Anonymous wrote:You are too old for this woman anyway. What's in it for her? Hope she loves elder care!

You can get a new wife and move on, but your kids can never get a new mom, and seeing another woman in their mother's place will be very hard for them. Forever. Doesn't mean you can't date and marry but your kids are unlikely to want to play Happy Family with this woman and her random kids.

Anonymous wrote:My wife used to frequent this site, so I’m hoping you all can give me some insight.

I was with my wife for over 45 years, and she unexpectedly passed in August of 2024. I started casually dating around February 2025. I told my daughter (35) then that I was dating and I planned on remarrying. She told me then it was my business, but she thought it was too soon for me to date but it was definitely too soon for her to hear about it. She said that I could do what I want but asked that I don’t speak to her about my dating life.

Fast forward to August and I met someone, and we’ve been dating since. I met her children back in early October so we thought it would be a good time for her to meet my children. I brought it up to my daughter and she told me she wasn’t ready to meet her yet, especially since we’d only been dating for a couple of months. I told her that was rude and that this would hurt my girlfriend’s feelings. She said if she’s a decent person she’ll understand. After this, admittedly, I says some things I regret (I tried to make her feel guilty). My son also said he wasn’t ready to meet her either.

Last week I brought up them meeting again. Before I brought this up I told her I was still seeing her but let her know I was unsure if we’d go the distance because we fight so much. I also told my daughter that my girlfriend was upset about she had her brother not wanting to meet her. She asked if she was upset or disappointed, because according to her she can understand disappointment but not hurt. I told her both, and that I told my girlfriend to extend grace to she and brother because of their grief. She said given my age (72), is this how I want to spend my time, fighting with someone all the time? She said that if we’re fighting this much and it’s only been a few months it’s only going to get worse. I told her I’d think about that.

After this is when I asked her if she’d consider an introduction between the two of them, not to spend time, but simply an introduction. She hesitated and told me she doesn’t know. I told her that at some point in the future if I’m still around, I’m going to have another wife. She said, “I know” and brought up her aunt and her mother. Her aunt, my wife’s sister, who was like a mother to her also unexpectedly passed 4 months before my wife. She said, “Mary passing is still fresh. So can you imagine how fresh mom passing is? Plus, now that I’m pregnant (first time), I miss her even more and it’s even harder for me. This is a very sensitive time for me.”. I told her that I understood and let her know that my girlfriend could help with that. My daughter said no, and that she didn’t want her to help. That this would’ve been a time reserved for her mom, and no one else. I asked her to just think about it when she was ready.

My daughter stayed the night last night because she’s helping me go through the attic. My girlfriend and I got into a pretty loud, nasty argument over the phone. We both said some nasty things. My girlfriend said some mean things about my wife, although she denies it. This morning, my daughter came downstairs and asked , “You guys fighting again, huh?” I told her yes. She said, “I’m not trying to be in your business but I heard you tell her that she said some mean things about mom.”. I told her I thought she did but that she denied it. My daughter said that if that’s the case she will never meet her, and that she knows her brother never will either.

I’m meeting my girlfriend tonight for dinner to patch things up.

So now what?

Just in case people are wondering:

Me, 72
Girlfriend, 56
Son, 39
Daughter, 35

Anonymous wrote:

Well I hope all this is fiction, OP. You've reached middle age without any sensitivity to other people's feelings, and without much in the way of filter, emotional control or sense of propriety.

I hope your children find happiness and success in life without you.

Anonymous wrote:If you have any assets you intend to leave in inheritance, step 1 is to give 80% of them away to wherever you would have sent them if you'd never met your GF. (Children, charity, whatever.) Protect your relationship by taking money out of the the equation.