Anonymous wrote:Are you in your 40s? Anecdotally among my friends there seems to be a surge of annoyance at our husbands at this stage of life. Does yours chew loudly? Aaahgh!!!!!!

Not OP, but yes and YES!!! I seriously have to leave the room when he’s eating tortilla chips. I guess it’s not just me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce? People change. Honestly sounds like you have outgrown this relationship.

Or open it up. You may find him less annoying as part of a throuple.

The solution to dealing with one annoying man is dealing with two annoying men?

Mine has been gone all week and it’s been wonderful. Their energy is so jarring and unpeaceful

Anonymous wrote:Please report back when you both are retired 🥵

I married him for life but not for lunch is the joke. I too love being alone. I think for a lot of women we are just so needed by everyone all the time and when everyone is going, you know they won’t be needing you, the dog is an exception because he is adorable.

It is perfectly understandable to crave time for yourself - - I think everyone would agree w/this.

How old are your children??
Because unless they attend school, it may not be easy to get them out of the house.
As for your husband…..he should understand you needing to be left alone.
However if he won’t take the initiative to leave the house, then you may need to even though you prefer to be home when having your solo time.
After all > it IS his home as well & he has every right to be there as you do.

Hopefully you two can discuss this issue more in depth ➕ maybe come up with a viable solution that will satisfy you both.
You both may need to compromise on each side to achieve this keep in mind.

Wishing you both only the best.
Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he doing specific things that are maddening (micromanagement of dishwasher loading, frequently interrupting with “where’s the butter” type questions, making disruptive noise), or is it just that he’s there all the time?

He's constantly talking to me and pacing around. He doesn't seem to function without telling me every movement he makes and the floor squeeks nonstop when he walks on it.

So your house doesn’t have doors? I mean tell him closed door means you can’t be interrupted unless emergency.

Squeaky floor is just being unreasonable, most offices have background noise, HVAC, elevators, etc. wear a set of headphones if that is the hill to die on.

I really think you are heading for divorce OP. It sounds like your relationship has always been rocky.

That is so annoying. I hate when I don't get enough time to myself or when my work is interrupted constantly. My ex-husband was really good at that. My current roommates are chatty battys.

Anonymous wrote:Divorce? People change. Honestly sounds like you have outgrown this relationship.

Or open it up. You may find him less annoying as part of a throuple.

As an introvert, I’m with you OP! Doesn’t mean you don’t love your husband. Set boundaries, stagger schedules, learn stress management techniques.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to your office, park, coffee shop, to work. What a whiny woman.

Just don't go to Panera

Why?! What happens at Panera? lol

Anonymous wrote:Go to your office, park, coffee shop, to work. What a whiny woman.

Just don't go to Panera

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is why I want my own room.

I’m constantly wishing I had my own room with my own bed where I keep my stuff and close the door. Being married sucks.

You can end it. I'd feel terrible if that's how my spouse felt about being home with me.

Oh good lord. As someone who needs breathing room/decompression space - I HATE it when my spouse acts like wanting place or time for myself means I hate him. Not having that time and space would make me hate him for real.

+1

My DH learning that me wanting space or alone time was not an insult or an indication I was mad at him was a huge leap forward in our relationship. It's one reason I'm really glad we lived together before we married because it allowed us to work through that and for him to understand it's not rejection, I just need recharge time sometimes.

Now our kid is like that too and DH is like "oh yeah, you just needs space, no problem" and doesn't get all hurt.

People can learn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is why I want my own room.

I’m constantly wishing I had my own room with my own bed where I keep my stuff and close the door. Being married sucks.

You can end it. I'd feel terrible if that's how my spouse felt about being home with me.

Oh good lord. As someone who needs breathing room/decompression space - I HATE it when my spouse acts like wanting place or time for myself means I hate him. Not having that time and space would make me hate him for real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he doing specific things that are maddening (micromanagement of dishwasher loading, frequently interrupting with “where’s the butter” type questions, making disruptive noise), or is it just that he’s there all the time?

He's constantly talking to me and pacing around. He doesn't seem to function without telling me every movement he makes and the floor squeeks nonstop when he walks on it.

If you haven’t already, I would say talk to him and focus on his behaviors and how they impact your work and cause you stress. Think about boundaries that could work and set them. If it doesn’t work, maybe some counseling is in order, not because this is a divorce event but because communication isn’t working.

FWIW my SAHM friends have similar experiences with their husbands when they start WFH or retire. I think a lot of men just lack respect for their wives as individuals and it doesn’t occur to them that these constant interruptions disrupt you. You’re their wife! They can learn, though.