Too soon. I lost two friends in their 40s in the last couple year - one was in a traggic accident and the other had stage 4 cancer. One of the husbands was on dating apps less than 6 months after his and his wife's tragedy (he survived and she didn't). They have young kids, so I am surprised this is something he wants to prioritize right now. The other one, whose wife had stage 4 cancer, had a few years to process her impending death, and he is not dating and said he doesn't want to date until his youngest leaves for college.

Anonymous wrote:I have a mutual friend who told me that their male friend lost his wife over the summer and they think we would be a good match? I feel like it’s way too soon for him. It hasn’t even been a year that his wife has been gone? Thoughts? I mean, I’m happy to do dinner or catch a movie or go sightseeing if he just needs a companion, but I feel like it’s way too early for him to start dating.

Men are not women. And within those men who aren't women is a wide variety of people. For some men (people), if he had a good marriage, or had a marriage where he was catered to, he might not like being alone. And he'll jump right back into a relationship because he is scared of being alone. Or because he is lonely. Or because he just doesn't know how to sit with himself.

His timeline is HIS TIMELINE. Not yours.

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine's wife died young with two young children and from her hospital bed she urged him to pursue one of her friends, who she thought would make a great mom to their girls.

They've been together at least 20 years by now and have seen their daughters graduate from great schools and move on to successful careers.

Wow, that’s some clear eyed strategizing from a woman on her deathbed. Good for her.

thats too soon.

Before the casket is even in the ground. Literally at the funeral.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 68 and if my wife died, the last thing in the world I would want is to start dating quickly. It's been so long since I dated that I would be clueless. I never particularly liked dating and met my wife at work. Based on what I read here, it's a free for all.

I’m a lot younger than you and my husband died 6 years ago. Not interested in dating ever. I’m just focusing on living a good life. Dating would stress me out, so I understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Negative two months.

They will say they are "lonely", oh so terribly lonely, but really they are grieving and don't have the vocabulary for it.

OMG. I really have been completely unable to understand how quickly men jump into the dating pool after being widowed, but maybe this explains it.

It's sometimes this. Other times the marriage wasn't good and they're emotionally over it in advance. Other times they have someone in mind or unfinished business. And older women sometimes pursue them pretty aggressively because the supply of older men is low.

Anonymous wrote:Negative two months.

They will say they are "lonely", oh so terribly lonely, but really they are grieving and don't have the vocabulary for it.

OMG. I really have been completely unable to understand how quickly men jump into the dating pool after being widowed, but maybe this explains it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my dad after my mom died (wife of almost 40 years) - 6 weeks. I am not saying it’s advisable.

This. My best friend in middle school lost her mom to cancer, and dad started dating almost immediately. It really, really, REALLY messed her up.

If the guy has kids, stay far away. Even if they're grown, they are going to hate you.

Eeew. Couldn’t even keep his pants zipped for a respectable amount of time, eh?

You know that men have emotional as well as physical needs? Men (like women) vary, and my wife is fortunately alive so I have no direct experience, but I'd guess that it's more commonly about loneliness at an incredibly difficult time than about sex.

There are lots of ways to alleviate "loneliness" (aka grief) that don't require traumatizing and embarrassing your children. It's called having friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my dad after my mom died (wife of almost 40 years) - 6 weeks. I am not saying it’s advisable.

This. My best friend in middle school lost her mom to cancer, and dad started dating almost immediately. It really, really, REALLY messed her up.

If the guy has kids, stay far away. Even if they're grown, they are going to hate you.

Eeew. Couldn’t even keep his pants zipped for a respectable amount of time, eh?

You know that men have emotional as well as physical needs? Men (like women) vary, and my wife is fortunately alive so I have no direct experience, but I'd guess that it's more commonly about loneliness at an incredibly difficult time than about sex.

You have to wait?

Negative two months.

They will say they are "lonely", oh so terribly lonely, but really they are grieving and don't have the vocabulary for it.

He needs a date for the funeral - get that D gurl.

Anonymous wrote:Often before she dies.

This sadly

My dad started dating 6 months after my mom died