Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

That is not the norm at all and your workplace is broken. Every place I have worked allows sick leave for annual appointments and taking children to annual appointments.

+1 if a workplace has typical 40-hour work week hours, which are also generally when doctors, dentists, and physical therapists operate, it is assumed you will use sick leave for regular appointments. You don't have some obligation to schedule your kid's doctor's appointments for the sliver of Saturday morning the pediatrician is open just because you work Mon-Fri, that's stupid.

This is the whole point of sick leave.

That’s why you have a wife.

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No. Someone is sick under his care as a parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just get the note and present it. My son had to do this at a job. The doctor will just confirm that they had an appointment at a certain date and time and won't say what it was for. You give it to your boss without further comment. "Here's the note confirming that I took my daughter to the doctor." If he asks what it was for, you say, a medical issue.

If you are new, they are establishing that you are not abusing the practice. At ine job I had we did require notes. It was not illegal to do this.

Find out the policy at your company.

You should not have to present a note for one appointment. The type of doctor signing the note can reveal health information the manager does not need to know.

I’ve literally redacted doctor’s notes but Op you can take your child to their pcp as well to get a cover note.

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

Obtain a copy of the employee handbook and see when you are required to provide a note. It’s usually to return to work after 2 consecutive days of sick leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

This is literally one reason why sick time exists.

+1 Not to mention most dental and orthodontist offices (along with many non-emergency providers such as dermatologists, Gyn, etc.) operate during normal workweek hours. How am I going to get my teeth cleaned sometime between 8 am - 4 pm if I can’t take leave for the appointment? And to the extent there are after hours appointments, such as at the pediatrician’s office, those are in high demand with extra after hours fees. Should the entirety of the 9-5 workforce scramble for these limited spots?

And how do you know what your employees do on a sick day? Not to mention his childcare arrangement that he pays for is not your business. Perhaps they want the nanny there if they are having to pay her guaranteed hours anyway, but want a parent home in case things take a turn for the worse.

The US of A is awful for working parents. Just get the Dr's note. You don't need to list a reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

This is not really true. In some states you can use a limited number of days for this. The employer is sort of messing up but there’s some basi do what they are saying. Here’s the issues:
1) does your policy allow you to fake sick leave for children’s illness? If so, follow the rules in that policy.
2) do you work in a state like DC that allows you to take a certain number of days for family sick leave? If so, provide enough info that they know it is covered by the law (which is DC is the ASSLA.)
3) is the illness FMLA covered (maybe). If so, the employer is entitled to track is against your 12 week entitlement (16 in DC). Taking one day is not worth tracking for most employers but if their HR delarent is very rigid, I can see them just asking as a matter of course. You can say it a not a serious health condition in which case it won’t be FMLA protected. If you want the FMLA protection you need to give sufficient medical facts to establish it’s a serious health condition (you can look that definition up easily online).

Again, #2 and #3 don't apply here -- OP is using paid sick leave granted by his job and the boss is not questioning it being used for a family member so that's clearly within the policy. If his policy didn't cover appointments for family members, the boss would just say "sorry our policy doesn't cover that, you need to use personal leave for that."

But the sort of leave being used doesn't change the fact that it is a violation of privacy laws to request detailed information about OP's or their child's medical care. They can ask for documentation from a doctor just to verify that the sick leave is being used for a proper medical purpose. They cannot ask what the diagnosis is or anything related to that (how long it's been going on, how sick they are, etc.).

There are multiple reasons for the privacy limitation. One is that if an employer asks about details of your medical diagnosis, it creates a risk of discrimination. For instance if my boss demands to know why I have had several doctor's appointments in recent months and I reveal it's because I am pregnant or trying to get pregnant, this creates a risk of discrimination against me for family or pregnancy status, which is illegal. Thus employers are not supposed to ask. The same concerns extend to medical conditions of family members, since asking about your spouse's medical diagnosis or that of your kid could be viewed as discriminating against someone for family status. This is also why employers are never supposed to ask if you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant, or even whether you have kids (they are supposed to wait for you to disclose this info).

#2 could absolutely apply. Under DC law, you begin accruing sick leave after 90 days of employment. In other cities and states, you begin accruing time immediately. That leave can be used for a child's doctor's appointments and taken in hourly increments.

Just say stomach issues and get the note. Your boss is a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:What is the J1 J2 thing?

Guy on here that was always talking about juggling two or three remote jobs at a time. He writes in a very distinct style and seems to be an older, likely white guy, based on the content of his posts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

J1 J2 please join us in the 21st century where women are a normal part of the workforce and father taking his child to a medical appointment is a routine occurrence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

This is literally one reason why sick time exists.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

This is not really true. In some states you can use a limited number of days for this. The employer is sort of messing up but there’s some basi do what they are saying. Here’s the issues:
1) does your policy allow you to fake sick leave for children’s illness? If so, follow the rules in that policy.
2) do you work in a state like DC that allows you to take a certain number of days for family sick leave? If so, provide enough info that they know it is covered by the law (which is DC is the ASSLA.)
3) is the illness FMLA covered (maybe). If so, the employer is entitled to track is against your 12 week entitlement (16 in DC). Taking one day is not worth tracking for most employers but if their HR delarent is very rigid, I can see them just asking as a matter of course. You can say it a not a serious health condition in which case it won’t be FMLA protected. If you want the FMLA protection you need to give sufficient medical facts to establish it’s a serious health condition (you can look that definition up easily online).

Again, #2 and #3 don't apply here -- OP is using paid sick leave granted by his job and the boss is not questioning it being used for a family member so that's clearly within the policy. If his policy didn't cover appointments for family members, the boss would just say "sorry our policy doesn't cover that, you need to use personal leave for that."

But the sort of leave being used doesn't change the fact that it is a violation of privacy laws to request detailed information about OP's or their child's medical care. They can ask for documentation from a doctor just to verify that the sick leave is being used for a proper medical purpose. They cannot ask what the diagnosis is or anything related to that (how long it's been going on, how sick they are, etc.).

There are multiple reasons for the privacy limitation. One is that if an employer asks about details of your medical diagnosis, it creates a risk of discrimination. For instance if my boss demands to know why I have had several doctor's appointments in recent months and I reveal it's because I am pregnant or trying to get pregnant, this creates a risk of discrimination against me for family or pregnancy status, which is illegal. Thus employers are not supposed to ask. The same concerns extend to medical conditions of family members, since asking about your spouse's medical diagnosis or that of your kid could be viewed as discriminating against someone for family status. This is also why employers are never supposed to ask if you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant, or even whether you have kids (they are supposed to wait for you to disclose this info).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

Legally? Is the OP in the public sector or work for the federal government?

Ahhh, doesnt matter . FMLA covers it.

OP's in a new job. No FMLA. Also, FMLA wouldn't apply to a single doctor's appointment.

As to whether an employer can require this, the answer is yes. There may be a limit as to how specific the medical information would need to be - you'd have to check your state law for details. But, if you're missing work and if you're planning to take sick leave documentation can be required. Often sick leave has specific criteria that must be met in order to use it and your employer can require to you document that your leave qualifies.

Also, for those who are saying that an employer has to allow an employee to use sick leave for their kids' medical appointments, that's not necessarily true. If you have a contract, like a collective bargaining agreement, that requires the employer to allow you to use sick leave for this purpose, then yes they are required. But this is not universal by any means.

If you're not used to this, it can feel odd. But it's very typical in certain industries. Many/most doctors actually have a bad of excuses that they just have to check off. Now, it's also common to have electronic excuses. This is especially true of pediatricians who need to provide kids with a note so that kids can return to school and not get an unexcused absence.

Wow this response is full of wrong or incomplete information. FMLA covers unpaid leave. If OP has sick leave as part of his employment benefits that kicks in as soon as he starts work, then he is entitled to use that sick leave immediately, he doesn't have to wait the 12 months for FMLA.

It's clear the company's sick leave policy covers appointments for kids because the boss didn't say it had to be for OP. The boss instead asked about the medical needs of his minor child. So the policy covers family members. If a policy permits the use of sick leave for immediate family members, the company must apply this equally to all employees and cannot selectively approve sick leave on this basis. It's either covered or not, and we can presume it is covered or the boss would have said "our sick leave doesn't cover family members."

Regardless, the boss cannot ask for details about medical needs or procedures. It's a violation of privacy and will be especially protected because OP is talking about a minor child.

The boss can ask for documentation of the doctor's appointment, and some employers do this to ensure employees don't use sick leave inappropriately. However, you don't do this by asking directly for medical info, which is illegal. Instead you let your employee know they should submit a note from the doctor to the appropriate department (payroll or HR, who can verify the note and ensure the time is correctly approved as sick leave) within a certain number of days after the appointment. The boss never needs to see the note himself and should go out of his way to avoid asking for medical details.

I do think it's bad form for a workplace to ask for a doctor's note for an occasional short absence for an appointment, simply because it can be annoying to get these. My husband's office did this when I was pregnant, and for some reason my OB's office had trouble producing them, and it was a whole drama every time he accompanied me to an appointment, to the point that it actually ate up more of our time and made us later returning to work than we would have been otherwise. As a boss, I've only ever asked for documentation when I need it for another reason, like getting okayed on for temp assignment to cover someone or to process disability paperwork. That's for serious illnesses where someone can't work, not for a doctor's appointment. I've never asked any questions about a standard 2-3 hour absence for an appointment, that's none of my business.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

This is not really true. In some states you can use a limited number of days for this. The employer is sort of messing up but there’s some basi do what they are saying. Here’s the issues:
1) does your policy allow you to fake sick leave for children’s illness? If so, follow the rules in that policy.
2) do you work in a state like DC that allows you to take a certain number of days for family sick leave? If so, provide enough info that they know it is covered by the law (which is DC is the ASSLA.)
3) is the illness FMLA covered (maybe). If so, the employer is entitled to track is against your 12 week entitlement (16 in DC). Taking one day is not worth tracking for most employers but if their HR delarent is very rigid, I can see them just asking as a matter of course. You can say it a not a serious health condition in which case it won’t be FMLA protected. If you want the FMLA protection you need to give sufficient medical facts to establish it’s a serious health condition (you can look that definition up easily online).

I would look for a new job.