Anonymous
Post 03/02/2026 10:37     Subject: Re:Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:If you want kids you don’t need a man to make that happen.


Well, then she'd be raising a kind on $150k, and she didn't think $280k combined was enough!
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 10:22     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:39 year old recently started dating a 48 year old man. He married a woman in his early thirties who already had two little kids and helped raise them and provide for them financially. His ex wife and him did not get along as she developed alcoholism and they are now divorced.

He lives in a small rental apartment and has a decent job in the policy sector in dc. We have not discussed finances but I presume he makes something like 130k.

While we have great chemistry and enjoy each others company I wonder if he would be ready to try to have a biological child now, if we were to get serious and head down that path. I also wonder if he can afford to have a family. I make 150k and don’t really want to marry someone who makes less than me.

What would you advise?


what does money has to do with you having kids with this guy? He makes decent money too so what's the concern here.


Of course it has to do with having kids. First, he’s old and procreating with him causes higher autism risk for offspring
Second, at least 25-30% of his income will be going towards his kids from prior marriage.
Third, this makes OP the breadwinner in future marriage plus she would have to be pregnant, birth kids and provide critical care to them while kids are young.
Forth, it creates a bad dynamic in the relationship ripe for future conflicts.
Lastly, a joint income of $200k doesn’t buy much in DMV.

OP is younger and can find a man without kids
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 10:11     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:OP, the only thing that is certain, is soon... you will be unable to have biological kids. At 39+ that's the only reality that matters. Work with your odds right now and go to a sperm bank. Want to become a mother, become a mother. Do it solo. You may find your spouse/partner later. But at your age, finding the right/best guy right now, there is no way you have this luxury. I wouldn't say this if you were younger.


Terrible advice. Her odds of finding a partner as a SMBC making only $150K are near zero.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 10:09     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:He needs your income to supplement his and for you to be mommy to his kids. He may be willing to have a child with you to get that deal.


They are not even his kids unless he legally adopted them.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 09:16     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband makes half my income so I don't think that's a deal breaker. He has more flexibility and takes on more at home and with childcare (like with school delayed and possibly closing tomorrow, he will handle it). And yes, you can raise a child on a combined income of $250-300k ::

But if you haven't even talked about whether he wants to have another kid...why not, OP?! This is time sensitive information for you. Better to know sooner rather than later if the answer isn't one you like.


Is your husband also 10 years older than you ?


If a couple has shared goals and values, it doesn’t really matter. Not everyone wants private school and high-end everything. DH and I are middle class and pursued Fed jobs for work-life balance, and we are content. Perhaps you, or OP wouldn’t be.

Only on dcum is 120k considered a disgrace.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 09:10     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:39 year old recently started dating a 48 year old man. He married a woman in his early thirties who already had two little kids and helped raise them and provide for them financially. His ex wife and him did not get along as she developed alcoholism and they are now divorced.

He lives in a small rental apartment and has a decent job in the policy sector in dc. We have not discussed finances but I presume he makes something like 130k.

While we have great chemistry and enjoy each others company I wonder if he would be ready to try to have a biological child now, if we were to get serious and head down that path. I also wonder if he can afford to have a family. I make 150k and don’t really want to marry someone who makes less than me.

What would you advise?


what does money has to do with you having kids with this guy? He makes decent money too so what's the concern here.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 08:31     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:You want to have a child with some 50 year old divorced loser?

No. No. No.

His sperm will put your child at high risk of abnormalities. Find a younger man to have children with.


Yes - women should stop procreating with such lazy old losers
OP will have a happier family life and healthier offspring if she goes for a young immigrant lifeguard or uber driver. This is who should produce next generation of Americans.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 00:15     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh boy I'm f**d. I'm divorced and only make $112k. I guess I shouldn't even try dating. I thought women had their own money and don't care.

What's the minimum income required to date a woman?


Also divorced. I was making that in my early 30s. I am late 40s. I make 200k; a man I date should make what I make. A man for fun is when I don’t care about money. But a relationship? You better bring at least what I bring.


Yea I don’t know where all these low paid US born men are crawling under. And what they were all doing between there birth and age 50 in the US where money is like dirt under your feet.
I had an immigrant come from Wayfair to assemble furniture last week. The dude says he was making $120k working part time. He came to the US 2 years ago


You should ask him his journey to come here? You have understood that this man is a driven man and if leaving his country was the path to success then he will everything to do so. There are millions of other men like him in his country, why didn't they make the journey?


He was a Ukrainian. A prior warrior who was at the war but his wife got pregnant and was able to get them evacuate. He was assembling furniture (you know that “click furniture assembly” option at Wayfair).

Real men are warriors and would do everything necessary to provide and protect their family.

The lived in a modern all amenities complex in my city 2 years after getting here. The wife opened a translating firm. Both highly educated
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 21:21     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:A 48-year-old man making 120K is quite sad. My 22-year-old recently graduated from CMU, and he makes almost 500K/yr in his first job as an AI engineer.


I know one kid like your son when I graduated back in 2004. At that time he was offered $300k/year which was unheard of. If he is truly similar to that kid, then your child is extremely talented and absolute rarity.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 21:19     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh boy I'm f**d. I'm divorced and only make $112k. I guess I shouldn't even try dating. I thought women had their own money and don't care.

What's the minimum income required to date a woman?


Also divorced. I was making that in my early 30s. I am late 40s. I make 200k; a man I date should make what I make. A man for fun is when I don’t care about money. But a relationship? You better bring at least what I bring.


Yea I don’t know where all these low paid US born men are crawling under. And what they were all doing between there birth and age 50 in the US where money is like dirt under your feet.
I had an immigrant come from Wayfair to assemble furniture last week. The dude says he was making $120k working part time. He came to the US 2 years ago


You should ask him his journey to come here? You have understood that this man is a driven man and if leaving his country was the path to success then he will everything to do so. There are millions of other men like him in his country, why didn't they make the journey?
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 21:00     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:A 48-year-old man making 120K is quite sad. My 22-year-old recently graduated from CMU, and he makes almost 500K/yr in his first job as an AI engineer.


That is uncommon. My fifties fed attorney ex H is at a little over 200k. Your kid is an anomaly.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 20:55     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:A 48-year-old man making 120K is quite sad. My 22-year-old recently graduated from CMU, and he makes almost 500K/yr in his first job as an AI engineer.


What will he do in 2 years when the AI does his job?
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 18:44     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:A 48-year-old man making 120K is quite sad. My 22-year-old recently graduated from CMU, and he makes almost 500K/yr in his first job as an AI engineer.


Which specific degree did he get if you don’t mind sharing ?
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 17:26     Subject: Should I continue dating?
A 48-year-old man making 120K is quite sad. My 22-year-old recently graduated from CMU, and he makes almost 500K/yr in his first job as an AI engineer.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 13:47     Subject: Should I continue dating?
Anonymous wrote:

Yea I don’t know where all these low paid US born men are crawling under. And what they were all doing between there birth and age 50 in the US where money is like dirt under your feet.
I had an immigrant come from Wayfair to assemble furniture last week. The dude says he was making $120k working part time. He came to the US 2 years ago