Anonymous wrote:Students at NCS and STA socialize quite a bit. They take classes together are on teams together and travel together.

Plenty of dating occurs.

Folks act as if they’re isolated on a windswept island off the northern coast of Scotland.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are at Beauvoir and considering next steps.

We recognize that St Alban's and NCS are among the very best schools in DC but are struggling with the question of if these are the environments we want to raise our kids.

I had friends in college who attended NCS and spoke about what a toxic environment it was - unhealthy competition, eating disorders. I remember thinking how glad I was this wasn't my experience. That was decades ago - is it better now?

We hear people rave about St. Alban's. But when we went on a tour it also felt a bit off to us. -- the high schoolers we interacted with on the tour seemed like great kids but all had this vibe of a bit neurotic and overwhelmed.

I have no doubt that these kids are getting excellent educations and learning how to navigate a high-achieving culture. But are these happy environments? Do kids emerge from schools well-adjusted and ready to thrive and enjoy life?

What do these schools do to actively support this healthy mindset, beyond teaching them to achieve academically?

Are there parents of kids at these school who have had similar doubts? Were those fears confirmed or were you pleasantly surprised?

Please do not respond if you have no experience with the school.

I find NCS and St Alban very strange. They pretend they still live in some traditional bubble from 100 years ago. But the building, the single sex, the location, and the tradition are so out of place in the current time. I got that they want to imitate Oxford or Cambridge. But they never really were contemporary. The Close feels so odd. Just a reminder: the National Cathedral was built in 1893. My grand-grandmother's chair was older.

Anonymous wrote:Put two daughters through NCS and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. NCS didn’t invent eating disorders and putting a group of hyper competitive girls in a school can create problems. Some good. Some bad. The DEI thing has been dialed back and the Asst. Head of School Paige Blumer is doing her best to modify the schedule, lessen stress, and create more bonding opportunities between the upper and lower schools. Hope they don’t lose her.

That said much stress starts at home. If you’re trying to be that family and you’ve got that “Ivy or Bust” mentality you can do much to ameliorate the problem.

Anonymous wrote:NCS US parent here; DD arrived in 9th grade, was looking for a competitive environment with motivated peers, found it, and is thriving. This thread considered in toto is the fairest description I have seen of the school and its complexities on this site. Well done, all!

Anonymous wrote:We are at Beauvoir and considering next steps.

We recognize that St Alban's and NCS are among the very best schools in DC but are struggling with the question of if these are the environments we want to raise our kids.

I had friends in college who attended NCS and spoke about what a toxic environment it was - unhealthy competition, eating disorders. I remember thinking how glad I was this wasn't my experience. That was decades ago - is it better now?

We hear people rave about St. Alban's. But when we went on a tour it also felt a bit off to us. -- the high schoolers we interacted with on the tour seemed like great kids but all had this vibe of a bit neurotic and overwhelmed.

I have no doubt that these kids are getting excellent educations and learning how to navigate a high-achieving culture. But are these happy environments? Do kids emerge from schools well-adjusted and ready to thrive and enjoy life?

What do these schools do to actively support this healthy mindset, beyond teaching them to achieve academically?

Are there parents of kids at these school who have had similar doubts? Were those fears confirmed or were you pleasantly surprised?

Please do not respond if you have no experience with the school.

Anonymous wrote:We are at Beauvoir and considering next steps.

We recognize that St Alban's and NCS are among the very best schools in DC but are struggling with the question of if these are the environments we want to raise our kids.

I had friends in college who attended NCS and spoke about what a toxic environment it was - unhealthy competition, eating disorders. I remember thinking how glad I was this wasn't my experience. That was decades ago - is it better now?

We hear people rave about St. Alban's. But when we went on a tour it also felt a bit off to us. -- the high schoolers we interacted with on the tour seemed like great kids but all had this vibe of a bit neurotic and overwhelmed.

I have no doubt that these kids are getting excellent educations and learning how to navigate a high-achieving culture. But are these happy environments? Do kids emerge from schools well-adjusted and ready to thrive and enjoy life?

What do these schools do to actively support this healthy mindset, beyond teaching them to achieve academically?

Are there parents of kids at these school who have had similar doubts? Were those fears confirmed or were you pleasantly surprised?

Please do not respond if you have no experience with the school.

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Anonymous wrote:We have a HS student at NCS and it is the right school for her. I've read about "toxic" and "mean girls" and "pressure cooker" on DCUM for years and years, but she felt like it was the right place for her, and I trusted that.

She's really happy and has found a nice group of friends who are not private jet to the second home kind of wealthy. She's playing sports and looks to be tracking into the advanced/honors classes. She is quite bright - was insufficiently challenged in middle school - and she is loving the challenge. Not to be overly rosy - of course she has bad days, and the work load is serious, but so far she's able to manage it without huge problems.

Our experience just does not track with all the horror stories I read here, so I thought I would chime in to say that. If you have a smart, driven, self-motivated kid who loves learning, it might be the perfect place for her.

My daughter loves NCS. Some of the things offered there she now appreciates even more. The parent community overall is much much nicer than St. Albans in our experience. You won't find parent friends as easily at St. Albans as at NCS and that is the same experience that at least 7 plus other families we know that have had kids at both schools have had as well. St. Albans parents can be brutal.

Surprising given there’s so much overlap.

DP. Actually only 30 percent overlap of families that have kids in both schools. Many families have one gender - only daughters or only sons.

For others - they send elsewhere.

Several sisters in our grade were sent to more conservative Catholic schools like Holy Child, Stoneridge, or Visi

You mean the son goes to an Episcopalian school and his sisters go to Catholic schools? That seems odd.

It’s a reality.

Smart move. My friend has five kids and sent each one to a different school to get to know everyone worth knowing.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We have a HS student at NCS and it is the right school for her. I've read about "toxic" and "mean girls" and "pressure cooker" on DCUM for years and years, but she felt like it was the right place for her, and I trusted that.

She's really happy and has found a nice group of friends who are not private jet to the second home kind of wealthy. She's playing sports and looks to be tracking into the advanced/honors classes. She is quite bright - was insufficiently challenged in middle school - and she is loving the challenge. Not to be overly rosy - of course she has bad days, and the work load is serious, but so far she's able to manage it without huge problems.

Our experience just does not track with all the horror stories I read here, so I thought I would chime in to say that. If you have a smart, driven, self-motivated kid who loves learning, it might be the perfect place for her.

My daughter loves NCS. Some of the things offered there she now appreciates even more. The parent community overall is much much nicer than St. Albans in our experience. You won't find parent friends as easily at St. Albans as at NCS and that is the same experience that at least 7 plus other families we know that have had kids at both schools have had as well. St. Albans parents can be brutal.

Surprising given there’s so much overlap.

DP. Actually only 30 percent overlap of families that have kids in both schools. Many families have one gender - only daughters or only sons.

For others - they send elsewhere.

Several sisters in our grade were sent to more conservative Catholic schools like Holy Child, Stoneridge, or Visi

You mean the son goes to an Episcopalian school and his sisters go to Catholic schools? That seems odd.

It’s a reality.

Anonymous wrote:

My daughter loves NCS. Some of the things offered there she now appreciates even more. The parent community overall is much much nicer than St. Albans in our experience. You won't find parent friends as easily at St. Albans as at NCS and that is the same experience that at least 7 plus other families we know that have had kids at both schools have had as well. St. Albans parents can be brutal.

This is one of the craziest things I have read here and it is absolutely exactly the opposite of our experience. Our DS was not an STA lifer and we did not know one person when he began school there. He and all of his friends loved their STA experience (some were better students than others), and I am confident these boys will be his lifelong friends. They talk about sending their own sons there. As a parent, several of my closest friends are other parents I met at STA - there are many smart, interesting and thoughtful adults there. Many, many parents I know sent their sons to STA and chose schools other than NCS for their daughters (myself included).