school you have no idea who the older and younger kids are. My kid is now in HS and thinking about his friends it is completely random. It is actually less of an issue than in the suburbs where being late to drive can be an impediment.

Sometimes what we see at home doesn’t match how the child behaves in school where things are busier, more chaotic, noisy, and teachers’ attention is divided.
Having said that, I am experiencing something similar but for different reasons. My kid was flagged for speech, OT, you name it. They were evaluated by top known speech pathologist who said they can benefit from some 1:1 speech sessions but they were achieving very high scores in their assessment. So go figure. Child gets easily distracted in the chaos of the class, too open ended. We will apply to all that we want and have a mix of reach, targets, and some safety schools. We have an older child at a SS TT (opposite gender) so we know what we have to do. But we also know how difficult the landscape became this year so our expectations are more like a good T2 in this case, with more rigorous schools being a case of luck depending on child having a good day at their assessment…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a young June girl, aka currently a 3yr old. It’s a mucky birthday for TT, but all the schools you mentioned should be attainable if you really want to send her to independent k next year. Is your preschool a heavy feeder in Sacred Heart, Nightingale, or CGPS? I just cannot imagine a PSD saying those schools aren’t attainable to the parents of a *three year old.* I know young summer birthdays at all of them and Sacred Heart even has the pre-k option. It doesn’t make sense.

That said, I have a June 2021 girl and we didn’t apply this year. I’ve been through this process and know the schools and have older kids. I cannot stress enough how much social-emotional readiness impacts school. Forget about in kindergarten (but don’t, really— think about the size of these schools, the length of the day, the amount of transitions they go through…) but really think about middle school. This isn’t about academics— it’s about maturity, puberty, executive functioning, social media, and a hundred other things that don’t even exist for us to worry about yet… if your concern keeping her in preschool is academic boredom, 1) you’re at the wrong preschool because a good one will keep a 5s classroom academically engaged and 2) consider the social-emotional possibilities she could confront as the youngest vs the oldest.

With my first I didn’t get it and tried to push the young, quiet, summer birthday (who was reading at 3) through the process because academically, ready! It didn’t work and it was the best thing that ever happened. It really opened my eyes to the social-emotional component of their growth and what a gift it was to let that develop before sending them to kindergarten. Just food for thought from a mom who has walked the path.

We have a young July and at our TT school, about half the class with summer birthdays are “young” summer birthdays, the other half from the previous year. In some cases, a few of the younger kids even come across as more advanced than some of the older ones, so it does seem to be very child dependent at least on academics but socially they all get along and have friend groups, and my kid is thriving.

We have yet to go through middle school but so far we are pretty happy with our experience. What are the types of social experiences within for instance puberty or social media do you think gets especially tricky? I would have thought as they get older it evens out even more

To be clear, I was never talking about academics, strictly social-emotional. In my experience you see young in k/1 and then it evens out. And then you see it again in 7/8. Your kid is a year younger than many peers. When will the older peers get smart phones? When will they get Snapchat (or whatever iteration of that exists at the time)? When will they maneuver themselves independently around the city? When will they go to the club dances, loft parties, start dating, start drinking… and when will your child push back on you because “peer X (old summer) who is in the same grade as me is allowed to do Y and I should be to.”

It definitely doesn’t even out.

I see, thats good to know. I do see some social inside jokes like who plays the latest video game or who has a certain hair style or backpack but figured that was more kids preferences

I think some of this depends on peers - my public school kid is an October birthday and that worked out fine because there's a whole cohort of fall kids, so he's not in a position we're he's weirdly immature compared to his class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A woman posted a similar concern on Facebook the other day - was that you, OP? although she said her kid was having conflict with other kids and she was worried about support from the preK for independent K. And then some other folks chimed in saying they were getting similar feedback from their preschools, that perhaps TT wasn’t a good fit. I wonder if PSDs are aggressively counseling down families because of how competitive this past year was!

OP here - that wasn't me! But interested if you can share a link.

I don’t know if the Facebook link will work, but here is the text of what the parent posted:

What should I reasonably expect from preschool?

I recently had a parent teacher meeting with my preschool and I'm a little concerned. My child is nearly 4. At home she seems to naturally gravitate toward more "academic" interests - for ex. she makes us quiz her on addition and subtraction, she tries to read more simple words on signboards when we are out and about. We have never pushed her on any of this and it's very self driven.

We had a parent teacher meeting with our preschool and I'm not sure what to make of it. The teacher had no idea she was doing all of this, and said she's never shown any interest in anything academic, that all she wants to do is pretend play with a group of children. I'm not against her doing that at all, but shouldn't the school ensure they do some type of academic learning (even just a few minutes a day)? Part of the reason we chose this preschool is because they have a very good teacher to student ratio and I guess I just expected them to be more aware of what was going on with my kid developmentally. At this point it seems like all the academic enrichment is coming from us at home.

They also flagged that she would sometimes get into conflicts with the other students because she was trying to tell them what to do. They suggested putting her in after school activities and setting up play dates outside of school. This kid is in activities 3 days a week and we have multiple play dates on the weekend, including a standing one with our family friends and their son who is her age. She has a small amount of conflict with these kids rarely but most times none so I don't really know what to make of it.

We will potentially be applying to selective independent K for next year and I know the school's report and preschool visit matters a lot. If my kid isn't really shining at this school should we be thinking of moving her somewhere else for 4s? I would hate to because it's so much change and instability.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you want TT K, you hold her back a year, let her mature socially, and then she will likely get the TT admission. If you don’t wanna pay for 2T/3T, go public. School has to manage all these kids, and they know which ones they are going to broker TT for. They are telling you it’s not going to be your kid- it sucks, but you don’t want to go through the whole thing and be disappointed. The preschools have a lot of power in this whole game.

It wasn’t just TT, they also shot down sacred heart, nightingale and CGPS. They were really pushing Bank Street and Town, which we really aren’t interested in.

I guess it’s a hard lesson for us that we have to play these stupid games. Honestly wish we had just done public pre-k or non-feeder, no support would be better than what they are offering.

This sounds like a bad PSD. Sacred Heart, Nightingale and (especially) CGPS are all very attainable schools IMO, particularly if you are full-pay.

Maybe shot down is too strong of a phrase. When we mentioned those schools they said that was fine but that they felt she would really “thrive" at progressive schools. And seemed a bit disappointed when we said we weren’t interested in progressive.

I wonder if they're really thinking about your kid's personality and giving fit-based recommendations?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you want TT K, you hold her back a year, let her mature socially, and then she will likely get the TT admission. If you don’t wanna pay for 2T/3T, go public. School has to manage all these kids, and they know which ones they are going to broker TT for. They are telling you it’s not going to be your kid- it sucks, but you don’t want to go through the whole thing and be disappointed. The preschools have a lot of power in this whole game.

It wasn’t just TT, they also shot down sacred heart, nightingale and CGPS. They were really pushing Bank Street and Town, which we really aren’t interested in.

I guess it’s a hard lesson for us that we have to play these stupid games. Honestly wish we had just done public pre-k or non-feeder, no support would be better than what they are offering.

Bank Street is fantastic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a young June girl, aka currently a 3yr old. It’s a mucky birthday for TT, but all the schools you mentioned should be attainable if you really want to send her to independent k next year. Is your preschool a heavy feeder in Sacred Heart, Nightingale, or CGPS? I just cannot imagine a PSD saying those schools aren’t attainable to the parents of a *three year old.* I know young summer birthdays at all of them and Sacred Heart even has the pre-k option. It doesn’t make sense.

That said, I have a June 2021 girl and we didn’t apply this year. I’ve been through this process and know the schools and have older kids. I cannot stress enough how much social-emotional readiness impacts school. Forget about in kindergarten (but don’t, really— think about the size of these schools, the length of the day, the amount of transitions they go through…) but really think about middle school. This isn’t about academics— it’s about maturity, puberty, executive functioning, social media, and a hundred other things that don’t even exist for us to worry about yet… if your concern keeping her in preschool is academic boredom, 1) you’re at the wrong preschool because a good one will keep a 5s classroom academically engaged and 2) consider the social-emotional possibilities she could confront as the youngest vs the oldest.

With my first I didn’t get it and tried to push the young, quiet, summer birthday (who was reading at 3) through the process because academically, ready! It didn’t work and it was the best thing that ever happened. It really opened my eyes to the social-emotional component of their growth and what a gift it was to let that develop before sending them to kindergarten. Just food for thought from a mom who has walked the path.

We have a young July and at our TT school, about half the class with summer birthdays are “young” summer birthdays, the other half from the previous year. In some cases, a few of the younger kids even come across as more advanced than some of the older ones, so it does seem to be very child dependent at least on academics but socially they all get along and have friend groups, and my kid is thriving.

We have yet to go through middle school but so far we are pretty happy with our experience. What are the types of social experiences within for instance puberty or social media do you think gets especially tricky? I would have thought as they get older it evens out even more

To be clear, I was never talking about academics, strictly social-emotional. In my experience you see young in k/1 and then it evens out. And then you see it again in 7/8. Your kid is a year younger than many peers. When will the older peers get smart phones? When will they get Snapchat (or whatever iteration of that exists at the time)? When will they maneuver themselves independently around the city? When will they go to the club dances, loft parties, start dating, start drinking… and when will your child push back on you because “peer X (old summer) who is in the same grade as me is allowed to do Y and I should be to.”

It definitely doesn’t even out.

I see, thats good to know. I do see some social inside jokes like who plays the latest video game or who has a certain hair style or backpack but figured that was more kids preferences

Anonymous wrote:A woman posted a similar concern on Facebook the other day - was that you, OP? although she said her kid was having conflict with other kids and she was worried about support from the preK for independent K. And then some other folks chimed in saying they were getting similar feedback from their preschools, that perhaps TT wasn’t a good fit. I wonder if PSDs are aggressively counseling down families because of how competitive this past year was!

OP here - that wasn't me! But interested if you can share a link.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a young June girl, aka currently a 3yr old. It’s a mucky birthday for TT, but all the schools you mentioned should be attainable if you really want to send her to independent k next year. Is your preschool a heavy feeder in Sacred Heart, Nightingale, or CGPS? I just cannot imagine a PSD saying those schools aren’t attainable to the parents of a *three year old.* I know young summer birthdays at all of them and Sacred Heart even has the pre-k option. It doesn’t make sense.

That said, I have a June 2021 girl and we didn’t apply this year. I’ve been through this process and know the schools and have older kids. I cannot stress enough how much social-emotional readiness impacts school. Forget about in kindergarten (but don’t, really— think about the size of these schools, the length of the day, the amount of transitions they go through…) but really think about middle school. This isn’t about academics— it’s about maturity, puberty, executive functioning, social media, and a hundred other things that don’t even exist for us to worry about yet… if your concern keeping her in preschool is academic boredom, 1) you’re at the wrong preschool because a good one will keep a 5s classroom academically engaged and 2) consider the social-emotional possibilities she could confront as the youngest vs the oldest.

With my first I didn’t get it and tried to push the young, quiet, summer birthday (who was reading at 3) through the process because academically, ready! It didn’t work and it was the best thing that ever happened. It really opened my eyes to the social-emotional component of their growth and what a gift it was to let that develop before sending them to kindergarten. Just food for thought from a mom who has walked the path.

We have a young July and at our TT school, about half the class with summer birthdays are “young” summer birthdays, the other half from the previous year. In some cases, a few of the younger kids even come across as more advanced than some of the older ones, so it does seem to be very child dependent at least on academics but socially they all get along and have friend groups, and my kid is thriving.

We have yet to go through middle school but so far we are pretty happy with our experience. What are the types of social experiences within for instance puberty or social media do you think gets especially tricky? I would have thought as they get older it evens out even more

Would you mind sharing which TT school this is?

It’s a coed TT

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a young June girl, aka currently a 3yr old. It’s a mucky birthday for TT, but all the schools you mentioned should be attainable if you really want to send her to independent k next year. Is your preschool a heavy feeder in Sacred Heart, Nightingale, or CGPS? I just cannot imagine a PSD saying those schools aren’t attainable to the parents of a *three year old.* I know young summer birthdays at all of them and Sacred Heart even has the pre-k option. It doesn’t make sense.

That said, I have a June 2021 girl and we didn’t apply this year. I’ve been through this process and know the schools and have older kids. I cannot stress enough how much social-emotional readiness impacts school. Forget about in kindergarten (but don’t, really— think about the size of these schools, the length of the day, the amount of transitions they go through…) but really think about middle school. This isn’t about academics— it’s about maturity, puberty, executive functioning, social media, and a hundred other things that don’t even exist for us to worry about yet… if your concern keeping her in preschool is academic boredom, 1) you’re at the wrong preschool because a good one will keep a 5s classroom academically engaged and 2) consider the social-emotional possibilities she could confront as the youngest vs the oldest.

With my first I didn’t get it and tried to push the young, quiet, summer birthday (who was reading at 3) through the process because academically, ready! It didn’t work and it was the best thing that ever happened. It really opened my eyes to the social-emotional component of their growth and what a gift it was to let that develop before sending them to kindergarten. Just food for thought from a mom who has walked the path.

OP here - did you guys end up at a TT after waiting for a year?

My issue with keeping her in this preschool is not just exmissions but also the fact that they don't see her strengths at all, or so it seems from the conversation we had with them. It really seemed like she was disengaged at school and didn't speak much.

Yes, we ended up at our 1st choice TT the following year.

What have parent teacher conferences been like? Was she there for 2s or did you just start this year? Have her teachers ever said anything to you? Is there a way you can circle back to them in a productive manner and say that you want to work with them to make sure the child you know at home matches the one that shows up at school? What sort of support might she need, etc. Schools love "parents as partners." You can fight them or you can be the neck that turns their head to your kid.

Another option (since contracts are likely already signed), is put her in public and apply her to 5s programs in the fall for the following year (I can tell you the schools with robust programming). Or apply from public kindergarten.

I'm sorry. It is nearly May and I would feel completely blindsided by this if everything up to this point had been great.

Do you mind sharing some of the 5s programs you recommend?

Sure. Any particular neighborhood?

We can do both UES and UWS so would love to hear recs

I was impressed by Christ Church, Brick Church and Park Children’s 5s programs. Add in Garden House if you want very academic. People also like All Souls but it is likely too progressive for OP.

A woman posted a similar concern on Facebook the other day - was that you, OP? although she said her kid was having conflict with other kids and she was worried about support from the preK for independent K. And then some other folks chimed in saying they were getting similar feedback from their preschools, that perhaps TT wasn’t a good fit. I wonder if PSDs are aggressively counseling down families because of how competitive this past year was!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a young June girl, aka currently a 3yr old. It’s a mucky birthday for TT, but all the schools you mentioned should be attainable if you really want to send her to independent k next year. Is your preschool a heavy feeder in Sacred Heart, Nightingale, or CGPS? I just cannot imagine a PSD saying those schools aren’t attainable to the parents of a *three year old.* I know young summer birthdays at all of them and Sacred Heart even has the pre-k option. It doesn’t make sense.

That said, I have a June 2021 girl and we didn’t apply this year. I’ve been through this process and know the schools and have older kids. I cannot stress enough how much social-emotional readiness impacts school. Forget about in kindergarten (but don’t, really— think about the size of these schools, the length of the day, the amount of transitions they go through…) but really think about middle school. This isn’t about academics— it’s about maturity, puberty, executive functioning, social media, and a hundred other things that don’t even exist for us to worry about yet… if your concern keeping her in preschool is academic boredom, 1) you’re at the wrong preschool because a good one will keep a 5s classroom academically engaged and 2) consider the social-emotional possibilities she could confront as the youngest vs the oldest.

With my first I didn’t get it and tried to push the young, quiet, summer birthday (who was reading at 3) through the process because academically, ready! It didn’t work and it was the best thing that ever happened. It really opened my eyes to the social-emotional component of their growth and what a gift it was to let that develop before sending them to kindergarten. Just food for thought from a mom who has walked the path.

OP here - did you guys end up at a TT after waiting for a year?

My issue with keeping her in this preschool is not just exmissions but also the fact that they don't see her strengths at all, or so it seems from the conversation we had with them. It really seemed like she was disengaged at school and didn't speak much.

Yes, we ended up at our 1st choice TT the following year.

What have parent teacher conferences been like? Was she there for 2s or did you just start this year? Have her teachers ever said anything to you? Is there a way you can circle back to them in a productive manner and say that you want to work with them to make sure the child you know at home matches the one that shows up at school? What sort of support might she need, etc. Schools love "parents as partners." You can fight them or you can be the neck that turns their head to your kid.

Another option (since contracts are likely already signed), is put her in public and apply her to 5s programs in the fall for the following year (I can tell you the schools with robust programming). Or apply from public kindergarten.

I'm sorry. It is nearly May and I would feel completely blindsided by this if everything up to this point had been great.

Do you mind sharing some of the 5s programs you recommend?

Sure. Any particular neighborhood?

We can do both UES and UWS so would love to hear recs