Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 yo regularly gets in the shower, forgets why she's there, and will just stand there for 15 minutes before starting to wash her hair. We'll even go in and remind her "wash your hair, wash your body" and she'll start doing it, forget, and then 5 minutes later she's still "rinsing out her hair." Her showers take forever and often she'll get upset because she's running out of hot water but still has tasks to complete and she has to do them in cold water.

I don't know how to keep her on task in there other than literally standing in the bathroom reminding her to do each thing in sequence until she's done. She is not like this with other things. She can be slow sometimes but usually stays on task. It's something about being in the water that just distracts her and she totally zones out.

We got an in-shower timer that gets set. So he has a visual reminder to complete the task. I also did this as a kid. My son does it. A timer in the bathroom doesnt work. It needs to be in their face. Also a visual step by step chart helps too.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FPWSNF4P?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title

Shower chart: https://www.amazon.com/HOM-Approved-Laminated-Children-Schedules/dp/B092LS4YMC/ref=sr_1_8?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.uaYbr8dG1U1_vKqcGlB04L4c6cOBiJeq3xB-eXITUrM8p_UXOa_MsNDAK0Qtmwcg86XkwlE5_Iusi7Vdj_oZgFdnGR-Sf_I77Buj01-Fq607dzCI8ayoUhgJE1V5q3YBIkj4SoKoC_d0MAvMXEUIxhSHeofKRg__HOQzswfCCLclwc_0-n0PEtPJAIIL-UgaQb6S_eCJeY1MGBrWYUdioZsvZyFXeIqIIzPS_AGWejEGiIVsL94ftQzOZTb98xHOHu-VygsLC6P18ILSlJz2JgrKGIj0n6T4dnDJUoo3pxQ.bnuZ-kLLBshJAb-WtfM1KkHNTe8eBTYLsmbsLWfxO_o&dib_tag=se&keywords=shower+chart+for+kids&qid=1770994587&sr=8-8

Your child has executive functioning issues. You need to help build those. Baking is actually a great way to work on planning and executive functioning without the high stakes of getting ready every day.

OP here. Thank you!!! This is exactly what I was looking for.

To others -- my kid really does not have this issue in other parts of life. When I say I have to spend time telling her what to do, it is because of our schedules and all the stuff that has to get done, not because she's spacing out or not listening. If I say "okay, homework time" she'll grumble but get out her homework and do it without me having to check in every few minutes to keep her on task. Same with doing chores or getting ready -- if she goes in her room to tidy up or get ready for school, she actually does it and I don't have to hound her. But M-F it feels like our whole day is moving from one thing to the next, and I know she feels that way at school too, and I have two other younger kids who require much more hands on supervision, so yes, it absolutely feels like I'm spending my entire day just managing everyone's schedules and keeping things running. She's my oldest and I don't want to push her to grow up too fast but right now every night winds up coming to a grinding halt when she gets in the shower because I'm having to interrupt making dinner or wrangle my toddler who needs constant supervision into the bathroom so that I can remind DD to rinse the shampoo out of her hair. If I don't do this, her fine hair comes out of the shower a total wreck and she gets dandruff, or she's upset because the water is turning cold and she hasn't started washing yet. It's a discrete problem that doesn't impact other parts of her life, and while I guess it's possible she has ADHD, it seems unlikely and this shower situation does not seem like a reason to go get her evaluated or to medicate a kid who has no other issues.

But this timer looks great, we'll try it out. Also thank you to the PPs who noted she's likely zoning out because it's her time to relax and the rest of her day is hectic. That is such a good point and is almost certainly why this is happening -- I'm going to figure out if we can figure out a way for her to decompress in another way (the long showers aren't working especially since we have a half-size hot water heater that is nearing the end of it's life but we'd like to squeeze another year out of since we literally just replaced our HVAC system).

Anyway, thanks all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids love chilling in a warm shower. I mean, I do too. Don’t you? She’s probably just decompressing and relaxing while in there. But to save your water bill, yeah, shout reminders through the door or set a timer. Or threaten to come in to do the hair wash if she takes too long.

This is terrible advice. You threaten a child? I can only hope you're not a parent. Traumatizing a child is not the way to help someone who may have a learning disability.

OMG, PP was not saying to actually threaten a child and traumatically wash their hair. More like if the child cannot get their shower done in a reasonable amount of time that they would come in to help the child wash his or her own hair. My lord, are you this literal about everything? Yikes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids love chilling in a warm shower. I mean, I do too. Don’t you? She’s probably just decompressing and relaxing while in there. But to save your water bill, yeah, shout reminders through the door or set a timer. Or threaten to come in to do the hair wash if she takes too long.

This is terrible advice. You threaten a child? I can only hope you're not a parent. Traumatizing a child is not the way to help someone who may have a learning disability.

If forcibly washing a kid's hair because they're lollygagging is 'traumatizing'? Then my kids are going to end up really, really freaking messed up later in life.

The internet can be such an incredibly stupid place at times.