Anonymous wrote:Modern day helicoptering (I am looking 👀 at you DCUM). “Young Larlo has graduated from his $90K/year college, but he is welcome to live in his twin bed boyhood room so he save for a down payment. If we do charge him rent, we will deposit all of it in a special account and happily return this money when he moves out.” Is this the new independence?

In this economy with its cost of housing, yes. Your snark is not landing in the way you thought it would.

Anonymous wrote:This morning on the FB page for my kids school was looking for recommendations for dorm cleaner/maid.

That parent was ridiculed by most people. If your kid one can't keep their 12 by 8 section of the room clean or google local cleaners on their own you have failed as a parent.

These people are robbing their kids of basic problem solving skills.

You’re fortunate that you’re able to make comments like that. If parents on my kid’s school FB parent group tried to ridicule someone, even for something as obvious as this, they would be immediately slapped down by the mommy moderators, who insist that we all must be “supportive” of each other.

Which only enhances the helicopter parent mindset.

This morning on the FB page for my kids school was looking for recommendations for dorm cleaner/maid.

That parent was ridiculed by most people. If your kid one can't keep their 12 by 8 section of the room clean or google local cleaners on their own you have failed as a parent.

These people are robbing their kids of basic problem solving skills.

Modern day helicoptering (I am looking 👀 at you DCUM). “Young Larlo has graduated from his $90K/year college, but he is welcome to live in his twin bed boyhood room so he save for a down payment. If we do charge him rent, we will deposit all of it in a special account and happily return this money when he moves out.” Is this the new independence?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All ivies except Cornell. They are like ants at the rest - the heavily curated experiences the parents manufactured for the kids to get into the ivies shifts over to targeting IB or MBB internships

Ha! Cornell parent here. There are definitely helicopter parents as evidenced by the parents FB group. I nearly lost it when a mom posted asking for how to get the schedule for the bus that runs through campus and town. I responded that it’s her kid’s job to learn how to navigate these type of situations and figure out how to reach out to the resources on campus to find the schedule. Some other mom scolded me for my response saying that the kids are studying so much and that it’s okay to help with things like this. 😂😂😂

OP—they are on every campus. Don’t be one.

Wow, what a story! I always wonder how long these parents go at it. Does it continue past when the kids get their first jobs?

My kid went to Tulane. My all-time favorite helicopter parent story on the FB page was a mom posting frantically one morning during exam week, saying that "we" need a blue book for an 8:30 exam and the bookstore doesn't open until 9:00. Would one of your kids who is in XX dorm mind meeting my child this morning and loaning him a blue book?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two types of helicopter parents.

The good kind who are gradually pulling back but still helping their special needs kids through the journey of life.

The bad kind who are vicariously looking for a second chance at success in life by trying again as their kids constant surrogate.

Unfortunately the bad kind outnumber the good kind at least 5 to 1 in every university setting.

The worst ones accompany there kids to job interviews.

Are you saying they sit next to their kid during the actual job interview? Really? Everything in this culture is 'do it alone' whether that be go to a job interview alone or wherever else (fill in the blank). But what's wrong with a parent (or friend) accompanying them to an interview for moral support (waiting in the car or office lobby) or to park the car while their kid (or friend) goes in?

Please, please, please tell me you're joking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All ivies except Cornell. They are like ants at the rest - the heavily curated experiences the parents manufactured for the kids to get into the ivies shifts over to targeting IB or MBB internships

Ha! Cornell parent here. There are definitely helicopter parents as evidenced by the parents FB group. I nearly lost it when a mom posted asking for how to get the schedule for the bus that runs through campus and town. I responded that it’s her kid’s job to learn how to navigate these type of situations and figure out how to reach out to the resources on campus to find the schedule. Some other mom scolded me for my response saying that the kids are studying so much and that it’s okay to help with things like this. 😂😂😂

OP—they are on every campus. Don’t be one.

Wow, what a story! I always wonder how long these parents go at it. Does it continue past when the kids get their first jobs?

I just found the answer to my question. SHM. https://www.cnbc.com/2024/05/21/gen-z-workers-are-bringing-mom-and-dad-to-job-interviews.html

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

How many filter pitchers can fit in one of those mini fridge btw? And where do students go to have water filtered via the britta? There's no sink in the dorm rooms at least not in most rooms.

My kid is going to a concert in xx city with his friends. What’s the best way for them to get there via public transportation?

I’ve seen this type of post multiple times.

I would expect there is zero chance the kid asked the parent to figure this out for them and by the time the parent comes back with whatever information they gathered the kid will already be back from the concert. This is just parent inserting themselves and meddling.

Genuine care for safety of their kid? Staying "relevant" in kid's life? Boils down to these things, perhaps?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

How many filter pitchers can fit in one of those mini fridge btw? And where do students go to have water filtered via the britta? There's no sink in the dorm rooms at least not in most rooms.

My kid is going to a concert in xx city with his friends. What’s the best way for them to get there via public transportation?

I’ve seen this type of post multiple times.

I would expect there is zero chance the kid asked the parent to figure this out for them and by the time the parent comes back with whatever information they gathered the kid will already be back from the concert. This is just parent inserting themselves and meddling.

"Did you wipe your bottom properly"?

Dcum heli on daily morning checkin

Suburban and ex-urban living also breeds helicopter parenting. Wish my kid was able to walk and take public transportation. Not everyone lives somewhere walkable or bikeable. Unfortunately, parents have to be more involved if they’re the kids’ main/only source of transportation. I grew up in an ex-urban area but back then, the extracurricular expectations were a lot lower.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

How many filter pitchers can fit in one of those mini fridge btw? And where do students go to have water filtered via the britta? There's no sink in the dorm rooms at least not in most rooms.

I'm sure your kids are capable of finding the sink in the bathroom and carrying the Brita back to their room. Right?

The sink used by all those kids? "Excuse me Larlo can you stop brushing so I can get to that sink to fill this pitcher with water?"

They wait their turn or come back later. Has your child never had to share something before?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All ivies except Cornell. They are like ants at the rest - the heavily curated experiences the parents manufactured for the kids to get into the ivies shifts over to targeting IB or MBB internships

Ha! Cornell parent here. There are definitely helicopter parents as evidenced by the parents FB group. I nearly lost it when a mom posted asking for how to get the schedule for the bus that runs through campus and town. I responded that it’s her kid’s job to learn how to navigate these type of situations and figure out how to reach out to the resources on campus to find the schedule. Some other mom scolded me for my response saying that the kids are studying so much and that it’s okay to help with things like this. 😂😂😂

OP—they are on every campus. Don’t be one.

Wow, what a story! I always wonder how long these parents go at it. Does it continue past when the kids get their first jobs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just look at the parent fb groups for almost any college. Helicopter parents are everywhere. But that's not a reason for your child to avoid a school -- they aren't interacting with parents.

This. That’s where you’ll see such critical questions posed like

HOW MANY WASHCLOTHS ARE YOU SENDING WITH YOUR KID? IM THINKING SIX.

HOW MANY BRITTA FILTER PITCHERS CAN FIT INTO A DORM FRIDGE? IS IT OK IF THEY JUST SHARE ONE AND REFILL IT MORE FREQUENTLY?

Yes, these are two real posts I saw in FB groups. That I ended up leaving.

How many filter pitchers can fit in one of those mini fridge btw? And where do students go to have water filtered via the britta? There's no sink in the dorm rooms at least not in most rooms.

My kid is going to a concert in xx city with his friends. What’s the best way for them to get there via public transportation?

I’ve seen this type of post multiple times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All ivies except Cornell. They are like ants at the rest - the heavily curated experiences the parents manufactured for the kids to get into the ivies shifts over to targeting IB or MBB internships

Ah- not at all. My kid is at one. We didn’t even have it on our radar. He applied senior year on a whim- not a “manifactured” kid,

It’s the opposite. These kids are all
Very independent with some wild backgrounds. My kid has been abroad sophomore year and summer internships overseas. I have zero idea what goes on there.

+1. My kid went to HS school in DC and we live in a very urban walkable area so public transportation/independence was natural. The first night he rented a zip car and was in one state over for a sports tryout—which blew his friend’s (from the Midwest) mind-didn’t even know what a zip car was. My kid knew the entire city bus system. Second year- was on study abroad, same thing—shopped, cooked, handled health issue, etc. He’s always been a problem solver. I actually felt the Ivy parents much more relaxed, not as helicopter/over-bearing, as the NoVA parents at admitted day at some of our state schools.

But all of this is kid-family specific.