Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is a weird to get upset about if you haven’t darkened the door of a church in 17 years.

I’m religious too, but I get why this stuff is a big deal to OP. If you aren’t going to church, then the baskets and the egg hunt is the whole holiday.

It’s Easter, the most religious of Christian holidays. If you don’t celebrate that, then there isn’t much of a “holiday.” Who believes in the Easter Bunny?

You’re not really this clueless, are you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Dumb comparison. Secular Easter celebrations, like secular Christmas celebrations are established annual rituals for a large percentage of American families. Nothing like deciding out of the blue to celebrate a new holiday that has nothing to do with family traditions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is a weird to get upset about if you haven’t darkened the door of a church in 17 years.

I’m religious too, but I get why this stuff is a big deal to OP. If you aren’t going to church, then the baskets and the egg hunt is the whole holiday.

It’s Easter, the most religious of Christian holidays. If you don’t celebrate that, then there isn’t much of a “holiday.” Who believes in the Easter Bunny?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don't expect him to CARE ABOUT IT, but I may still expect him to do something to help with it. I don't mind being the driver behind things that I want to do that aren't needed (end-of-school/beginning-of-summer baskets for our kids, for example - those are not important and I do that because I want to and I don't expect him to do anything about it). But certain things like Christmas presents are technically optional/extraneous and I still expect my husband to participate in that. I don't expect him to care - you can't tell someone to change their feelings on something - but I do expect him to do something about it. Where you draw the line is up to you, but if you recall the threads about a kid needing a red sweater for a school holiday performance, some people think that's a need (because they were told their kid had to have it) and others think it's ridiculous and therefore optional. Stuff like that you may both not want to do but parenting is an awful lot of things you don't want to do. On those things, I don't think it's fair for a spouse to say it's not important to them so they're out. Easter baskets/egg hunts are pretty basic things for kids in UMC America (I can't speak for others because that's how I grew up and how I'm raising my kids). Whether or not people are religious, they still do these for their kids, so I think allowing one spouse to just say I think it's dumb so I won't participate is pretty crappy.

LOL, nope. Not if it’s celebrating a religious holiday when you are not a part of that religion.

All of a sudden, if my husband told me we were going to make a big, effort-filled expensive Dwali celebration, I’d tell him to go for it and have fun but I’m not doing that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is a weird to get upset about if you haven’t darkened the door of a church in 17 years.

I’m religious too, but I get why this stuff is a big deal to OP. If you aren’t going to church, then the baskets and the egg hunt is the whole holiday.

Anonymous wrote:Stop creating problems. Since you were buying Easter baskets you could have easily grabbed some candy at the same time.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. YOU want to do a totally optional egg hunt. Why does he have to do the shopping for it? This is your project, right?

Anonymous wrote:Hugs, OP. My xH did something similar; he is supposed to have the kids for Easter today as per our custody agreement, but texted me yesterday to let me know he didn't feel like doing Easter this year so I could just keep the kids.

We were able to get some eggs and dye last night and colored eggs together. I wasn't able to get candy or baskets, but that's okay. The important part was us celebrating together, even if it was low-key.

Anonymous wrote:Hugs, OP. My xH did something similar; he is supposed to have the kids for Easter today as per our custody agreement, but texted me yesterday to let me know he didn't feel like doing Easter this year so I could just keep the kids.

We were able to get some eggs and dye last night and colored eggs together. I wasn't able to get candy or baskets, but that's okay. The important part was us celebrating together, even if it was low-key.