You forgot what it is like to live with teenagers

Just accept the fact that their frontal lobe is but fully developed yet.

Be happy that they are safe and healthy.

This type of executive functioning is stuff you should have been working on over the years. Oh well. And yeah, shit happens and just move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Calm down and give them a hug. Will you remember this in 10 years? Will any of it matter?

You would be zero percent mad? This is about 1k + for nothing in a week (other driver wants to go through insurance and key will be 300+.

It's definitely on the + side of $1k. I had a minor accident in a parking lot with total damage of $750. My insurance dropped me and that was the only accident I had in more than 25 years with the company. Even if your carrier doesn't drop you, it's going to be a bump in insurance rates to keep your daughter insured.

But, as to being mad, I'd be upset about having to spend the money. But, everyone screws up and none of this was intentional or overly serious. Just expensive. I might be more upset about the keys because we have a designated place for vehicle keys and a second designated place for the spare. Losing a key would mean that my kid was too lazy to put the key away where it belongs. (We have a kid with serious ADHD and have had to designate a place for everything since a very young age if we don't want to lose things).

If he has access to Google, he has access to solving the key problem and/or transportation problem. I know those fobs are expensive. My vehicle only came with one and I wanted a second. The dealer wanted to charge $600 for it but I found a locksmith who could order a generic one w/o the car brand logo for $300. Ended up costing $350 because the generic was sold out and he had to get the branded one. He was thrilled for a $350 key sale andi was thrilled not to spend $600 on a stupid spare key. Call every locksmith within a reasonable driving radius. The one I used happened to be in the grocery store parking lot—-it’s been there for decades.

Anyway, I’d have him solve this, even if it means putting him on a greyhound back to school. Those keys are somewhere—probably under a pile of laundry, in a pocket, in a backpack, something like that.

Have the roommate mail the key to you (fedex overnight shipping) and DS can wait a day or two until it arrives. You need to make this a bit painful for him or he will not learn to be responsible.

Stop coddling your kids. Have them sort it (perhaps might be too late for you since you seem to have not ingrained any ownership of mistakes or responsibility into them,

Don't worry DD and DS mommy is here to fix your mistakes again! :roll

This sounds like one of the times flying to school might be worth it. I have 2 teens/young adults. You have to expect things like this to come up. Accidents happen. Mistakes happen. They cost money. You will survive. If money is an issue, can you leave the scratch to deal with down the road?

(Cont.)
^^ Sorry forgot to answer your question…..yes I would be upset but likely only temporarily.

This is a perfect example of how parenting is not only an eighteen year commitment!

As a Mother of grown kids - I offer you my empathy.
These things happen on occasion.

I assume the missing key is a fob. Hoping someone with experience chimes in here, but I think replicating an actual key is cheaper than creating a totally new key. (The mechanism needs to be pulled out of the car and rebuilt). To answer your question, I would drive him back to school, retrieve the other key and leave him without a car. He needs to feel the consequences.

Shi7 happens. The more children you have the more shi7 happens. No-one died or went to jail. You have good kids. Are they doing fent or knocking a girl up? Thank god they're doing NOT doing that.

Make the kid who lost the keys pay to replace them and do the work of getting new keys.

Make the kid who scratched the car pay to get the scratch out and take the car to get it out.

People need consequences, even for mistakes.

Can he catch a ride with a classmate and be without a car for the rest of the term? IDK, if he’s having a nonchalant attitude about something that is expensive and a major inconvenience in the context of him not working at all, I might be inclined to let him feel some natural consequences. But I would try to let that be enough. Life is uncertain, enjoy being together now.

Touch-up paint for the scratch can be picked up at a dealer nearby, which DD can apply in several coats. Why can't your son take alternative transportation to college and then back in a week to pick up the car when the fob is ready? The job is a separate issue--don't pile on grievances.

What car key costs $1k? Is this “mom” car a Mercedes or Volvo?

Did it have an AirTag on it — we air tagged all the car keys once teens started driving. We keep their spare tucked away. As long as you are paying his expenses you should hold on to his key.