Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biglaw. 20 weeks primary caregiver and 4 weeks secondary caregiver (this is an illegal policy, but I digress).

How so? It’s fairly common to offer less to the person who did not give birth.

You can give 6-8 weeks extra to the person who gives birth, not 16 weeks extra.

6-8 weeks is only for the dinner size plate hole to reduce. It's not an actual recovery timeline. With that said, for a woman (yes, a woman) to recover from birth it usually means she needs to rest, which means you cant be solely responsible for a newborn. So, minimum the woman who gave birth and her partner (if there is one) should receive minimum 16 weeks both. In the interests of baby safely entering daycare, minimum 6 mos. Ideally for attachment purposes 6mos-18mo total between both parents.

I agree with you conceptually, but in the United States of America, this would be highly unusual as a benefit.

Yes, I agree. But why not shoot for the moon and then actually get something resembling necessary versus what we have now which is- as this post demonstrates- all over the place and completely dependent on the whims of your employer.

As far as the adoption poster goes, thats really unfortunate. You should have both been able to make dedicated time to bond. And if you dont understand the fact that an infant or younger child was removed from their mother (in terms of the infants perspective) then thats even more unfortunate. It does take time to make primary caregiver bonds. And consistency. And every baby, regardless of what is going on in the outside world, comes out expecting their mother. Their smell, their heartbeat, their voice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biglaw. 20 weeks primary caregiver and 4 weeks secondary caregiver (this is an illegal policy, but I digress).

How so? It’s fairly common to offer less to the person who did not give birth.

You can give 6-8 weeks extra to the person who gives birth, not 16 weeks extra.

6-8 weeks is only for the dinner size plate hole to reduce. It's not an actual recovery timeline. With that said, for a woman (yes, a woman) to recover from birth it usually means she needs to rest, which means you cant be solely responsible for a newborn. So, minimum the woman who gave birth and her partner (if there is one) should receive minimum 16 weeks both. In the interests of baby safely entering daycare, minimum 6 mos. Ideally for attachment purposes 6mos-18mo total between both parents.

You don't need 6-18 months for attachment. And, this is crazy to expect that much paid leave. My husband was back at work after 3 days of us adopting and we had to live in a hotel room in another state with him commuting for 3 weeks... we were plenty bonded in days, not weeks.

Okay- and your degree is in.....?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biglaw. 20 weeks primary caregiver and 4 weeks secondary caregiver (this is an illegal policy, but I digress).

How so? It’s fairly common to offer less to the person who did not give birth.

You can give 6-8 weeks extra to the person who gives birth, not 16 weeks extra.

6-8 weeks is only for the dinner size plate hole to reduce. It's not an actual recovery timeline. With that said, for a woman (yes, a woman) to recover from birth it usually means she needs to rest, which means you cant be solely responsible for a newborn. So, minimum the woman who gave birth and her partner (if there is one) should receive minimum 16 weeks both. In the interests of baby safely entering daycare, minimum 6 mos. Ideally for attachment purposes 6mos-18mo total between both parents.

I agree with you conceptually, but in the United States of America, this would be highly unusual as a benefit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an unplanned c section on a Monday. Went home from hospital Friday. Husband went back to work Monday. No help. First child. Unemployed so I had all the time in the world. Asked my husband how much time he had off. Never gave a clear answer. He ran his company. So I guess 5 days. I was a fool.

Paternity leave is Bull shit and should not be allowed.

My company was one of very first with paternity leave way back in 1995. First year a guy took paternity leave his wife called up HR pissed as shit he was getting a two week off free vacation. Turns out he got his mistress pregnant and we gave him paid time off as a reward.

Next day his mistress called called pissed as shit as he was not at hospital but was on vacation in Vegas with his girlfriend.

Turns out our HR policy you get it if a man even if not your wife and no requirement to even spend the time with the kid.

Wonen should get more and men zero

This didn’t happen.

What if the woman is the primary breadwinner, needs to return to work asap and the man is the primary caregiver? Your misogyny is showing.

Except that was not the case here. And my prior company back in 1990s was "Baby Mama" type place. The men in back office were like Nick Canyon.

I think men who are married who will actually spend time with kid should get it. Imagine you had a factory in the Bronx of 95 percent men and everytime one of them got someone pregant you gave them 8 weeks paid vacation? you be bankrupt in a few months.

Women have to give birth. Most working women at most have three kids. Eddie Murphy has 10 kids, Nick Canyon has 12 kids. That is crazy if you have guys like that working for you.

You. Are. Gross.

Because it is dumb to do it. My one company had a saying for this "two butts one seat" had some many people abusing generous parternity and matenity leave policies they had to hire two people for one job.

We had up to two years off for maternity leave. First six months fully paid, then we hold your job 18 months and when you come back you get job back and you get cola raise.

A women in my dept did back to back to back kids and timed it so next baby came near end of two years. We saved her job for six years and she came back to work with six raises. Oh year the guy who was a contractor/temp worker for six years filling in for her was fired.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an unplanned c section on a Monday. Went home from hospital Friday. Husband went back to work Monday. No help. First child. Unemployed so I had all the time in the world. Asked my husband how much time he had off. Never gave a clear answer. He ran his company. So I guess 5 days. I was a fool.

Paternity leave is Bull shit and should not be allowed.

My company was one of very first with paternity leave way back in 1995. First year a guy took paternity leave his wife called up HR pissed as shit he was getting a two week off free vacation. Turns out he got his mistress pregnant and we gave him paid time off as a reward.

Next day his mistress called called pissed as shit as he was not at hospital but was on vacation in Vegas with his girlfriend.

Turns out our HR policy you get it if a man even if not your wife and no requirement to even spend the time with the kid.

Wonen should get more and men zero

This didn’t happen.

What if the woman is the primary breadwinner, needs to return to work asap and the man is the primary caregiver? Your misogyny is showing.

Except that was not the case here. And my prior company back in 1990s was "Baby Mama" type place. The men in back office were like Nick Canyon.

I think men who are married who will actually spend time with kid should get it. Imagine you had a factory in the Bronx of 95 percent men and everytime one of them got someone pregant you gave them 8 weeks paid vacation? you be bankrupt in a few months.

Women have to give birth. Most working women at most have three kids. Eddie Murphy has 10 kids, Nick Canyon has 12 kids. That is crazy if you have guys like that working for you.

You. Are. Gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an unplanned c section on a Monday. Went home from hospital Friday. Husband went back to work Monday. No help. First child. Unemployed so I had all the time in the world. Asked my husband how much time he had off. Never gave a clear answer. He ran his company. So I guess 5 days. I was a fool.

Paternity leave is Bull shit and should not be allowed.

My company was one of very first with paternity leave way back in 1995. First year a guy took paternity leave his wife called up HR pissed as shit he was getting a two week off free vacation. Turns out he got his mistress pregnant and we gave him paid time off as a reward.

Next day his mistress called called pissed as shit as he was not at hospital but was on vacation in Vegas with his girlfriend.

Turns out our HR policy you get it if a man even if not your wife and no requirement to even spend the time with the kid.

Wonen should get more and men zero

This didn’t happen.

What if the woman is the primary breadwinner, needs to return to work asap and the man is the primary caregiver? Your misogyny is showing.

Except that was not the case here. And my prior company back in 1990s was "Baby Mama" type place. The men in back office were like Nick Canyon.

I think men who are married who will actually spend time with kid should get it. Imagine you had a factory in the Bronx of 95 percent men and everytime one of them got someone pregant you gave them 8 weeks paid vacation? you be bankrupt in a few months.

Women have to give birth. Most working women at most have three kids. Eddie Murphy has 10 kids, Nick Canyon has 12 kids. That is crazy if you have guys like that working for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had an unplanned c section on a Monday. Went home from hospital Friday. Husband went back to work Monday. No help. First child. Unemployed so I had all the time in the world. Asked my husband how much time he had off. Never gave a clear answer. He ran his company. So I guess 5 days. I was a fool.

Paternity leave is Bull shit and should not be allowed.

My company was one of very first with paternity leave way back in 1995. First year a guy took paternity leave his wife called up HR pissed as shit he was getting a two week off free vacation. Turns out he got his mistress pregnant and we gave him paid time off as a reward.

Next day his mistress called called pissed as shit as he was not at hospital but was on vacation in Vegas with his girlfriend.

Turns out our HR policy you get it if a man even if not your wife and no requirement to even spend the time with the kid.

Wonen should get more and men zero

This didn’t happen.

What if the woman is the primary breadwinner, needs to return to work asap and the man is the primary caregiver? Your misogyny is showing.