Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of downsizing, just get rid of things. Make sure all the spare rooms have empty dressers and empty closets. Nothing in your attic.

This was a surprise for my DH and his siblings. The house was well maintained, no clutter at all, empty draws and closets in rooms that weren't being used. After FIL's passing, they open the attic and everything was up there. Decades worth of stuff, papers, photos, awards, kid stuff....

We are in 50s, and I've tried hard to not accumulate stuff. I limited myself to 2 rubbermaid bins (the size you can easily carry) for each kid (0-18). Anything else, I took pictures of to remember. Made kids get rid of their 10s of trophies/awards/etc after freshman year of college---they helped decide what to keep. DD was a competitive dancer for 10 years, and she had medal/trophies from every competition for EVERY dance she had ever done. And some competitions give 2 ft tall trophies to everyone (and bigger for the higher scores). So our garage and her room was filled with them by senior year of HS. She kept 4-5 that she valued most (highest scores and awards from junior and senior year) and trashed the rest. No way am I storing all of those forever (and in reality she doesn't want them either).
But take photos of what matters most but you don't need to keep. I did same with artwork/projects/etc along the way. Because if I kept every damn project/artwork from age2 to 5th grade, I would have 20+ bins filled with it. And nobody has room for all of that. So select key ones, the ones your kid values most or you value most and make a photo book of the rest

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on your health and how big your house is. If you have an 8000SF home in McLean, maybe you downsize when the kids are in college/done with college.

If you have a 3000 or 4000SF house with a first floor master suite, I would think there's no urgency unless you need the equity out of it or don't want to pay for cleaning and lawn care as you get older.

Lol, 3-4k sf house is not a small house. Particularly if you're cleaning it yourself.

Does anyone still clean their house themselves?

Ummm....yes. I only have a cleaner come once per month for our condo (2 bed/2 bath), and I keep it clean the rest of the time. Easy to do when it's small, only 2 of us, and I try to stay on top of it every few days. So it's never that messy/dirty.
But we also bought a 3K sq ft home that we spend about 1/3 of time at. It's been 4 years now and I still haven't hired cleaners, because I'd want to be there when they are cleaning (until I can really trust them---I've always had local, independent L&Bonded cleaners who came highly recommended, never used a service), and I don't want to just have to have it cleaned once every month on a schedule---I want it cleaned after we leave or before we have guests coming. So far, I just do it all myself (I'm retired). Good exercise and it's nice to clean the house the day you depart anyhow so it's fresh next time you arrive.

Oh, and I'm worth more than 0.001% of people who are on DCUM. So I could afford to have a cleaner, just have been doing it myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on your health and how big your house is. If you have an 8000SF home in McLean, maybe you downsize when the kids are in college/done with college.

If you have a 3000 or 4000SF house with a first floor master suite, I would think there's no urgency unless you need the equity out of it or don't want to pay for cleaning and lawn care as you get older.

Lol, 3-4k sf house is not a small house. Particularly if you're cleaning it yourself.

Does anyone still clean their house themselves?

Ummm....yes. I only have a cleaner come once per month for our condo (2 bed/2 bath), and I keep it clean the rest of the time. Easy to do when it's small, only 2 of us, and I try to stay on top of it every few days. So it's never that messy/dirty.
But we also bought a 3K sq ft home that we spend about 1/3 of time at. It's been 4 years now and I still haven't hired cleaners, because I'd want to be there when they are cleaning (until I can really trust them---I've always had local, independent L&Bonded cleaners who came highly recommended, never used a service), and I don't want to just have to have it cleaned once every month on a schedule---I want it cleaned after we leave or before we have guests coming. So far, I just do it all myself (I'm retired). Good exercise and it's nice to clean the house the day you depart anyhow so it's fresh next time you arrive.

There is no set answer. Some people are sedentary and declining in their 60s or earlier and others are active and well into their 90s. Well educated moms tend to have children later in life. My UES kiddo has several friends with moms in their mid 50s, all extremely fit.

It’s really the stuff (clear out clutter if you have it and don’t re-accumulate), awareness of your health, having plans, and working to remain adaptable. That said, life throws curveballs. I broke my foot this morning along with a gnarly sprain, and need to stay off it for 5 days, won’t be driving for a month, and will be sporting a glamorous boot. Row house FTW. So these kinds of things can happen anytime.

I'm never downsizing. All my older relatives stayed in their homes for life. But then again nobody lived in a palace, 2500 sqft at the very most.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going through it with my parents now, who are 80, which has made my spouse and me conclude that we want to do it by 70.

Size is not the primary issue; it’s stairs. And it’s not that we think we won’t be able to handle stairs at 70 but that we want to be in a single-level place before we hit that point. My parents have both had health issues in the last five years that make being in a multi-floor house challenging. If they had moved 10 years ago, the last few years would have been less stressful.

It is possible that the continuous use of stairs helped keep them alive as long as they were! It seems like a mixed bag.

Stairs are not a big deal. Just get one of those staircase runners.

Anonymous wrote:Going through it with my parents now, who are 80, which has made my spouse and me conclude that we want to do it by 70.

Size is not the primary issue; it’s stairs. And it’s not that we think we won’t be able to handle stairs at 70 but that we want to be in a single-level place before we hit that point. My parents have both had health issues in the last five years that make being in a multi-floor house challenging. If they had moved 10 years ago, the last few years would have been less stressful.

It is possible that the continuous use of stairs helped keep them alive as long as they were! It seems like a mixed bag.

Anonymous wrote:Instead of downsizing, just get rid of things. Make sure all the spare rooms have empty dressers and empty closets. Nothing in your attic.

This was a surprise for my DH and his siblings. The house was well maintained, no clutter at all, empty draws and closets in rooms that weren't being used. After FIL's passing, they open the attic and everything was up there. Decades worth of stuff, papers, photos, awards, kid stuff....

My parents moved to my mother’s hometown to “downsize” and ended up buying a 2-story house that’s 30% bigger than the 1-story house they sold. 😬

It worked fine for about 5 years until my dad’s health took a turn. He had pneumonia in January and hasn’t been downstairs since. It’s a lot for my mom.

My MIL’s house is much more practical for aging in place, although even so my husband thinks she would be happier if she moved to a smaller condo so she didn’t have to worry about the yard, snow removal, etc. Plus, the extra bedrooms are just more rooms she can fill up with stuff that we will have to deal with someday (shopping is how she handles her anxiety).

75?

Neither my parents nor inlaws are there yet and they're all around 70. They still host holidays, dinners and use their whole homes. Annoyingly enough both own 2-3 homes. Inlaws have 2 vacation homes and a regular home, and my parents have a home near my sibling and a home near me.

What would be ideal is if they cleared out closets, spare room drawers, attics, basements. I don't think they should have to downsize things they use and love.

We've also looked at retirement homes with my parents. What they want is medium sized yards, large kitchens, large family room, large master bed and bath. Instead, all of it is tiny and non luxurious in smaller homes. Both sets have worked their whole lives for nice things and don't really want to be in a little dorm room with 30 year old kitchens. Cooking, gardening, and hosting dinners are their main hobbies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on your health and how big your house is. If you have an 8000SF home in McLean, maybe you downsize when the kids are in college/done with college.

If you have a 3000 or 4000SF house with a first floor master suite, I would think there's no urgency unless you need the equity out of it or don't want to pay for cleaning and lawn care as you get older.

Lol, 3-4k sf house is not a small house. Particularly if you're cleaning it yourself.

Does anyone still clean their house themselves?

One of many nice things about a downsize when you are in your 50s/60s is you are still likely very healthy and it forces you to really sort. I thought I was sorting, donating, shredding and throwing out, but once you must and you are moving to a smaller place you realize that Spring cleaning and the occasional weekend sort didn't cut it.

It also has made us even more determined to keep our no gift policy. We are not stuff people. The gift is a good experience with loved ones, memories and maybe a few photos. The relatives who are most toxic are the most likely to dump some junk on us as a 'gift' and then that junk, whether it's used or new comes with unspoken strings. Keep your gifts and strings. I just want pleasant experiences, special time with those we truly love and a clutter free environment!!

Anonymous wrote:My parents did in late 50s but mostly because they were selling the larger parcel of land the house was on (25 acres in a growing metro area). Now they're 75 and 78 and my dad is dead set on building a new house and driving my mom nuts.

My parents are still going back and forth between two large houses in their 70s. My mom still does all the landscaping at one and the cleaning at both. I'm happy they are finally enjoing their retirement - they waited too long and don't appear to have many more healthy years ahead of them.

My parents did in late 50s but mostly because they were selling the larger parcel of land the house was on (25 acres in a growing metro area). Now they're 75 and 78 and my dad is dead set on building a new house and driving my mom nuts.

We have a classic brick rambler. The kids are in college and our plan is to move when we can no longer afford it or when our health dictates. (our home equity is about a third of our net worth)