Anonymous wrote:It always makes me sad to read posts like this that basically say "Listen to me not focus at all on the kids I already have while I choose to focus on how I liked them better when they had chubbier legs."

Spend your energy on the kids you have and make the decision that you yourself acknowledge is the most responsible. Be an adult. No more babies. You don't have babies anymore and you have to accept it.

Anonymous wrote:Don't have another baby (kidding. Following request.)

But seriously - as someone who had a child older (because that's when life gave me partner/financial readiness), I'll gently say I take really seriously having another kid 40+. Are you OK if there are health challenges with your child? Or have you talked with your spouse about making a sensitive decision if the NIPT shows something wrong, especially in an environment that is not welcoming to women in these circumstances? Wish you the best with your and spouse's decision.

Anonymous wrote:I had the third and I think they have special needs. It has been devastating for me. My oldest was diagnosed with the same special needs after my third was born.

I love my kids more than anything, but this life is completely not what I dreamed of for any of us. I’m still processing my grief.

If rationally you don’t want a baby, don’t do it. Even in the best case scenario where everyone is healthy, it adds a lot of logistics and cost to your life. It extends the baby phase. And if you’re unlucky in the special needs department like we have been, it can be devastating for everyone.

I had all three kids under 35 and had no risk factors. Be really sure you want a third kid and think long and hard about whether you are equipped to handle special needs even if the odds are low.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just genuinely don’t think having a fourth is a decision you will regret. The gift of more siblings for my kids and another mind to raise outweighs the 5-6 months of bad nights, the postpartum weight loss game, and the few bad months of pregnancy. Life is short. Take advantage of being able to bring another life into the world. Love my kids more and more the older they get. I’d rather my kids be in one less activity than have one less human in their lives. Not a baby person but late 30s and considering a sixth.

You may as well because studies show that people who have more than four children age faster and have shorter lifespans, and you’ve already crossed that threshold: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/parents-might-age-faster-or-slower-based-on-how-many-kids-they-have/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just genuinely don’t think having a fourth is a decision you will regret. The gift of more siblings for my kids and another mind to raise outweighs the 5-6 months of bad nights, the postpartum weight loss game, and the few bad months of pregnancy. Life is short. Take advantage of being able to bring another life into the world. Love my kids more and more the older they get. I’d rather my kids be in one less activity than have one less human in their lives. Not a baby person but late 30s and considering a sixth.

You may as well because studies show that people who have more than four children age faster and have shorter lifespans, and you’ve already crossed that threshold: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/parents-might-age-faster-or-slower-based-on-how-many-kids-they-have/

I don’t think you choose to have a big family “because” you’re trying to speed your death but thanks for the thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just genuinely don’t think having a fourth is a decision you will regret. The gift of more siblings for my kids and another mind to raise outweighs the 5-6 months of bad nights, the postpartum weight loss game, and the few bad months of pregnancy. Life is short. Take advantage of being able to bring another life into the world. Love my kids more and more the older they get. I’d rather my kids be in one less activity than have one less human in their lives. Not a baby person but late 30s and considering a sixth.

You may as well because studies show that people who have more than four children age faster and have shorter lifespans, and you’ve already crossed that threshold: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/parents-might-age-faster-or-slower-based-on-how-many-kids-they-have/

Anonymous wrote:I just genuinely don’t think having a fourth is a decision you will regret. The gift of more siblings for my kids and another mind to raise outweighs the 5-6 months of bad nights, the postpartum weight loss game, and the few bad months of pregnancy. Life is short. Take advantage of being able to bring another life into the world. Love my kids more and more the older they get. I’d rather my kids be in one less activity than have one less human in their lives. Not a baby person but late 30s and considering a sixth.

Anonymous wrote:It always makes me sad to read posts like this that basically say "Listen to me not focus at all on the kids I already have while I choose to focus on how I liked them better when they had chubbier legs."

Spend your energy on the kids you have and make the decision that you yourself acknowledge is the most responsible. Be an adult. No more babies. You don't have babies anymore and you have to accept it.

Anonymous wrote:You should adopt a puppy