Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 13:43     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
I did not read all of the comments but thank you OP for writing this as most won’t admit it out loud, and yes it’s a concern and tell kids all the time. Most won’t admit this. choose career (not worried about major) and life partner very carefully and think about their career prospects….eg don’t become a doctor and marry a teacher bc greater chance she’ll want to be a SAHM compared to fellow doctor. If you’re ok with that and also accepting that your future lifestyle and that of your kids is different than your upcoming, so be it, but you were educated on this. Many immigrant and wealthy upper class operate like this and I see nothing wrong with it if everyone is open and honest about expectations.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 12:01     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Anonymous wrote:I 'm old, but the topic header reminded me of this scene in the romantic comedy-drama film Metropolitan, from 1990.

"I think that we are all in a sense doomed...We hear a lot about the great social mobility in America, with the focus usually on the comparative ease of moving upwards. What's less discussed is how easy it is to go down. I think that's the direction that we're all heading in. And I think the downward fall is going to be very fast."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LffEEueylRM


Love Whit Stillman. It's funny because the guy gets social mobility just by being an average looking, nicely dressed white dude
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:47     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
I 'm old, but the topic header reminded me of this scene in the romantic comedy-drama film Metropolitan, from 1990.

"I think that we are all in a sense doomed...We hear a lot about the great social mobility in America, with the focus usually on the comparative ease of moving upwards. What's less discussed is how easy it is to go down. I think that's the direction that we're all heading in. And I think the downward fall is going to be very fast."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LffEEueylRM
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:44     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Regression to the mean.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:41     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
The "poors" are reading through this thread confirming the obliviousness of the "wealthy" and the deathly fear of "sliding down the social ladder." We all want to leave a better starting point for our children and subsequent generations, but we see the gate-keeping, the born-on-third-base, but-I-hit-a-triple mentality.

We are all afraid of falling, and it is heartbreaking knowing that the world treats you differently depending on how money you have or don't have. You are all going to be fine; once your dc sees how the lower rungs live, they'll come running out of steerage, and will gladly struggle to live on the interest from their trust fund.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:34     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing at this because we're Jewish and every single Jewish family has a generational path that goes:

Shift worker in a zipper factory in Yonkers ---> public school English teacher in New York ---> Chairman of the Federal Reserve ---> Barista at an indi coffee shop in Brooklyn.



This is funny, and true of so many people. Generational ups & downs..
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:25     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
No, I’m not worried. DH and I both came from poor backgrounds. Together we do well. Our kids are going to do better than our families of origin. They may or may not do as well as us. If they find good partners, they’ll be fine.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:15     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
I’m more concerned about the dilution of educational standards, as other threads suggest is happening at top colleges to accommodate underprepared students. No offense, but in STEM majors, sitting through very basic material is tedious and doesn’t help prepared students.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:13     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing at this because we're Jewish and every single Jewish family has a generational path that goes:

Shift worker in a zipper factory in Yonkers ---> public school English teacher in New York ---> Chairman of the Federal Reserve ---> Barista at an indi coffee shop in Brooklyn.


lol. so true - i've seen it.


There’s a similar Asian trope that skips a generation- immigrant who works tirelessly at their dry cleaning business—doctor—-stand up comedian.
I guess those of us in the penultimate position are just trying to navigate how to best help our kids. I’m neither Jewish nor Asian but know the stereotype and find myself (the granddaughter of Italian immigrants) with wealth. I want my kids to be happy and successful but know the odds of them doing better than me and my husband are tiny.



But why do they have to do better than you? Can’t they just do good enough?


I didn’t necessarily mean better. But the odds they make 50% of our HHI are still insanely low.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:10     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As the college application process wraps up, I’m realizing something that’s getting harder and harder to ignore: it really seems like DC is headed for downward social mobility. I just don’t see them pursuing a career that would allow them to maintain the lifestyle they grew up with. And since they’re not getting into Ivy League schools, they won’t even have the prestige, however little it may be, that might help them hold onto whatever social status comes with it.

And then there’s the bigger picture. The spouse they end up with will probably be in the same situation, and then there are their kids and the whole family trajectory. Add in the rise of AI and the disappearance of jobs, and it’s only going to make things worse.

Maybe this isn’t something people say out loud. One of those quiet anxieties. But can we rant about it on an anonymous forum.


Save more money, spend less, and leave them all you can in their inheritance. That is how you can help them and your grandkids.


Honestly, this. If they currently have some lifestyle (courtesy of you) that you don’t think they can make for themselves as adults—despite going to college and getting a professional job—then you clearly have the resources to help them in the future. Annual gifts, 529s for the grandkids, trusts when you die. Teach them deep financial literacy and long-term/intergenerational wealth planning. This is how every UMC and above family helps those who can’t swing it on their own (for those families that help, that is).

Ick. Don't have or want any of this. Parents don't feel the need to help us financially, which is fine by me. Isn't this how hustle dissipates through generations?


No. I grew up in the Midwest where that view was dominant. But it’s incomplete.

What they missed is that capital compounds advantage. It’s not about consumption (at least not purely), but about removing downside risk. It allows lower-paying but prestige-enhancing jobs early in a career. Unpaid internships. Long educational paths. Starting businesses without fear of destitution if they fail. The key is to use the money to support capacity building and limit it so that you remove stress without removing need for purpose.

Annual gifts under the exemption are not large ($38k if coming from both parents). 529s for grandchildren are for the distant future but alleviate a drain on your children’s finances now (or whenever they have kids). Covering educational expenses supports upward mobility, for financially and socially. Trusts come later. You teach that your family is a steward of money and it is a resource for other things, not that money is a goal unto itself.


Agreed with everything you have written. Money is a tool. Money is not the end.

IMO - Education is of supreme importance so that your kids can assess and analyze the world, not become self-destructive, build themselves up, make good decisions for themselves and the future. Money allows them to build wealth for themselves and future generation. But, future generation needs to be capable to use that wealth for its intended purposes. You don't want a future generation that becomes a drug addict and blow away everything.

So the education and intelligence of your progeny is very important. I don't mind being a school teacher. But I would like to have the generational wealth to give to my child who also wants to be a school teacher, and also be able to fund fully the education of my other child who wants to be a neurosurgeon.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 11:07     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing at this because we're Jewish and every single Jewish family has a generational path that goes:

Shift worker in a zipper factory in Yonkers ---> public school English teacher in New York ---> Chairman of the Federal Reserve ---> Barista at an indi coffee shop in Brooklyn.


What happens when the barista has kids? Mom or dad sets up them at the law firm where they are a partner? And so everyone will be fine. It's funny that working a customer service job is considered rebellion by rich kids.


+1. I don’t see many Jewish factory shift workers these days, partly because there aren’t many factories around anymore. The barista’s kids are supported for generations by the money and connections from the Fed Reserve.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 10:58     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing at this because we're Jewish and every single Jewish family has a generational path that goes:

Shift worker in a zipper factory in Yonkers ---> public school English teacher in New York ---> Chairman of the Federal Reserve ---> Barista at an indi coffee shop in Brooklyn.


What happens when the barista has kids? Mom or dad sets up them at the law firm where they are a partner? And so everyone will be fine. It's funny that working a customer service job is considered rebellion by rich kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 10:56     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
I think my social mobility has enough of a cushion built in. Both DH and I have terminal degrees, so if the kids don't there's really no harm if they "just" ger bachelors or masters, you know? Same for wealth. We only have 2 kids, so if DH and I gave them our wealth, they will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 10:54     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing at this because we're Jewish and every single Jewish family has a generational path that goes:

Shift worker in a zipper factory in Yonkers ---> public school English teacher in New York ---> Chairman of the Federal Reserve ---> Barista at an indi coffee shop in Brooklyn.


OMG, this is 100% our situation and family background except one step between the Chairman of the Fed and Barista (DH and I are both lawyers). My kids are destined for a lower "social class" and it does bother me a lot but I can only do so much. Kids are going to have to take responsibility at some point. What I worry about most is that kids will not be able to find partners because who wants to date/marry someone without grit and drive?
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2026 10:49     Subject: Downward social mobility - anyone worries about it?
Anonymous wrote:I'm laughing at this because we're Jewish and every single Jewish family has a generational path that goes:

Shift worker in a zipper factory in Yonkers ---> public school English teacher in New York ---> Chairman of the Federal Reserve ---> Barista at an indi coffee shop in Brooklyn.


Haha, I am at the public school teacher point, and the kids are on the upward path. It will be my kids’ headache to worry about their children downward trajectory.